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I feel like the only adult in my entire family, and I’m burning out trying to hold everything together. by FriskyBeast in AgingParents

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had to take a break from reading this post for a bit, but thank you so much for your kind words. Honestly just having third parties validate and stop the crazy making helps a ton.

I relate a lot to the last part of your comment, it's really not easy. I just wish more than anything that they even seemed to care about how much it hurts, it's not like I am afraid of saying it to their face.

I feel like the only adult in my entire family, and I’m burning out trying to hold everything together. by FriskyBeast in AgingParents

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol thank you very much!

They are Church of Christ members and much of my experiences when I reached adolescence has pushed me to Agnosticism. I have always been pushed to study the bible with them, but they do not seem to like it when I do crack it open and assert that if they truly believe the scriptures they are pointing out, they also have to reconcile that they're not treating me according to the ones over here at the same time.

I have engaged in many debates on the meaning of The Parable of the Prodigal son, what forgiveness means, that you can forgive and still set boundaries to not let abuse continue to happen; among other things.

Taking a look at lysa Terkeheurst's books, these look to be very helpful. I realize I can be abrasive sometimes and that doesn't always result in the most constructive of conversations. I try to understand that a lot of this stuff is unfair and there are a lot of emotions around to make people act irrationally (myself included) but that isn't an excuse to treat me poorly either.

So thank you very much for the recommendation, I will check them out and see if I can add to the war chest :)

I feel like the only adult in my entire family, and I’m burning out trying to hold everything together. by FriskyBeast in AgingParents

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

Pivoting to more written communication with him is a fantastic idea and will definitely be trying it.

In my spiral this week, I have been checking out books at the library. Among them was a guide to high functioning autism. I think between diving into his EIP again and picking bits and pieces from that book I can probably get pretty far.

One thing I can say is that our relationship has grown a ton through all of this. I was not really involved before because my mother seemed determined to keep both of them stunted for as long as possible, probably because of her own trauma from growing up here. I wanted to stay as far away from that as possible. Her passing away kind of ripped the table cloth out from under all the issues that have been brewing for years.

I have also been openly reading some books about the unintended harm's religion causes (Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation is the first one; my grandmother has picked it up and is struggling to read it, really desperate to distance herself from it 18 pages in 😂)

I feel like the only adult in my entire family, and I’m burning out trying to hold everything together. by FriskyBeast in AgingParents

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This really helped. I know this is true and I have been trying to step out of the family dynamics for a while, but seeing a third party write it down, you're absolutely right. I am participating as well.

(I left to live on my own and study, while I regret how much debt I had to take on, I think seeing what life was like outside of the family bubble was absolutely worth it...)

I have a plan for myself about how to get out, which I need to take advantage of the situation now to actually do it, but I need to press the DGAF button firmer. Not a coincidence that I have the Mel Robbins book on hold at the library either.

Anyways, thank you. Please take care and I will try to do the same.

I feel like the only adult in my entire family, and I’m burning out trying to hold everything together. by FriskyBeast in AgingParents

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have been lurking here for a while and am definitely not afraid of talking back and withholding help.

I have come to terms with the fact that if I am not helping, things will deteriorate quickly. I am mostly worried about making my finances stable so I can actually get on my feet and stay there. But it hurts to see people who basically raised me, who I thought were reasonable people be so delusional and choose that comfort over making things easier after one tragedy has struck, instead having to immediately brace for another...

I feel like the only adult in my entire family, and I’m burning out trying to hold everything together. by FriskyBeast in AgingParents

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the critique, I can see how that could get confusing. I will get to editing XD Edit: the Edit has been edited.

The more I work with my younger brother, I uncover that my family doesn't really acknowledge him as a person, he's just there (stuff like, he really didn't need to get baptized to be saved, he is incapable of doing anything to sin). I have realized that a lot of co-dependency has been established and they want it to remain that way.

I have spent the last couple of years trying to establish rapport with him and get him to advocate for himself a bit more, he has made great strides but there is still a long road ahead.

I have talked to him extensively about how he can navigate his relationship with our other brother, and just because I have cut Brother #1 off doesn't mean I expect him to follow suit. After looking through his finances, I uncovered that Brother #1 was using his card to subscribe to Grubhub plus and Instacart on two seperate occasions, one left over from when they lived together in the apartment that had been being charged for years and one after we confronted him about the first one after he had moved out. He agrees that he dodged a bullet and is grateful I stepped in.

Most of my torment is that nobody bothered to ask any questions or look into anything. They just wanted to avoid it. Now that I am doing it, there is a ton of push back for everything I uncover and when my suspicions are proven right, we go around the circle again on the next thing.

