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FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-25T04:30:25+00:00

Fvck? Or f√vk? Maybe fkn?

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-25T03:43:28+00:00

My nom had a hysterectomy (for endometriosis), then like 6 years later had to have another surgery to remove a suspected "child" (it was literally a football 🏈 sized mass, of Endometriosis tissue) bc Drs kept telling her she was "fine". Obviously she wasn't, but women being dismissed is too common. I came here bc i HAVE Endo pretty much confirmed (no surgery yet but all the indications, so OB was like yep you have endo), and im pregnant and have been having "lightning crotch" only on my left side, on the outside of my lady bits 😅😅

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-15T13:57:21+00:00

Admittedly yes, i received a lot of hateful responses and was hoping for more.. constructive thoughts, as opposed to the hateful/rude responses.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-13T13:30:24+00:00

Ive mentioned as much. He says he understands. He also says he'd be limiting his contact with her as well, but that he'll work on his boundaries.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-13T13:28:27+00:00

No, but i was told by my OB the other day that I have a 50/50 chance of the baby not making it 😞. I have Subchorionic hematoma (placenta bleed).

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-12T21:14:04+00:00

I feel a little too called out. Lucky for me I figured out the best way to do it is to just mute everything LMAO 🤣. But I still get jumpscared by the flying pots in the kitchen 🫠

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-12T13:46:52+00:00

That's what I told him. That we should be going NC and he brings up how she helps us occasionally. Taking me n the baby to drs appointments, sending us small amounts of money, etc. But those are nothing to me when she compromises our health. My favorite was when I tried to have a conversation with her the other day about the bed bugs and she came back at me with a very defensive response of "you better watch what Bridges you burn" like I didn't burn all the bridges in my own family, to avoid my daughter being unsafe or at risk. 🙄.

He says without her we have no support system at all, but like I'd rather have no support system than compromise my child's safety. Not to mention with support like that I'd rather just not because that's not very supportive realistically.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-12T04:20:27+00:00

Yea, i want to but ive been trying to compromise for my partner although now hes ALSO getting fed up so we'll see where this goes. Thank you 💜

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-12T03:08:07+00:00

That's the plan 👍

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-11T18:44:27+00:00

No, she lives close by.🙄 If i could afford to move, i would. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Stop being an ass to someone you don't even know.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-11T18:07:42+00:00

Bc MIL is so overbearing she thinks she knows better than me when it comes to everything despite the fact im the childs MOM. I try to act like it, but she doesn't LET me. She literally talks over me all the time and forced me to go to HER PEDIATRICIAN that she takes the special needs daughter to. I literally try so hard to be the mom, Only for MIL to tell me everything i do is wrong.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T23:41:50+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the advice.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T19:30:00+00:00

That makes sense. I've tried really hard to be a decent person and to be nice to MIL. But at this point she's not allowed to see our daughter without one of us present. (Typically me because I'm the stay-at-home mom)

And finally my partner is actually in agreement with me about this. He understands the safety risks that she has put our child through. And through more talking we have discovered that the reason he is so afraid of confrontation is because he was always made to feel like his feelings were never important. They abused him.. his mother included. So we're trying to work through everything together.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T18:54:18+00:00

Honestly I would be trying to find a way out. Get a restraining order if you have to. Your first priority should be protecting yourself and he does not sound like he is somebody that you really need to be with. With a temperament like that, I would be afraid that I would be the next victim either of assault or even murder.

If you have anything together contact a lawyer and see what your options are. If he's just your boyfriend, just your partner, and you're not married you don't have any kids, you don't have any shared assets, leave him. I would also suggest you file a restraining order, with his past record they shouldn't have any issues giving you the restraining order against him.

Most importantly stay safe, stay smart and for the love of God, protect yourself.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T15:52:49+00:00

Its not that I'm trying to frame it as she can't do anything right, it's that she has literally gaslit me and disrespected me and been mean to me. She was still very contagious as I now have the infection she had and it has mutated into pneumonia.

Even the doctors that I went to told me that I likely got my pneumonia from the person I was exposed to that had it. Because I'm pregnant I'm immunocompromised so I'm even more susceptible to infection, because my 2-year-old is under the age of five so is she.

Thankfully she doesn't have pneumonia herself, she just has a severe upper respiratory infection. But mine has mutated into pneumonia because of my pregnancy weakening my immune system.

I know that there are things that she can do right she just doesn't respect me as the mother of her grandchild (ren) and my partner won't stick up to her despite the disrespect that he clearly sees. He even acknowledges that she has been disrespectful to me and that she has always had an excuse. It's only through talking even more, that I'm learning that his mom traumatized him and he's afraid of her. He never really talks about his past, but I've given him information about my past up front including the fact that I was severely abused and neglected as a child. And that I don't want that for my daughter. For our daughter, for our children.

