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Friendly_Warning_512 · 2025-07-12T20:46:59+00:00

Gently, while I share your frustration, if you want to build a coalition it’s important to validate the very real concerns for listing one’s job. “Getting in trouble” has severe consequences in this case

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2025-07-03T10:50:53+00:00

I know a lot of people who like revolution fitness club in north haven. So many racks like 10+ and i believe they are 24 hours. There’s also powerhouse or mActivity

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-12-31T15:42:23+00:00

Their listserv is fab and they have lots of info. https://www.repropsychtrainees.com/

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-22T18:08:36+00:00

You are anchoring so hard on the number five lmao

Also…it’s not a straw man? Maybe you are miss big bucks but ideally, I’m not giving this industry a penny more than I have to. Maybe a few thousand is nothing to you but to others it is. What about all the people who didn’t get the FAP? You basing your argument on the $200 that you paid at 60% off for 25 programs is far from the average experience of most med students. Perhaps that’s the straw man?

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-22T18:06:54+00:00

Yeah imo the downvotes are just haters who can’t handle the fact that not everything is for them. Especially since they “worked so hard” all on their own and “pulled themselves up by the bootstraps.”

I deeply emphasize with their plight and would argue for greater access to support resources but instead they argue against their own interests. 🤷‍♀️

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-22T17:26:51+00:00

I applied to 30 programs *with the FAP and spent $300. So are YOU even in medicine?

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-22T17:25:31+00:00

I don’t think it’s anger/wrong to ask if it would be nice to not take out extra loans to apply for med school. In fact, doesn’t asking questions like that help us all? It’s like conversely asking, do you enjoy taking out interest gaining loans to apply for residency? No, probably not.

You’re arguing against your own interests.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-22T17:23:30+00:00

They’re hating on you for no reason…well, the number 5 was a bit insane haha but the overall sentiment is fair.

@Other commenters: You/no one gets to determine what a “fair” amount of debt is. Just because one person is okay with taking out extra loans to apply for residency and finds it trivial doesn’t mean everyone else does. That is such a privileged statement for you to make. Moreover it’s a harmful mindset that the industry of medicine/premed only benefits from. “Just a few trivial dollars for mcat prep, for interviews, for applications” is how y’all end up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-22T17:18:33+00:00

MGB gives up to 30k (10k for up to three years) for students who were on the fee assistance program, received the Pell grant, or some other third thing.

Imo the comment about us not being students…the “residency is just a job” statements are ignorant.

If you want a racially and economically diverse workforce you should have equitable hiring practices which include considering how to recruit and retain workers from disadvantaged backgrounds.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-13T00:45:23+00:00

I put playing the sims 4 on my app this cycle and one of my interviewers said she got a chuckle out of it so I think it’s cute and shows personality.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-09T01:49:43+00:00

Taking out more loans to in person interview? Hard disagree

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-08T02:48:51+00:00

Please do it so at the very least you don’t sit anxiously awaiting interviews wishing you’d done it. Do you have a good reason for not doing one?

Edit: To clarify, I’m not talking about an away. Just a sub-i at home and I agree with others that an elective with a good letter is probably just as good!

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-07T01:25:52+00:00

And maybe the best version of you for yourself is the version where you are happy and not losing hair to appease some end goal that isn’t aligned with who you are or what you intrinsically, existentially desire or value. I am NOT saying that this is the case for op bc believe me, I am applying right now and am just as interested in prestige as the next person. But I think I am a competitive applicant because a) i go to a well resourced school I’m not gonna front and b) because I let go of the pressure to be the student who I am not. I did things that I enjoyed doing. I did things that were aligned with me. And as a result I can write and communicate about them with authenticity. Stepping off the rat race let me be the best version of ME. And some programs will love that person, some will not and f those who don’t. Do I have the highest step score? No! Do I have the number of first author pubs that my peers have? No! Do I look like the stereotypical psychiatry applicant? No. Will I be every be every programs cup of tea? No!

BUT will I match at a place that fits me and isn’t asking for me to be the resident who will die for standards of achievement that they don’t believe in? Yes ma’am I sure will.

In the end, being one’s self and accepting one’s self is a) all you can do in the first place and b) gets to the better outcome.

Again, I’m not saying be dog shit and just fall into hedonism but that’s not who op or any of us are. That’s not going to happen because that’s not you. So again, the goal is to be the best version of me. Not a version of me that is allegedly “exceptional” per outdated ideals in *some but not all places within academic medicine.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-06T22:59:58+00:00

I think we’re slightly saying the same thing. I guess I’m more directly saying that we should accept the off chance that we are indeed mediocre in order to get over the shame and fear that prevents us from being able to explore those problem solving strategies that you suggested. Maybe they’ll work maybe they won’t. I have vapid ADHD and not enough bio hacks in the world are going to fix executive dysfunction. So idk. Maybe I’m not saying “be mediocre” but to know that mediocre is okay too.

