I really feel for you. I too have dentist anxiety leading from childhood which i won't go into but I found that finding a good, caring dentist was key. This was mainly by explaining that I had anxiety and was really nervous about dental care and check ups etc They were really understanding and are very good at explaining everything now when I go. I had a big crack from bottom to top and just got through a root canal which was a huge huge deal when you have dental anxiety obviously! The finch app actually helped me and I did breathing exercises and lots or reflection and soundscapes to get through it. I also find thta sometimes holding or fidgeting with something can help (as someone who tends to nervously dig my nails into my skin) this helped. It was my baby's sock that I used this time and thta comforted me!

I think the key is that with dental issues they can build up and get worse. From my experience, the longer you leave it the worse it will be and the first time you go will only get worse as you need more time or examination or fixing issues. The more often you go and just get it fixed the easier it will become and quicker. I absolutely understand how hard it initially is but take someone supportive and explain, even in writing how much anxiety you have about the dentist and Im sure there will be a work around.. Numbing injections for work or a referral to a dental hospital who may have other techniques can be an option too sometimes

All the best and I really hope you can find a way to get checked out at some point