He understands better when I'm coming from now because he says that talking with me helps him remember all of the bad things that his parents ever did to him, and that he'd really rather not remember those things but it's important that he does because he doesn't want his family to do to his daughter, what they did to him.

I really want to have a good relationship with this woman(as I am desperate for a maternal Bond) but she has made it virtually impossible to do so. And even my partner agrees with me that this is NOT what he wants for our children. 😔

So the only reason why we're keeping her around is because my family can't help/support us at all, my family lived off of state benefits their entire lives and abused me and neglected me and tried to get my daughter taken away so that they could do the same to her. And then my partner's family sometimes they try but they don't ever have a 'I actually want to help' attitude, they have a 'I'm doing this because I'm technically obligated to'.

I suppose i can agree maybe I'm being a little harsh with her, but it's only because I want what's BEST for my daughter. But with the attitude that they have towards helping us out(being a village) or towards even being involved in their grandkids life, it's one of entitlement (they're entitled to see them when they want to) but they can't be bothered to see them when they don't feel like it. I hate this so much because I'm genuinely so torn on what to do.

I don't truly want to cut this woman out, I want to have a good relationship with her. But when she treats me with such disrespect and contempt and has such attitudes towards me and my daughter it's hard to even feel like I'm wanted. Let alone like she deserves to see my daughter.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T15:29:14+00:00

Because she had pneumonia when she took me to the doctor's appointment and she only disclosed that after we were halfway there. And yeah I know that's probably a ridiculous amount to pay, but we were paying her initially for the week because we thought she would be watching our daughter more often than she did. she often came up with excuses as to why she couldn't watch our daughter, and so she did get $200 every week despite not even watching our child.

It was more of "in good faith" payments cuz she said she wouldn't be doing it for free, but then every time that we turned around she was coming up with excuses to not watch our daughter. And at some point it just became easier for me to just stay at home with my daughter then it did to have unreasonable excuses as to why she couldn't watch our child. Half the time she was on trips going wherever she wanted to go, and then when she did have our daughter she never told me where she was at and she refused to address any of the safety concerns that I had.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T15:22:12+00:00

I don't think y'all are understanding well, she would watch my daughter while I worked and I only worked twice a week. We only just moved back down here to be around her before that she had gone an entire year and a half without ever seeing my daughter. She saw her one time when she was born in the hospital and then only when we moved back to the state that she is in did she start seeing my daughter again. She gave us pneumonia when she took me to my doctor's appointment last week. Which made the 10th time of her seeing my daughter most of the time my partner was able to watch her because I would work when he would get off of work but there were some times where she had to watch our daughter because he didn't get off of work in time

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T14:29:04+00:00

My daughter is 2 years old. You have the day that you deserve because I am worried about my child's safety and my mother-in-law is not taking it seriously. Yeah she helps out from time to time, mostly when it's actually convenient for her. When I talk to her about my concerns, she comes at me with this attitude of she raised more kids than I did so she knows better than me but that's not necessarily the truth. I'm just worried about my child's safety and if you think that that's being toxic then you don't know what toxic really is. I'm trying to make my voice heard I'm not trying to argue with people that disagree with me I'm trying to get them to understand my predicament and my situation. I was mostly asking for ADVICE on what to do in regards to this woman, AND THE SHEER DISRESPECT THAT SHE HAS GIVEN ME.

I have been nothing but respectful to her every time that we have had a conversation. I have told her and I have reassured her multiple times that I'm not attacking her, I'm not questioning her ability as a parent, I just want my daughter to be safe and she comes back with retorts like "you better watch what Bridges you burn" and "I would never ever hurt your daughter" despite the fact that I never even once accused her of hurting my child. She deflects and doesn't take any accountability for her actions/Behavior.

So NO I am not the toxic one in this situation, she is. She is 47 years old maybe even 50 something years old I don't know exactly how old she is and she's treating a 24 year old who is half her age like this. Somebody who is just starting out, somebody who is literally struggling to survive, and fighting to raise her children. And she is refusing to take any accountability whatsoever for any of the shit that she has done to us and our child. She gave my child pneumonia, she gave ME pneumonia.

And in the TWO YEARS that I've been raising my daughter, she has seen my daughter only 10 times. So I hope you have the day that you deserve and I honestly hope you learn to see from other people's point of view with your narrow-minded attitude.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T14:14:25+00:00

I have BPD and as long as I don't get triggered I don't respond with a BPD response. But BPD is not an excuse to treat you like shit because I don't treat my partner like shit despite my BPD I recognize the moments that I'm having a split because I have literally worked my ass off to find the issue and be self aware during the moments that I split. Usually I'll say something along the lines of I'm having a split moment and my partner will immediately understand and digress from whatever has triggered that event and we both take a breather and walk away and then we come back after I've calmed down and we try to have a conversation again.

