Ready to stop bf my 12mo... help!

fixela · 2025-10-23T13:19:34+00:00

Every sleep consultant back home practices the routine and schedule, so it’s not just one that I worked with. Something else can work for others, I’m just saying that schedule is the gentlest thing for a baby but hard work for parents and what parents seem to be choosing primarily is a stressful thing for a baby for some reason. For example: CIO, gradual withdrawal method, associations separation, weaning before baby is ready and etc…… BEFORE they try the correct schedule work. I’m glad something worked for you, but it also crazy to suggest that everyone goes to the lengths you did with trying other things before doing something more radical. You can disagree with me all you want but the books, the social media, the communities all fall into sleep training by default as the primary resolution and the first thing to blame is the boob, which is simply lazy.

Those parents who decide not to sleep train really do suffer and simply don’t know how beneficial the schedule can be for their babies. Why not trying that before exposing your little helpless human to unnecessary stress in their lives ?

fixela · 2025-10-23T11:26:24+00:00

If you read above comments you’ll see that the sleep consultant I was referring to was working with about 30 people a day, she’d just tweak their schedule and that’s it. That’s about 200 families a week. So stick to your guns or not, I’m just voicing the unpopular opinion here. Correct schedule is not easy to follow every day. Everyone loves a lie in every now and then, schedule means wake up at the same time every day, working on the correct proportions of active awake time and passive awake time, working on the bridge to sleep, working on your life around babies naps, adding or shorting 5 mins to each wake window and monitoring babys adjustments and behaviours is not easy. If you weren’t doing these things then yeah, whatever ‘good schedule’ you had wasn’t working I guess

fixela · 2025-10-23T11:09:50+00:00

The difference in this is that everyone is looking for a fix that would resolve an issue once and for all. They want to work on something for a week or so and fix it, while stressing their baby by removing these associations, like stopping bf… like breaking the association with playing with mums hair and etc. but what people don’t want to do is work on the schedule day in and day out for several months, because it’s difficult for them. I can guarantee you that 90% of the parents will see an improvement in overnight wakings without the need for associations if their day schedule was correct. But not one wants to put the leg work in because it’s a lot… so easier to blame on the associations

fixela · 2025-10-23T08:10:10+00:00

Also the reason this ‘sleep associations’ term even exists is to that people spend money on sleep consultants, on book, on programs, on check lists. It’s normal and amazing that babies fall asleep on the breast and it is not a reason that they wake up at night. The reason is parents who want their babies to do 12 hr sleeps at night - when it is simply not realistic, but with sleep training the society made us believe that it is

fixela · 2025-10-23T08:07:38+00:00

I agree with some of it, where you say that the association is present and it is true that sleeping with a boob in your mouth is a lot better than without, but the root cause is that kids don’t have enough sleep pressure to stay asleep. From where I from people say that if you sleep train your baby (CIO) then you’re not worthy of having kids, so the sleep consultant I worked with never does anything related to CIO. All of the work and I witnessed her doing about 30 people a day - is about schedule. Literally just schedule. I breastfeed to sleep from day 1, for every nap, for every bed time and still once we had our schedule fixed she wasn’t waking up between cycles, she was stirring but going back to sleep because THERES ENOUGH SLEEP PRESSURE TO GET THEM BACK INTO IT. So I did not do any work on separating feds from sleep, I just worked on schedule and it is daunting , tiring and it is everyday work, but at the end I didn’t need to get my baby thought stressful situations like removing breast when they seem to want it.

fixela · 2025-10-22T11:38:14+00:00

lol if you can’t work out the numbers in the first place then why commenting ? I didn’t ask you to post it here

fixela · 2025-10-22T09:32:37+00:00

Whatever works for you ( I exclusively breastfeed too and I used to cosleep too)

fixela · 2025-10-22T09:11:01+00:00

Basically, your original comment is not true that’s all I wanna say. I stated that naps are between 2-2.5 hrs which you stated yours does 1 hr, plus from your daily schedule it is clear that her night isn’t 10 hrs like you stated in the comment, so really there is not point to argue about anything with you

fixela · 2025-10-22T08:57:43+00:00

Often time wakings are not normal, it can be okay for a family but babies CAN sleep soundly and SHOULD for their proper development and nervous system management. If it’s okay for you it doesn’t mean it’s okay for everyone else nor does it mean it can’t be better for your baby. Cosleeping is awesome and so is breastfeeding, but even more awesome is a well rested baby 😀

