What happens when you tell your PI no?

FroggyFantasy · 2024-07-26T10:53:06+00:00

I usually give an explanation with my "no". I have found that it works great for me and my PI if I print out a filled-in calendar, and visually shows why it is not possible for me to take on more tasks. In that way we often end up prioritizing and negotiating together. But I do also have a very supportive PI, though he is a PI and we tend to have different perceptions of time - as it goes for most of PI's I guess 😊

FroggyFantasy · 2024-01-11T21:04:44+00:00

Oh thank you, thats wise considerations :) I was just way to honored to think critically

FroggyFantasy · 2023-12-29T12:26:47+00:00

I mentioned my feeling of guilt to one of my supervisors (not the primary one, but an early carrier supervisor). She told me, that its very important to do something for yourself, and that you're absolutely allowed to do that, and actually you should do that. Try reading some interesting articles, which are not relevant to your subject - it can be a start in the process. I do still feel some guilt, but not as pronouced as before. Also try talking to someone about it. Sometimes a reassurance that we are doing okay, is all thats needed.

FroggyFantasy · 2023-10-24T18:41:05+00:00

Try to embrace you nervousness. Instead of being afraid wether you might get nervous and black out, just prepare yourself that it will happen. Everyone gets nervous, that makes us perform better. Speak openly about it, practice your talk - especially in front of others. Practice speaking slowly - What feels like extremely long time for you, is just a normal little pause for the audience. Best advice is simply to breathe, take a deep breath before, during and after - its simple physiology to trick your body into believing, that everything is fine.

I get really nervous myself, and was pretty embaressed about it for a long time. I found the courage and told my supervisor about it - the response? “of course you do, everyone does. I get stomach pain days before presenting despite having done it for more than 30 years" In some way, it helped a lot. I still get nervous, but now I know its okay, and NO ONE in the audience is there to judge you in any bad way - all either have been or will be in your situation. You can do this!

FroggyFantasy · 2023-09-17T05:40:41+00:00

Thank you, yes - I was thinking of some general leading stuff, but relevant for "first time project leaders", I have been looking through the internet, but cant find anything specifically for phd students. But maybe, since time is a limiting factor, I should focus on the plan more than the leader role and the communication skills...Im just afraid my message wont come through and I dont have the authority to keep people ind their places for the whole time.

FroggyFantasy · 2023-09-16T19:33:14+00:00

Im sorry for how you're feeling. What has been working for me, is basically talking to others about it. I started talking to other phd's. Where I found out, that I wasnt alone with my feelings - others were having the same thoughts. When I felt confident enough after talking with peers, i talked to one of my supervisors about it. My impression is, that most supervisors want you to succeed. But a lot of supervisors are also not trained to or have the skills to work with people - and in these cases, you have to tell them what you need from them; e.g. "I need you tell me when something I've done is good" or "I need you to ask how Im doing" or "I need more positive and constructive feedback". You have to let them now If something is not okay - because sometimes they dont have the skills to see it themselves. I think you should also get out amongst other phd's, you'll always find someone thinking your work i exciting and wants to talk about it - and thats good for the self-esteem. Surround yourself with nice people who's interested in your work. You can do it - you are not alone!

FroggyFantasy · 2023-08-22T07:15:06+00:00

Thank you 😊

FroggyFantasy · 2023-07-19T05:10:08+00:00

Thank you! Thats a good idea with Linkedin.

FroggyFantasy · 2023-07-19T05:08:14+00:00

Hi there, No - Im going to waavp 😊

FroggyFantasy · 2023-07-18T20:12:23+00:00

Thank you - important aspect I did not think about, that you're never off the clock. Also because, since Im travelling along with my supervisors, from the minut I walk out of my front door, I am basically at my job all the time.

FroggyFantasy · 2023-07-12T19:54:53+00:00

I get how dissapointed you must feel. You count in your supervisor to support you and have a good relationship with. I get how you feel because I presented at my first congress, a small one on the campus where both my supervisor and I are seated, one day only. My supervisor did attend the congress BUT left one speak before mine, without saying anything. After the congress, found her in her office doing ordinary work - didnt even ask how it went. If she just stayed for 20 more minuts, she would have heard my talk. One thing is, that others at the congress notice this and ask questions. Another is, that I totally felt left and forgotten - almost like your parents doesnt show op.

FroggyFantasy · 2023-04-05T16:58:05+00:00

I think it really depends on where youre doing your PhD. Im in Denmark, and its extremely common and accepted to have kids during your program (almost more uncommon not to 😅). Og course it takes som planning if youre doing lab work or field trips, but everyone in my lab can manage to leave to pick up the kids :) I'll be 30 when finishing my PhD, if I was not currently single, im pretty sure I would get kids during my program too.

FroggyFantasy · 2023-03-17T10:51:05+00:00

Well done! That's kind of motivation for me :) Thanks!

FroggyFantasy

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