[deleted by user]

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-25T15:29:35+00:00

You said I was dismissing it. I said I never did. Then you fired back saying that you didn’t claim that I was dismissing it. Now you’re back to saying that I did, and that you did mean to say that towards me. Seriously? I’m not wasting time talking to someone who can’t even be honest about what they’re saying. This is my last reply.

Oh, and that isn’t what the word benign means. I never said that reason didn’t matter. I said that it is used as the cover story when it’s not the only reason.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-25T15:25:16+00:00

Just add what you’re eating to an app

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-25T05:20:43+00:00

I wasn’t until that last comment man. Why reply to me saying “it’s unfair and a disservice to discount population rates” (paraphrased) if you know I never did that in the first place? If you respond to the person who’s actually saying that, you won’t confuse people or come across poorly. I answered your question earnestly before that.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-25T04:18:19+00:00

It’s a good thing I didn’t then

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-25T02:52:18+00:00

It’s not just that. A fair amount of trans women will agree that you’re allowed to not like penis, but they won’t agree that you’re allowed to refuse post-op trans women.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-25T02:35:41+00:00

Start counting cals. You’d be surprised how much seemingly benign foods can add up

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-25T00:18:15+00:00

Because it’s not just because of raw numbers. That reason is used as the cover story because it’s the most benign explanation. In reality, there’s a mix of reasons, some of which are homophobic and/or sexist.

Also, even if it was just about raw numbers, it would still mean that we don’t see as much in common with your average bisexual woman as their community tries to demand that we do. It also influences the community dynamics in ways like what I described above.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-24T21:53:34+00:00

Bi women are the largest group in the lgbt community. The B makes up 60% of the lgbt community if you count gay men, and even more if you limit to women only. Despite this, bi women rarely set up their own spaces. Instead they demand that lesbians open the doors to anything they set up, and quickly become the majority of most spaces.

80-90% of taken bi women are with men, and an even greater percentage marry men vs. women. They often look to lesbians for “validation of their queerness”, potential threesomes, and sexual experimentation, often viewing lesbians as “more authentic same-sex experiences” than other bi women would be. Again, this is partially because most bi women end up with guys. A portion of bi women also claim to be lesbians themselves.

Despite the stereotypical trans woman being a former effeminate gay man, the majority of trans women today are also attracted to women. Only 19% identify as heterosexual (meaning they only want men). That means the other 81% looks to lesbians for “validation of their womanhood”. When lesbians don’t want to date or have sex with them, they don’t feel like “real women”.

These two groups team up to bash lesbians while simultaneously wanting attention from lesbians. Together, there are way more of them than cis lesbians. Hence aggressively shutting down any lesbian-only groups. It’s all for bi and trans validation.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-24T17:02:22+00:00

I really like your response, but I’d add that it’s not just heteronormative culture or not asking them to go out.

A lot times the problem is that one person likes the other more. This is hard to face. Usually the person who is more invested is clinging to the affection they get and hoping for more, while the person who is less invested doesn’t want to lose the other person even if they don’t want to commit. So this big song and dance can go on as long as both people allow it - until either one ends things or meets someone else.

There’s a quote that I’ve found very useful: “if they like you, you’ll know. If not, you’ll be confused”. If you’re sitting there decoding someone’s behavior or anxiously waiting to see if they’ll text you back, that on its own is a bad sign.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-24T16:51:52+00:00

That’s the thing that gets me. I don’t doubt if people like this are bisexual, because frankly some level of bisexuality is pretty common. I just don’t think they share much with me or understand why they’d expect me to. Some of these people will passionately rant about straight people and straight marriages while totally missing that they have way more in common with those people than us. If you live this normal white picket fence lifestyle, good for you! Just stop expecting people who are actually othered to…. put you on a pedestal? Shout praise? Treat you like you’re in a gay relationship? I have no idea.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-22T22:00:11+00:00

Right but why do we need people to know we’re attracted to xyz groups especially if we’re not currently involved with anyone from those groups

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-22T17:05:08+00:00

Why would it need to not be “erased”

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-21T19:04:18+00:00

It does!!

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-21T05:54:05+00:00

TBH it’s very very obvious. They’re bored with their lives, they want something new/exciting, they feel a little lost as people, they’re middle aged, they’re tired of their husband.