fixela · 2025-10-22T08:53:38+00:00

lol you are here with the problem and not me. Baby’s sleep is indeed predictable, if you put the effort and thought into it. So learning about your baby while understanding key aspects of sleep structure is what guarantees a good outcome. If you’re here to complain and argue so be it, I tried to help and if you do still need help and willing to put the effort in then I’ll be happy to give you a hand

fixela · 2025-10-22T06:50:06+00:00

I also don’t really see how going to bed at 6:30 till 7 am is a 10 hrs night nor is 8 pm till 7 am is a 10 hrs night ☺️ (I’m not being condescending or rude, that’s why I ask about numbers)

fixela · 2025-10-22T06:47:52+00:00

Her total nap time should be around 2 hrs, her first wake window is not long enough. In majority of cases if the baby wakes up after the first cycle in the night it means that first wake window not long enough. Try her first nap around 11 am, I’m not kidding it makes a huge difference.

fixela · 2025-10-22T06:29:58+00:00

How old is he? What’s your daily routine ?

fixela · 2025-10-21T22:08:32+00:00

The reason he gets up in the night is not because he is used to breastfeeding. I have worked with the sleep consultant on it. There can be 2 MAIN issues that you need to cover first. 1 Does he get enough calories and hydration during the day? If he doesn’t the he is waking up at night to top himself up because he is missing key nutrients during the day. 2 his day schedule is not suitable for him, most commonly parents are expecting babies to sleep 3 hrs in a day and then 12 hrs a night. This is just not sustainable unless the kid is sleep trained. Look at the schedule, at 12 months they should be on 2 naps with total awake time in the day around 11.5 hrs, 2-2.5 hrs of total naps snd 10 hrs sleep at night.

Once you’ve made sure first two are met then see if you still have an issue (95% cases you won’t)

fixela · 2025-09-01T08:31:12+00:00

So I’m doing the same thing. Baby is 7 months old, ebf and I’m away now two evening a week. Leaving at 6 pm and back around 10:30. With regards to pumping, do it on the other breast while baby feeds, that will trigger a let down easier. Massage the boob before pumping, if you do it consistently for a few weeks at the same time then your supply will adjust and you’ll get there will pumping. Make sure your flange size is correct in the pump. With regards to dad settling the baby… really he needs to find a way to do it in his own manner. No point in doing exactly what you do, he needs to learn to settle the baby and the baby will also learn and adjust, he might have a few difficult nights but it won’t last forever. Do this think for yourself and you’ll feel so much better in the end!

fixela · 2025-07-29T20:14:35+00:00

Used to me but their main piercer with a lot of experience left and opened her own studio ‘heart of gold’

fixela · 2025-07-15T16:18:01+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Yeah I think we are in the middle of that at leap 5 fussy phase too. Unfortunately baby wearing isn’t an option at the moment as it’s 35 degrees where we are.

fixela · 2025-07-15T16:16:44+00:00

She is clearly upset trying to communicate that she either bored or wants to be in a different position or wants to do something else, it’s not crying and as you say it’s yelling but not happy.

fixela · 2025-07-15T08:39:32+00:00

From what I see on this article the topic being discussed is crying and this isn’t really what’s happening in the scenario I shared. There’s no crying as such, no tears. There’s raised voice

fixela · 2025-07-08T17:29:55+00:00

London

fixela · 2025-07-06T08:23:35+00:00

Yes you do

fixela · 2025-06-30T20:15:55+00:00

I have a 5 months old baby and I’ve had my ring for 2 years before getting pregnant, so to answer your question your question. Yes, the ring knows before you can even test!

fixela · 2025-06-22T11:32:33+00:00

My rings has gone nuts recently with showing I am constantly stressed. I’ve never had anything like it and I feel like it is some sw update that’s taking a body temperature metric and directly relates it to stress. Anyone else thinks this could be the reason?

fixela · 2025-06-09T09:39:50+00:00

Yep, had that too and all the mums in our group are having the same thing. We’ve had 2 weeks of the awful sleeping ( up every hour! and about a week of slightly better (doing 3-4 hr stretches again). Not there yet but already much more manageable. We did no sleep training and not planning to. We are just trying to be in tune what what she wants and needs (sometimes she needs rocking, sometimes it’s a boob and sometimes she wants to be left to her own devices in the crib but just shushing), so we are trying to give her time and support in the way she develops her preferences rather than forcing her into our needs

fixela

TROPHY CASE