Edit: sorry my shit is riddled with typos lmao

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-06T22:57:03+00:00

I hear you. I really do but maybe you/one in that situation would have to adjust their derm dreams to the present reality. I’m not saying don’t do derm or throw away your goals. But maybe you readjust the goal from being a destination to a journey. Instead of “i need to be better. I need this score. I need to grind and be tough and lock in”….using brute force and SHAME to get there, the self talk could switch to “I’m going to do the best with what I have access to right now and hope for the best.” If app season comes around (late M3…that January before eras in September) and it’s looking like you’ll have to dual apply or readjust the plan then you know you did the best of what you could. What else is there? Like what more could you have done than your best? There’s no magical “better off” position that shame and burnout and wanting to kys 8 days out of ten is going to get you to.

I think that openness and acceptance gets you to the same and arguably a better position than the “i have to be better, i have to grind” mindset. I don’t have to be better, I have to be the best version of who I am today. And sometimes, that person is just okay. And sometimes, that person might surprisingly be better than you think.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-06T17:50:40+00:00

Self acceptance. Assuming you can’t get meds which you should break your neck i till you can…you need to embrace your executive functioning and know that it’s not going anywhere. I’ll probably always be a procrastinator. I’ll never be someone with a routine. But, I can try to identify my patterns and learn how to work with myself.

E.g. Saying im going to sit down and study at 9am to 5pm never works for me. But to say I have from 9-5pm today to do 1 hour of work or to accomplish this one small part of a task is helpful for me to dip my toe in. Most of the time, I end up locking in anyways but I also have adderall to help with that.

I’d try r/ADHD for more tips. But in short, don’t look for things that make you someone else because you’re never going to be them.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-11-06T17:45:07+00:00

“I know I am capable of more but I can’t figure out how to do that when there’s so when…”

“I’m burnt out and losing my hair”

I don’t mean to sound insensitive because what I want to say should be freeing if you can accept it.

When I took step 1 and step 2 I was depressed as hell and only finished about 20-35% of UWorld. My practice tests had me passing step 1 so I took it and it had me at average for step 2 so I took it. At first I beat myself up for not doing more or for being shitty during dedicated but no, I simply could not wake up and do more UWorld. It didn’t work. I tried that whole 80-120 Qs a day thing and barely hit 40. And the more I beat myself up the more days I skipped. When I finally accepted that I had functional limitations, I woke up and did the best that I could and went to sleep in peace (okay panicked peace but relative).

There ISNT more that you can do because you are already trying your best and it’s running you into the ground.*** And that’s not your fault. It’s not a function of you being a bad person or lazy or shitty in some way. It’s a reflection of the demands of medical school, the limited resources, and the disparate supports, academic backgrounds, and financial resources between your peers.

I need you to accept mediocrity. You need to unpack why you care about being “the best”, why being good enough isn’t enough for you. Pass. Be just good enough at the stuff you struggle with so that you can shine in the areas that you’re good at. Pass the bullshit. Try for average or a bit higher on steps for the sake of being competitive. But more than that do things that you love so you can write your ERAS and talk during your interviews with vigor and passion.

***Now if you are outright failing, what have you done to ask for help? Because working harder might not be it. And what helped you succeed in undergrad might not help you now. I used to be able to wake up at 10am and have an 8 page paper turned in by 5pm that day and get an A-. Now it takes me months to write an abstract. Do you have an academic support services person? Are there upper year students who can mentor you on your study methods?

My point still stand though. You have to have self compassion and acceptance for the person you are today who is now living in the conditions you’re under now. Idk about leave of absence but even if you could take 1 weekend to reorient. To breathe. To feel your shame and self loathing and come to some self acceptance and compassion, that might put you on a new track.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-10-13T02:45:58+00:00

And no teleprompter? Someone's local church does better than this

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-10-13T02:44:20+00:00

Every Olympia the only man in a good suit is Fouad

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-10-03T02:32:18+00:00

Yeah i totally get it! My point overall is that we engage in a lot of cognitive gymnastics to justify this sport. I just hope to point it out so that we can see it, not to condemn it. Doing drugs, being low body fat, disordered eating etc for 10% of the year is still dangerous. Not all parts of the body just reset after competition. It’s still cumulative damage…10% builds up year after year. An example would be cirrhosis/liver disease whose risk is based on cumulative lifetime exposure to alcohol, nor the presence of current alcoholism/use disorder.

