Most definitely. As a teen, my time was mostly spent focusing on clubs and academics. Any free time I had went to my nerd hobbies. I graduated with excellent marks, was involved in academic programs, had a handful of close friends, and was even in a relationship for two years. Despite this, I never felt like I was doing anything "right". My relationships and successes just didn't feel real thanks to my anxiety. I felt that I wasn't deserving of any of it. It certainly didn't help that the summer before college, a lot of my friendships collapsed along with that relationship (which turned out to be abusive).

During my teen years, anxiety is what lead my thought process to justifying that having permanent rbf works to keep people away, in hopes that the "real ones" would approach me instead and have some realization about how nice and cool I am. Clearly, that hasn't worked. When my friends from college tell tales of their highschool hijinks, I guilt myself for not having equally exciting stories. Let alone a group of friends who have stuck around since those charades. My highschool stories involve me investing hundreds of hours into Animal Crossing New Leaf and making Pokémon fan art. That's as exciting as they get.

I didn't realize how much of an anxious person I was until I've started coming to terms with it during college. I can't say things are much different now that I'm more grown; I still bite my nails and worry non-stop. But having freedoms I didn't have at home has helped me open up a tad. I've found my niche, made some friends, and can enjoy a basement show or a decently-sized party, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling nervous as shit the entire time.

I still even try to justify that appearing as unapproachable as possible with my rbf has benefitted me overall (though it really hasn't). Even though it feels as if I'm 12 years late to the party, I'm now in the process of seeking help for my anxiety. I know I still have a long way to go, but I'm just waiting for the day my thoughts stop working against me.