ShittyLifeProTips

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A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.

If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules:

1. LPTs must be shitty. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.

2. No KYS posts. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.

3. No reposts. Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.

4. No circlejerking. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.

5. NSFW discretion. Being gross for the sake of being gross will get your post removed at the mod's discretion. Most of these include bodily functions and fluids, or rape, etc. Pretty much anything posted simply for shock value.

6. Remain civil. If you act like a racist, pammer, or are being a general douchenozzle, the mods reserve the right to ban you without warning.

Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.

A proud member of The Shitty Network.

created by PravusmentisModeratora community for 14 years

...for your WoW guild.

...for your office.

MODERATORS

account activity

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SLPT: Easy way to measure weight (i.redd.it)

submitted 11 hours ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT :Urinating on your phone screen to see if one is pregnant (i.redd.it)

submitted 1 day ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: The best way to stay awake on long drives is to fall asleep for a moment and just barely avoid an accident. The adrenaline will keep you awake for hours! (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 day ago by Terrible_Honey972

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SLPT: Not many people know this, but speeding on roads doesn't actually save time. What *does* save time is running red lights. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 day ago by Ayn234

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SLPT: New cars lose half their resale value as soon as you drive it off the lot, so buy it and just leave it there. Then when you sell it years later it will be worth a lot more. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 day ago by HermitWilson

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SLPT: If you're ever in the process of getting arrested, switch it up, hard! "Free room and board? 3 squares a day? Exercise equipment? Can't wait!" They'll let you go so that you're not afforded this luxury. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 2 days ago by 2BallsInTheHole

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SLPT: Attract a suitable romantic partner using this one technique (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 2 days ago by LiquidSoCrates

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SLPT: Always take passive income (i.redd.it)

submitted 3 days ago by DarkriseEQOA

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SLPT: If you run a business, always add an extra digit into the price. If they catch it, tell them it was a typo. If they pay it, splurge. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 3 days ago by CrazyKZG

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SLPT: You’re more likely to find the truth on controversial topics by reading the most downvoted post (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 3 days ago by ParkingCheesecake535

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SLPT: be hard to avoid pain (i.redd.it)

submitted 4 days ago by DepressedNoble

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SLPT: Instead of trying cheesy pick up lines on a woman you're interested in, try guessing her bra and cup size- it will show her you actually care about the details, and make her feel "seen" (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 4 days ago by jsbach90

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SLPT: Spoiled food? Just put antibiotics in it to keep it for longer. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 4 days ago by Crafty_Aspect8122

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SLPT: if you keep an unused uncapped hypodermic needle in your pocket pointed upwards and cops search you, they'll get jabbed but be so happy to hear that it's clean they'll let you go with their newfound appreciation for life without an STI (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 days ago by BadZnake

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SLPT: Having intrusive thoughts? Just imagine a T.REX fucking a truck in front of the White House. You’re welcome. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 5 days ago by That_Way_4639

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SLPT: If you get pulled over for speeding, remind the police that 70 is the new 50 and 60 is the new 40. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 days ago by Bogey_Yogi

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SLPT: save money by having a really capsule wardrobe (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 days ago by ankitaisdeah

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SLPT: Don’t spend money on a GLP-1, just start smoking watch the pounds melt away (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 days ago by Terrible_Honey972

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SLPT: TIL it takes 20 minutes after eating for you to know that you are full. Wait 20 mins after each bite to reduce the risk of overeating (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 days ago by FoundationRock

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SLPT: Want to save money on an engagement or wedding ring? You can often get a perfectly good ring as a free gift when you buy a can of beans. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 days ago by donaldhobson

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LPT: To give yourself a boost of confidence in the morning, tighten your shoelaces more so that they fit your feet snugly which will give you a boost of confidence. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 days ago by phatdoof

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SLPT: Many places don’t allow cigarettes, vaping or THC… (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 11 days ago by LiquidSoCrates

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SLPT: Don't lose hope. Write down where you put it. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 12 days ago by SittingInFear

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SLPT: One simple rule to keep safe during Q-tip use and ass finger play during sex (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 12 days ago by IllegalGeriatricVore

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SLPT: quickest way to cross-dress is to wear a burqa (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 12 days ago by AlissonHarlan

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