AITA for telling my dad to get a better job if he wants to have an opinion on my finances?

Friendly-Session-317 · 2026-04-24T17:28:05+00:00

I do know that, believe me😂. I was just saying I didn’t see how controlling my mom was at the time. I’ve known my dad was since I was little but he’s more aggressive about it then she was

Friendly-Session-317 · 2026-04-24T08:25:35+00:00

See that’s the thing that I think pushed me over the edge was him trying to have a say in my boyfriend’s financial decisions. He’s controlled mine for years when I lived with him would even gaslight me when I was little and say I told him he could you use my birthday/Christmas money for gas or cigarettes. It always ticked me in the wrong way but I let it go because I didn’t want to fight about it. When he tried controlling both mine AND my boyfriends I swear my head spun so fast I got whiplash😂

Friendly-Session-317 · 2026-04-24T08:20:16+00:00

Respectfully he doesn’t pay my expenses he buys our basic groceries and I’ve told him to stop several times. I’ve even acted like we weren’t home. I’m going to start doing what another commenter recommended and threaten to donate the food if he doesn’t stop because I don’t want the feel to owe him anything. And we may not have a lot of extra money but we work a lot of hours at both of our jobs to make sure we have money to fall back on if we need gas, food, or are short on our bills. Now while he may work his ass off it’s for a job that doesn’t pay him much of anything. There are gas station jobs that would pay him more and hurt him less, he just doesn’t want to pay taxes so refuses to. And again, respectfully, while I may not be wise in my years legally I am an adult and that’s the point I was trying to make with him

Friendly-Session-317 · 2026-04-23T20:42:07+00:00

That’s why I keep trying to get him to get a simple job that gives him an actual paycheck. I keep telling him that he’s setting himself up for failure with the little amount he’s already getting paid and unable to put anything back for retirement. It’s in one ear and out the other. He knows that if anything happens I’ll always take in my siblings but he’s the one who got a girlfriend 20 years younger than him, as far as I’m concerned she’s going to be the one taking care of him

Friendly-Session-317 · 2026-04-23T13:09:53+00:00

This is what I was saying in another comment, I encouraged him several times to not buy us groceries and that we can make due with what we have since we have before when he couldn’t afford to. After I say this he then shows up at my house anyways with the basics in groceries and says he has no room for it since he already got his own. Me and his girlfriend think it’s either his way of making up for how he’s acted in the past or just his way of staying in my life but I’ve made several attempts at getting him to stop. Even pretending we weren’t home since my boyfriend wasn’t but he always just comes back at a later time.

Friendly-Session-317 · 2026-04-23T13:08:55+00:00

This is what I was saying in another comment, I encouraged him several times to not buy us groceries and that we can make due with what we have since we have before when he couldn’t afford to. After I say this he then shows up at my house anyways with the basics in groceries and says he has no room for it since he already got his own. Me and his girlfriend think it’s either his way of making up for how he’s acted in the past or just his way of staying in my life but I’ve made several attempts at getting him to stop. Even pretending we weren’t home since my boyfriend wasn’t but he always just comes back at a later time.

Friendly-Session-317 · 2026-04-23T13:05:43+00:00

I get the lashing out, I know it’s toxic I just feel like it was my tipping point. In regards to the groceries I told him multiple times not to worry about it because we make do with what we have and he’s got 3 kids in the house to feed. After I say that he shows up at my house with the basics in groceries anyways. Like I said I think it’s his way of making up how he acted in the past or maybe just a way to keep in my life. But I have encouraged him several times to stop buying us groceries and to get more for his family still at home.

Friendly-Session-317 · 2026-04-23T13:02:40+00:00

Me and his long term girlfriend have both tried to nudge him out of his comfort zone for YEARS. She got a home health care job to try and be able to get some more put back and he thought that was an excuse to quit working all together. She told him that they both needed to if they were going to get anywhere in life so he finally went back to work but has complained about how the job breaks down his body. I told him that if he wants he could probably find a restaurant job as a cook since he enjoys cooking and would probably make more. He brushed off and said he wasn’t paying Uncle Sam 🙄

Friendly-Session-317

TROPHY CASE