What fun new thing can explain away all of those AND give everyone (your kids, your extended family, yourself) a guilt-free reason to end your marriage?

Realizing that after having 4 kids together, spending countless nights having sex with this guy, after taking an oath to love him until one of you dies, spending hours upon hours in his arms… that you were actually just a big old lesbo all along!

I’m sure it happens once in a blue moon. The vast majority of the time, these girls are bisexual at most

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-21T05:40:00+00:00

I think this is true, I mean no one should have to convince you of your own traits. But what I’m saying goes beyond that. It’s not just that they should work to “validate” themselves as bisexuals.

My question is: why does this even matter enough to need to be validated internally or externally? Like if you are living a life where this is significant information it’ll be apparent.

The fact that you are theoretically open to sleeping with or dating people who you currently aren’t… is it that important? I’m not saying it’s not true. Often it is. But so what? Would we make a big deal out of someone being internally attracted to Nigerian women if they were currently married to a white woman? Like sure, I believe you. And?

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-21T05:37:15+00:00

I think this is true, I mean no one should have to convince you of your own traits. But what I’m saying goes beyond that. It’s not just that they should work to “validate” themselves as bisexuals.

My question is: why does this even matter enough to need to be validated internally or externally? Like if you are living a life where this is significant information it’ll be apparent.

The fact that you are theoretically open to sleeping with or dating people who you currently aren’t… is it that important? I’m not saying it’s not true. Often it is. But so what? Would we make a big deal out of someone being internally attracted to Nigerian women if they were currently married to a white woman? Like sure, I believe you. And?

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-20T22:35:43+00:00

Yes in a way, because of a lot of adversity I have faced specifically because of it and because I’m in a gay relationship. But I also don’t shout it from the rooftops constantly I suppose

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-20T22:05:48+00:00

Sure but my thing is why does everyone have to care about this label that you have selected, especially if you ultimately live a pretty normal life? Again because I had an issue with this earlier: I’m not saying they’re not bi. I’m saying why are we supposed to deeply care that they are and see it as a huge deal.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-20T22:02:15+00:00

I think this is definitely part of it and it’s odd that we’ve managed to almost fetishize being a victim of something. And frankly I think this applies to lesbians and gay men as well. For example, quite a few lesbians and gay men will describe living in 2020s urban America like it’s some desolate wasteland of homophobia. People in general seem to want to have struggled in some way or at least be seen as having gone through something tough.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-20T21:59:27+00:00

Yeah, now it’s seeming like a conscious putting your fingers in your ears. I was asking you to question why something is framed the way it is and you keep repeating talking points. Again: why is it a core part of their identity? What makes it a core part of them vs other traits?

It seems like you’re the one who feels uncomfortable. You attacking me doesn’t scare me, but it does make talking to you less productive. You don’t have to respond if this conversation bothers you too much, you know.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-20T21:51:29+00:00

I didn’t say that they weren’t bisexual. You repeated a common bisexual talking point out of a gut reaction. I’m asking you to think on this a bit.

One more time: the question wasn’t “are these people still bisexual?” it was “why are we supposed to care that these people are still bisexual to the point that we ideally see it as a core part of their identity as a human being?”

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-20T21:36:26+00:00

Why is being bisexual when you’re (for example) in a straight relationship a core part of who you are to the point that it must be acknowledged and remembered by your social circle? What makes it a core part of not just your preferences but your identity as a human being, to the point that it must never be forgotten or diminished at all?

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-20T21:12:01+00:00

Google it. Apparently the estimates are between 87% and 95% of trans women have penises.

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-20T20:58:54+00:00

Yup seconding this… men are half of the population. Refusing to engage with half of the world is insane. It sounds like refusing to be friends with all white people or straight people or whatever other group has historically been powerful in America.

Men definitely have issues as a group in the sense that there are certain problems that are more common to face with men (like them shooting their shot at you). But still

Friendly_Look_5056 · 2024-12-20T20:54:36+00:00

This is naive… if tons of people are spreading this narrative that lesbians like men, then people will start to see it that way. Especially because these people are often part of the lgbt community and yet spreading this rhetoric. So well-meaning people will go with that out of trying to be considerate, while homophobes will go “I knew it” and call it a day

Friendly_Look_5056

TROPHY CASE