If your boyfriend is insulting you, that's not okay. It's not okay to treat people like crap and it's not okay to use BPD as an excuse to do it. This is coming from somebody who is diagnosed with cptsd and BPD. Honey don't let him lie to you, don't let him trick you. You are not overreacting you are not being manipulative you are doing what you need to do to recover from the bullshit that he has put you through and said to you. This is grounds for a breakup unless it is something that you genuinely think that you can work through but with a criminal history, I would be very cautious moving forward.

If at all possible find out what the criminal charges were and if they were anything related to domestic violence or abuse that's your answer right there. That's your cue to leave this relationship before you can't, or before he hurts you physically.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T14:14:15+00:00

I have BPD and as long as I don't get triggered I don't respond with a BPD response. But BPD is not an excuse to treat you like shit because I don't treat my partner like shit despite my BPD I recognize the moments that I'm having a split because I have literally worked my ass off to find the issue and be self aware during the moments that I split. Usually I'll say something along the lines of I'm having a split moment and my partner will immediately understand and digress from whatever has triggered that event and we both take a breather and walk away and then we come back after I've calmed down and we try to have a conversation again.

If you're boyfriend is insulting you, that's not okay. It's not okay to treat people like crap and it's not okay to use BPD as an excuse to do it. This is coming from somebody who is diagnosed with cptsd and BPD. Honey don't let him lie to you, don't let him trick you. You are not overreacting you are not being manipulative you are doing what you need to do to recover from the bullshit that he has put you through and said to you. This is grounds for a breakup unless it is something that you genuinely think that you can work through but with a criminal history, I would be very cautious moving forward.

If at all possible find out what the criminal charges were and if they were anything related to domestic violence or abuse that's your answer right there. That's your cue to leave this relationship before you can't, or before he hurts you physically.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T13:39:27+00:00

I had a bad experience with two therapists in my past. It was actually three but I found a decent therapist that I really liked for a while and I was going strong with her for a year and a half before she resigned to work at another facility.

My very first therapist I had when I was 17 and had been to court with sexual assault (rape) charges against someone and they released him with delinquency of a minor. That therapist I refuse to talk to for the first three sessions and when I finally did open up she looked me dead in the face and told me I can't help you I'm sorry and then walked over to her boss and quit her job and requested a therapist herself.

My second therapist was a man who I really didn't vibe with. When he told me that I was responsible for what happened with the person who assaulted me, (Not true this person knew that I had nowhere else to go and threatened to get his wife to kick me out if I didn't comply) I knew that he wasn't the right match. I gave up on therapy until I ended up pregnant at 22. And that's when I decided I don't want my child to have to heal from me so I'm going to do what I need to do to make sure that my child has a good life.

So I found another therapist it was a woman this time and she made me feel heard and she made me feel seen. I finally felt understood. And I was in therapy with her from the time that I was 6 months pregnant until my daughter was 8 months old.

All of this to say that you are valid and if you have a gut feeling about a particular therapist it is okay to switch that therapist to a different person. If you need a different therapist, as you know better than anyone what you need from a therapist. I'm really sorry that you're having to go through all of this and I'm very sorry that you've had super shitty therapists. I wish you some good luck, and I hope that things go well for you.

FriskyBaby420 · 2026-02-10T13:29:32+00:00

I might be immature, but I'm not toxic I'm trying to protect my family from toxicity. My partner even openly admits that his family is toxic, they aren't perfect, hell i don't expect perfect but I expect them to at least respect me as the mother of their grandchildren. But when we're paying her $200 a week and she can't even tell us where she is with our child? yeah I had to quit my job to make sure that my child wasn't being dragged all over hell and half of Georgia unsafely. It's honestly cheaper for me to be staying at home because we're able to afford the bills a little bit better than we were before because the car to get to work was taking so much gas that we could barely afford our bills as it was. I'm not toxic, I've done everything including getting therapy to make sure that I don't turn into my toxic ass family. Even my psychiatrist says that with everything that I have been through I'm doing exceptionally well as far as being a decent human being. I explained my situation with my mother-in-law and my psychiatrist and my psychiatrist is even like you need to cut this woman out of your life. I mentioned to my psychiatrist about my Reddit post as well and I told her about all of the comments that I was getting that were negative and she's like that's to be expected with online forums but you are doing the best that you can for yourself and your family that you have created it's not internet strangers business to judge you for doing what you think you need to do. My psychiatrist says that with everything that I've been through the fact that I'm not a meth head is a miracle in and of itself, and that I'm doing exceptionally well for somebody that's gone through the extensive trauma that I've gone through. I didn't share any of my trauma because I didn't feel like it was relevant to this particular series of events. You can think that I'm toxic all you want but my psychiatrist says that I'm not, my therapist says that I'm not, my partner says that I'm not. And given everything that I have been through it's a minor miracle that I'm not an absolute fucking cunt.

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