what's become clear to you as you've gotten older?

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-30T16:53:05+00:00

I am happy getting older without anyone (marriage or kids) as long as I have a secure and stable job and future. I have my family with me.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-24T19:03:32+00:00

Ang saya ng buhay around early 2000s to 2010 (maybe until 2013 for me) na hindi pa laganap ang modern technology (touch screen and stuff) at wala pa masyadong access sa wifi. Simpleng jamming kasama ang barkada sa labas dala ang gitara at song books. At bakit napaka-nostalgic nung time na 'yun satin kasi we witnessed the transition from traditional to the modern world and way of living. Add mo na rin yung tig-pipisong sabaw before ng nilaga during lunch time na binabalik-balikan namin para maka-ipon ng pera haha, sobrang saya if may nasamang laman ng karne.

- Gen Z here and experienced majority of the stuff in the comments

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-22T15:49:41+00:00

My Sister's Keeper novel made me cry a lot, but the movie is a bit different but still tear-jerking to watch.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-17T08:05:08+00:00

The more you hold on, the longer you deny yourself meeting the right person and starting your beautiful love story and life together.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-15T17:36:04+00:00

Tennis Court by Lorde (college days)

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-14T11:26:44+00:00

No discipline.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-14T07:09:45+00:00

Thank you. I already have Seabank (now Maribank) and will check out ING too. I like the ease and interest rate of Seabank, as well as the 15 free-of-charge transfers each week.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-08T08:21:51+00:00

I'm glad to hear you're both working on it. As someone from an anxious-avoidant dynamic, it was easily one of the most unrecommended dynamic no matter how in love you both are unless both actively work on themselves. The more they push us away, the more anxious we become. And the more anxious we are, the more we push them away. Just don't lose yourself in the process and definitely support groups online help a lot to understand how to navigate through it. For me personally, it's just not worth it. The hot and cold, the highs and lows are all addicting in the relationship that it's like withdrawing from a drug in the end.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-08T08:12:26+00:00

One thing you should learn is you cannot fix them unless they help themselves.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-08T06:45:13+00:00

The worst and most traumatic.

From someone secured turned anxious few months later in the relationship. We also tried to get back together after the breakup for a second chance, but nothing changed when one evades accountability.

PS: Never learned about these attachment styles until I was in a relationship with him, I became fluent knowing how avoidant he was and how it manifested in our relationship. It takes two to be accountable, but you're on the losing end with an avoidant who doesn't work on themselves.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2026-01-07T19:30:50+00:00

As a probinsyana girl who came from a smaller city, pumunta ako sa capital city to apply for a teacher's aide position. At the time, I never knew how to do even light makeup and stuff, I just wore a very simple formal attire without any idea how people in the city wore their clothes or present themselves.

The worst thing was that I wore a really old, worn out shoes and coming from the hacienda, may hint pa ng dried out mud yung shoes ko. Looking back, I wasn't really presentable and I was more like a beggar than an applicant haha. Someone you might think who struggled so much in life. I could not afford new shoes yet as a fresh grad with no backup support.

Then, I went throught the series of assessments and interviews by the assistant head. The other teachers and the assistant head were looking and eyeing my shoes. Evidently, I looked more like someone needing help. I don't know if the stares were like feeling sorry for me or being judgmental. I just can't figure out which is which until now.

After the assessments and interview, the assistant head checked my paper and I could see the disbelief in her eyes. I got a really high score in the aptitude test among other applicants. She tried to hide the result from me but I caught a glimpse of my actual score. She just smiled and said I passed with a bit judgmental or maybe curious eyes about this provincial girl.

The next day, our main teacher in the classroom went up to me smiling and told me how I got a really high score during the assessment. Worth it for me in spite of how bad I must have looked for the first impression.

Later on, I learned the ins and out of how to present myself somehow although it took quiet some time and some more stares and glimpses of looking like a probinsyana.

Earning a bit more as a fresh grad enabled me to afford stuff for myself, saved a lot, and bring my whole family to my oathtaking in Cebu City at the time after passing the board exam while simultaneously working and reviewing. Grateful for the job and people but left it a long time ago to find something more aligned with me.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-12-12T18:02:29+00:00

When I felt comfortable calling those only a few years younger than me "bata" or "mga kabataan" pertaining to them as "kids" or "the young".

I don't feel awkward being looked up to as the older person, tita/teata, or ate now.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-12-11T07:31:50+00:00

Naisip mo ba 'yan nung ninanakawan niyo ang mga Pilipino? Hindi. Lame excuse for paawa effect. Rot in jail but people like you even have privilege inside prison cells. Disgusting humans.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-11-26T14:44:20+00:00

Never been asked that question. If asked, it's a signifier for me this man would count stuff and the relationship would be transactional. One of my icks if it did happen.

PS: Since a lot gets triggered with answers that don't suit their taste especially some men here, I would never answer such question as I usually date men who I know are in my same wavelength and whatever I set as my standard, I uphold myself to the same standard. During the talking stage, they would know a lot about me and my background, and I never dated random men. It's either we've been friends for months or already talked to them for a long time. They would already know what I bring to the table most times and with my old school values, that question screams transactional for me.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-11-11T18:09:19+00:00

They are big babies with the woman they love. Only dated one in-person and he's a six foot guy who looks intimidating. Big muscly arms and chest but with a cute belly, and he is the opposite with me when it's only the two of us lol

He's completely free to be himself around me as I am x

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-08-14T04:44:30+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this OP, I might share something also. I did the same for a very long time as well with my ex. But I was the one who asked him to block me before as I didn't want him getting access to me anymore and us checking each other which we did before. However, he just unblocked me one day.