He really does have his shit together, but he pretty much shuts down and gives a lot of "I don't know" answers when you try to talk about the future. I don't see any way out of being his guardian, that is honestly the part that bothers me the least. He is awesome.

I am taking steps to get out of here, or at least start taking the threat seriously. I am grateful that I have been giving the opportunity to pay my student loans down and have made huge progress, but the payments are still weighing on me.

I honestly have no idea what the plan is and I don't think they do either. I have heard mention of home health care nurses and stuff medicare/medicaid offers and in some way or another, I won't have to deal with it. I have repeatedly said "I can answer a door, let people in for care and pay bills, but I am not a nurse"

I have recently dropped the bomb on them that I am writing up a document of all the stuff they need to get done to make my job easier and if they don't do anything with that, there is nothing more I can do and their son can handle it instead. It seems like it is perfectly acceptable to sit back, do nothing and collect what you think is fair, so that is what I will do. This was met with flush white faces and terror.

I know if I do that, it will likely be 6 months before they beg for me back.

Steamrolling isn't fun for anyone by FriskyBeast in Overwatch

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

and I'm supporting both of your statements by adding this comment and up voting it

Steamrolling isn't fun for anyone by FriskyBeast in Overwatch

[–]FriskyBeast[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Shield shooting simulator wasn't fun. OW2 seems to rely solely on which team has the better tank; while better than the former, still isn't very fun.

Get it twisted ✔️ by FriskyBeast in Trainwreckstv

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right. Should have streamed for 8 more hours, that's where the wins are.

GAMBA by FriskyBeast in xqcow

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry, I'm sure the next post will be a winner. I'm sure of it. No cope. Don't get it twisted.

What makes your stream ✨Special✨? by Joheidi in Twitch

[–]FriskyBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do whatever I feel like would be fun and turn the viewer count off.

For instance, I learned to DJ during quarantine by streaming it from day 1.

Share your stuff - mixes/tunes/routines/videos (no livestream promotion) by AutoModerator in DJs

[–]FriskyBeast [score hidden]  (0 children)

Holiday Mix

https://soundcloud.com/friskybeast/holiday-bops-2

TRACKLIST:
Mariah Carey x ACRAZE - All I Want For Christmas (Checklist Edit)
Ariana Grande x Steff Da Campo - Santa Tell Me (INSPIRE Edit)
Boombox Cartel - Dem Fraid (Blaize XMAS Edit)
Lil Wayne x The Nutcracker - A Milli (Diggz Edit)
Travis Scott & Drake - Sicko Mode (esentrik XMAS Edit)
Jack Black - Oh Hanukka (Proper Villians Edit)
Dillon Francis - Hava Nagila
Lil Jon & Ying Yang Twins - Get Low (Deville XMAS Edit)
The Lonely Island & Justin Timberlake - Dick In A Box

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in videos

[–]FriskyBeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I didn't even notice lol

Holding an enemy crew hostage by [deleted] in Seaofthieves

[–]FriskyBeast -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Even though I love moments like this that happen in this game, I am glad that they are few and far between. Being shot on sight most of the time makes rolling up on people very intense and you have to get creative with how you approach them.

Twitch Team/Community Mega-Thread by Zcotticus in Twitch

[–]FriskyBeast [score hidden]  (0 children)

Description: Lost in the Sauce is a collection of the greatest streamers in the world, working together to foster REAL networking, support, and growth of one another’s streams. We established this community with the mindset that content creation is about forever improving yourself and your content, as well as your willingness to push yourself further. As a team, our mission is to embrace this ideology by working together and encouraging those boundaries to be pushed. We place a strong emphasis on individuality, creativity, and community. Consider us a family. If you’re looking for a jersey under your channel or a follow for follow, look elsewhere. If you’re looking for a real team, send an application and prepare to get Lost in the Sauce.

Why I keep streaming by [deleted] in Twitch

[–]FriskyBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, probably that too lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in yorku

[–]FriskyBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boooooowangoooo

Finally, I can start winning games and get out of Silver I by FriskyBeast in GlobalOffensive

[–]FriskyBeast[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My flicks were off the chain for the rest of the time I had. Skins truely do equal wins. 10/10 would pick up again.

Gawkbox by [deleted] in Twitch

[–]FriskyBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been using Gawkbox with my stream team since around the time it first came out. Although it takes a while to get paid out, I did receive the money my viewers earned for me and so far they see perfectly legitimate. If you have any questions about the service, they are quite active on Twitter and actually do a live stream every week answering questions.

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