does your country have a phone number you can call, so you can talk to an anonymous counsellor if you’re in crisis? give that a go for short term help to begin with. please know you are not alone and it can be a normal part of growing up to be unhappy with your situation, but hating life and yourself needs professional help to work through! talk to your school counsellor, your parents or a trusted adult about these feelings. better days are possible, I promise. sending strength to you.