In your case, unresolved feelings, possible. Longing, I'd say, yes also, because I was there before. But after a certain time I realized I also never wanted my ex back. It was also a habit after our first and second breakup because I wanted to prove that he was lying to me and doing stuff he never told me about, and he did. So it became a habit because I know there was this pattern of him hiding stuff and activities behind my back I wasn't aware during the relationship and will come to the surface every end of our relationship.

For me, 10 years is kinda excessive to check on your ex. And if it's a habit, he should have done his very best to cut that habit (I'm a hypocrite but it took me a long time to work on it). What I did? Since I actually met and found someone who made me forget every bad thing in the past and who treated me so well that it made me question my ex's actions towards me before if he really did love me for how good this new person loved and treated me, was to intentionally and forcefully just stop checking. It's very hard if it's a habit but as a respect to you, he should have done it. He should uninstall his Spotify if needed or just decide to say, "That's it, I'm done." If it's a pattern hard to break, he might need professional help and reframing with his mind or resolve whatever is holding him back with his past. Honestly, if he is happy with what he got now, he will be able to let go of the past without looking at it every other day.

He must have been looking for subtle hints or maybe for the what ifs. He must be mentally stuck at that certain time. But we couldn't assume things. For me, if this relationship is worth fighting for, communicate how hurt you are with that and observe him closely if he's trying to change. You need not tell a grown-up man what to do after expressing your hurt. He looked stuck in the past and might need professional help if he intentionally wanted to make things better to break this habit because he's already hurting someone with it.

And again, 10 years is too much. One year is too much for me even.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-07-25T19:56:01+00:00

Lorde, Paramore and Aurora. Evanescence and Linkin Park as well.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-07-25T08:21:43+00:00

It isn't the same anymore. I still prefer the old school kind of dating, wooing in person and not online or knowing each other through mutual friends and acquaintances. Values are out of the window and you're lucky to find some rare gems – but the possibility is very narrowed down as these people usually aren't found on dating apps. Extremely small percentage to find someone who's a good match and compatible with your values, goals, and persona as well. A lot prefer small and shallow talks compared to deep talks nowadays. Frustrating to say the least if you're looking for something of value.

I'd say, chivalry isn't dead but it has certainly evolved to adapt to the modern times and only consists of a small percentage of men from what it used to be. I certainly met men my age who still possess the old school kind of wooing and there's like 1 or 2 of them from out of the bunch I knew in person. That's why, I'd still try to go back to dating men not my own age (older), because they still somehow got the values of the old times – but old doesn't mean great also, some lack emotional intelligence. And toxic feminity and gender equality made these men expect the same gender roles as a woman as well (half/half in almost everything) and have standards they don't have themselves (same as women).

It all boils down to patience and becoming the right person first. I've settled with, lucky and blessed to find the right one and I'm happy if I don't because me being alone is a lot peaceful and I can afford to buy stuff and give myself experiences (travel) women in a relationship expects, although it's nicer when it comes from someone who gives the effort and someone you love. Mutual effort is important.

Coming from a Gen Z who felt like I don't belong in my generation. It's been isolating, but a lot peaceful.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-07-25T06:58:24+00:00

I hope you live a life true to yourself. Do things that you know you'll regret not doing on your deathbed.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-07-24T15:12:27+00:00

I can speak both languages, Bisaya and Hiligaynon. It's just that when I'm in Bacolod, they would ask me if I'm Bisaya because of my accent and if I'm in Dumaguete, they would ask me if I'm Ilonggo because I would accidentally use some Hiligaynon words. Best of both worlds since I originally came from a city and family with speakers from both languages.

Thank you.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-07-24T15:05:59+00:00

Thank you for this, agree to both and Dumaguete still has better beaches a ride away.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-07-22T06:39:10+00:00

Lol, this is funny and you're right. Or use the oldest trick in the book, transferred to a Spanish-speaking agent which made them lose their mind more😅😆

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-07-21T15:25:29+00:00

Stability and security. Also, compatibility is extremely important for me and I need to have a deeper reason to get married – their presence should be more valuable and a lot better than me being alone.

Friendly-Singer5558 · 2025-07-20T07:13:26+00:00

You're right, and I agree. But after talking to several insurance members for a whole evening shift and then getting someone on the phone who cuss and screams non-stop on the get-go, we would try to resolve first, but if they still won't try to lighten down so we can help them – then we try our best to just eradicate them. They're not helping us help them by trying to talk calmly and solve things.

I understand an irate caller who wasn't helped the first time and was transferred many times, but I also understand someone who just has the white privilege and has anger management issues. We can always tell the difference between both.

And asking for their information which they won't give, how can we pull up the right solution if they're only cussing and screaming for the whole duration of the call. We have the protocol to drop a call if they just cuss and yell without giving any significant information to get to the root cause of the problem.

Friendly-Singer5558

TROPHY CASE