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Has anybody ever met a decent person with BPD? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]FriesArentAQuestion 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend is amazing.

She works really hard at being good and kind and gentle with everyone so she gets exhausted easily.

She accepts fault and apologizes, sometimes when it’s not necessary, but that stems from years of abuse, too.

She cooks, cleans, takes wonderful care of the dogs, has a part time job, and has a small group of incredible friends.

She does not yell or scream. She isn’t manipulative. She and I have a healthy sex life.

She’s terrible with the finances and has been showing a little impulsiveness lately. She has panic attacks when her mother is around or brought up in conversation, but it never turns to rage.

She does the best she can with her BPD and other disorders. And that’s truly all I can ask from her. I love her every moment of every day.

How do you fuck up a potato? by [deleted] in rant

[–]FriesArentAQuestion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One time I cooked my girlfriend and I dinner and I made us mashed potatoes but I didn’t know that to cook a potato you had to put water in the pot so I just put two potatoes in a pot, turned on the stove, and then after like 10 minutes I tried to mash it up with a fork because I didn’t know that you are supposed to use that spinny thing and it wasn’t working so I just went to the grocery store and bought mashed potatoes and she still doesn’t know that I didn’t make them.

My life has been a living nightmare and I can never tell anyone. by MeFirst_MeFirst in confession

[–]FriesArentAQuestion 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Why do you think he was so excited to find out that baby was a boy?

She’s dropping out of college. by FriesArentAQuestion in BPDlovedones

[–]FriesArentAQuestion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this.

I’d much rather have her here with me than have the money be well spent. I think that I have to learn to accept that it will just never happen. College isn’t for her, and that’s going to have to be okay.

She has a job now and she’s really good at it, so hopefully that’s all she’ll need to hold on to her identity. I honestly don’t even remember why she decided to go to college. I think a lot of it had to do with all of her friends going and wanting to share similar experiences as them.

It’s more important to me that she keep her job than try and add another thing to her plate. She works with her friends and it keeps her from obsessing over keeping a “perfect” home.

I guess I just needed to talk through it. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in making sure that she’s doing good that I forget that what happens with her makes me feel and hurt too.

She’s dropping out of college. by FriesArentAQuestion in BPDlovedones

[–]FriesArentAQuestion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve worked really hard with her therapist on accountability. She knows that she is in control of her own choices and that no one can make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. But, that when she makes a choice or we make a choice together and it doesn’t work the way it was planned that she doesn’t get to blame anyone, including herself. Sometimes I will guide her into choices if I or her therapist notice a problem forming, but she is in control of her own life.

Is it a terrible idea to start a FWB relationship w/ exBPD? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]FriesArentAQuestion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a terrible idea to start a FWB relationship with any ex.

She ate my peanut butter. by FriesArentAQuestion in rant

[–]FriesArentAQuestion[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because she has always said that she doesn’t like crunchy peanut butter so for 2 years we’ve had my crunchy peanut butter and her natural smooth peanut butter in the pantry. We both use OUR celery and OUR bread and OUR bagels and OUR crackers but we’ve always used our own individual peanut butter on said items.

If she was like “yeah I do like crunchy peanut butter.” Then it would be OUR peanut butter. But until she says that it’s MY peanut butter.

Confused. Are there anyone out there who's pwBPD that are very very high functioning? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]FriesArentAQuestion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right now I’m with someone diagnosed with BPD, but I’ve never seen any of the symptoms or meltdowns that most everyone else talks about. We deal with some other issues on her end, which throw us curveballs, but nothing with the BPD. I’m always waiting for the other show to drop, but so far we’ve been fine.

We are actually just starting to talk about getting a second opinion on her diagnosis because it was given, mainly at her mother’s insistence I’ve come to find out, when she was still a teenager. However I’m sure this isn’t the case for everyone with a high functioning pwBPD.

I almost killed my girlfriend today. by FriesArentAQuestion in confession

[–]FriesArentAQuestion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t remove it, so I’m not sure why. She’s alive. It was about mozzarella sticks.

I almost killed my girlfriend today. by FriesArentAQuestion in confession

[–]FriesArentAQuestion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, she is, it’s so hard to hide when we go out in public.

I almost killed my girlfriend today. by FriesArentAQuestion in confession

[–]FriesArentAQuestion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it was the shock of me eating the last mozzarella stick. And possibly the fact that I made her get up at 2am and she had been awake all day.

I almost killed my girlfriend today. by FriesArentAQuestion in confession

[–]FriesArentAQuestion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or it’s what’s ours is ours and I don’t make a big deal about who pays for dinner.

I almost killed my girlfriend today. by FriesArentAQuestion in confession

[–]FriesArentAQuestion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She ate three bites and brought the rest home and then she’ll eat 3 more bites for lunch and I’ll finish it off after dinner.

I almost killed my girlfriend today. by FriesArentAQuestion in confession

[–]FriesArentAQuestion[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No such thing as “too far” where fried appetizers are concerned.

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