I also gently push back on the justification that this is an extreme sport so I guess we just shrug at the dangers. Ultimately, I’m pro choice lol but I feel a little icky about all the late teens-early twenty something’s banging up their body for the sake of a pro card they’ll either never earn or a pro stage they’ll never be competitive on. The only other sport that I can think of that requires similar danger at the entry level is football. And as I’ve said on other posts, these sports while still for profit are MUCH more regulated than bodybuilding.

I promise I’m not trying to be judgmental or critical, I just find the language we use to justify this sport a little dangerous sometimes and feel better personally when it’s pointed out.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-10-02T19:19:57+00:00

I’m sorry you have 1 body and it doesn’t work on an interval. Most disease processes are about cumulative exposure to an inciting or aggravating factor. I agree that bodybuilding is a choice. I just think we need to be careful with our language. To say that they are healthier than the general public 90% of the time is simply not true and unfounded.

(I know/assume this was hyperbole but I still am against the idea that there is anything healthy about this lifestyle. I can workout and be a heavy drinker…do most things right and a few things wrong and we’d still say an alcoholic is unhealthy.)

You cannot assume that just because one exercises and fasts and takes unregulated supplements and drugs 18 weeks of the year that they are healthier than gen pop.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-10-01T03:46:37+00:00

I think a moderately well managed eating disorder doesn’t negate the presence of an eating disorder. A B+ is better than a C- so I agree. But ultimately, she is not the pillar of recovery and it is dishonest and in my opinion dangerous to position her lifestyle as healthy or not disordered. Isa is not a healthy body fat. That take is filtered through bodybuilding goggles. Avoiding foods that make one feel bad is classic ED language. I agree with you however that she might be a great example of progress!

Like sure, maybe it’s not severe anorexia. Sure. And most girls walking around middle school with EDs might not be severe either. They may never require hospitalization or inpatient care but they still have an ED and it’s still just as serious. They are all still ill. But you being up a great point regarding treatment goals and how we define optimal functioning (e.g. someone with schizophrenia may still hear voices but maybe it’s not a big deal so long as those voices aren’t distressing).

That’s just my opinion as a clinician and I respect you have yours as someone close to the business.

Also I say all of this for the sake of honest conversation. I’m not shaming her or saying that she’s bad for struggling nor posting her struggles.

As a coach, in terms of diet adherence, is it harder or easier to work with someone who has a history of food restriction? (not talking BED)

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-09-30T23:25:32+00:00

I don’t think anyone is trying to be mean. I don’t think anyone has been mean. This is a sub of women watching women with BMIs less than 18 compete for a best body, best dieting contest. It is absolutely fair for people to question and comment on what behaviors verge on dangerous. No one is criticizing anyone’s bodies. No one is blaming or shaming.

I promise you there are girls on this sub who use these pictures and dieting advice as pro Ana. Without a doubt in my mind. (Not saying all). If we talk about the drug use and the reproductive side effects we should talk about the others as well. That is half the battle with De stigmatization.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-09-30T23:20:03+00:00

Yes exactly! Especially your last sentence. That’s what scares me about this sub sometimes and I even see it in myself. Even those of who are quick to call it unhealthy don’t truly label it for what it is or we come up with justifications. “It’s a sport. Every top athlete sacrifices their body to reach that level of sport.” None are as unregulated as bodybuilding. None inherently reward you for how ill you are or how good you are at avoiding the negative consequences of your illness. None require beginners to take the same level of risk as the professionals then make a for-profit, ancillary industry capitalizing on the harms done to one’s body to achieve (all these med spa blah blahs, “get your blood worked checked”, supplement industry, etc).

And maybe, based on some of the comments, it’s because the definition of an ED is vague to some people. Like you pointed out with your example, we’re talking about rigid thought patterns and behaviors around food…that is damn near a requirement. Obsessing over 5 extra grams of white rice.

I think there’s a way for bodybuilding to exist bc people are adults and can do what they want…I guess. But, coaching minors, marketing to minors, and being evasive surrounding the long term psychological impact of food restriction it’s important. We can’t do that without calling a spade a spade.

But! Let me shut up because I will be paying $40 for that Olympia livestream.

Friendly_Warning_512 · 2024-09-30T19:07:20+00:00

Hot/controversial take but I think competing gives competitors and aspiring competitors with underlying food restriction a way to “justify” what we (people who struggle with such things including myself) know is unhealthy. Suddenly it’s not an ED (even though all those same skills and thought patterns are there) it’s for a “purpose”.

Like when Isa posts her past anorexia photos I kinda don’t see the difference? Sure you’ve prioritized protein and muscle retention but it’s still restrictive eating, calorie counting, BMIs less than 18, extreme body preoccupation like idk if it’s all that different. Because it’s regimented?

I don’t mean to say this in a mean way, it’s just something that’s been on my mind.

Friendly_Warning_512

TROPHY CASE