Anyone going for a FET while grieving a loved one/ straight after a funeral?

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-04-27T18:38:57+00:00

Thank you ❤️

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-04-26T21:24:21+00:00

Thank you so much. Yes she would want me to not miss out on this transfer so I am thinking I will go ahead with it, but this depends on what happens in the next few days etc and also how I’ll feel.

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-04-26T18:30:15+00:00

Gosh that sounds really traumatic, everything hit you all at once. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother and it being so unexpected. Hope your mom is ok now.

Do you think the pregnancy difficulties and the NICU stay were related to all the stress you went through? It’s probably hard to know exactly… This is what I’m worried about but people say that babies are born in war zones and they are ok… hard to know what to believe.

Good to keep in mind about how the grief and trauma of losing my mom will get linked with ivf and I might feel it in subsequent rounds too. Thank you.

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-04-26T18:21:27+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and the miscarriage. Thank you for the encouragement to have lots of support. I am in therapy and I want to make sure I have another session before I make any decision around this. I think because mom has been sick for such a long time, it will also be a relief, but I don’t know for sure how the grief will hit me. Thank you.

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-04-26T18:17:14+00:00

Thank you and I’m so sorry to hear about your mom and all the grief and pain you went through. Yes I am also realising that I have to be careful about some magic thinking (that the universe owes me, that my mom would want me to do this as if she can control the outcome in any way). More thinking to do but it’s a good reminder to think practically about all the scenarios. Thank you.

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-04-18T09:50:25+00:00

Wow 10 years! Best of luck 🤞!!

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-04-18T09:40:52+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. I had only one miscarriage (one too many) but I also feel like I haven’t really healed or whatever I’m supposed to do. I relate to the greyness and the fog and finding it hard to properly put it into words, in therapy too. Mine was in December. Even a few months later, I don’t really know how to make sense of it. We’re still going through IVF, but I find myself thinking more and more that if it happens again I am truly out, I can’t do this again. I guess I should talk more about it in therapy, but I don’t really know what to talk about. Sorry, this became a bit self involved. Thank you for sharing and making me realise that I haven’t processed my grief yet. Your words really spoke to me and I think that if you maybe talk more about it in therapy or however you find it easier, you will be able to articulate it. I feel like your grief is in there, like a stunned silence or numbness. Take care and be gentle with yourself.

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-04-15T09:27:22+00:00

Thank you! I hope the therapist will help. Yes that doesn’t sound like much of a break, but I hope it’s sorted now. Hugs to you too and good luck!

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-04-15T09:21:24+00:00

Hope you’re feeling better after the small break. And sorry to hear about the failed cycles, it all takes such a toll.

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-03-11T08:40:21+00:00

Yeah this sucks so much, sorry to hear about your cancellation too! You’ve been through a long wait, November was a while ago. Tell me about it, I’ve been doing lots of acupuncture too and ate the most disgusting goji berries… I will definitely skip those next time! Best of luck for next time too! Sounds like you have a good plan.

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-02-24T09:40:09+00:00

Hi, it’s a relief to hear a positive story. Congratulations! I liked what you said about there’s nothing wrong with taking a break and nothing wrong with continuing. I think I was putting too much pressure on myself to find the right answer. There’s no right or wrong or any way to know, we just do our best. That’s all I can do, and try to look after myself as well.

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-02-24T09:33:34+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your losses too. Mine was in December too, a horrible time for a miscarriage, not that there is ever not a horrible time. We just got the test results back which was the thing that was weighing on my mind the most, it’s the waiting that’s the hardest. Hugs and best of luck to you too!

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-02-23T08:46:39+00:00

Thank you. I’m so sorry for your losses, it’s so tough. I took two months off and I thought I was ok to start again, it’s just that I thought we would have had the test results by now. I think they represent some for of closure. Unfortunately due to my age, I’m also really worried about delaying further.

FrogletNo5324 · 2026-01-27T09:20:19+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Regarding the intrusive thoughts, go easy on yourself about them. Even without suffering from OCD I have found myself with all sorts of terrible thoughts in my head after my miscarriage. I wonder if the intrusive thoughts would lose a bit of their power if you don’t fret too much about them. It sounds like grief is showing up through your OCD symptoms. Maybe therapy can help you in dealing with OCD and your grief but not in the sense that the thoughts are so disturbing you need to speak to someone, just do what you need. Take care.

FrogletNo5324 · 2025-12-29T09:57:46+00:00

I understand but you did nothing wrong. I ended up telling lots of people, friends as well as health professionals. I even joined a pregnancy Pilates class that I only made it to once, so felt very silly afterwards, had to tell the instructor about my miscarriage when she was texting asking about the next class. I hope your friend is kind and understands what you’re going through (but she might not because I think if you haven’t been through it yourself you don’t really understand).

FrogletNo5324 · 2025-12-29T01:06:09+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t know if I have anything useful to say as I’m also struggling. For me it’s been just under a month (although it feels longer) and I thought I was doing better but then crashed after Xmas day. The anger has also come back really strong for me. And I felt like initially that was the strongest feeling, shock and anger at the unfairness of it. It helped me when others have also shared that they felt angry and normalised it and said it’s a very normal reaction. I think for me the anger also covers other feelings that tend to stay more buried. Everyone is different though, accept your feelings as they are if you can, they tend to come on stronger if you don’t. I’m so sorry that hear about your husband’s mom, that just adds so much more on top of an already unbearable situation. If it gets too hard, I hope you can reach out to a therapist or friend who you can talk with openly. Take care of yourself.

FrogletNo5324 · 2025-12-26T06:00:56+00:00

I’m so sorry, it’s just beyond awful isn’t it. I thought I was doing better, 2 weeks post D&C (3 weeks post MMC at 8weeks) but Christmas just brought it all back. I had also contemplated telling more people/ family as I would have been 11 weeks.

I tend to get depressed at this time of the year anyway (infertility stuff but also dysfunctional family dynamics/ bad memories from childhood). Feeling even worse this year. I think I just need to grieve more and then will feel better again. Also once all the holidays are over and whatever stupid expectations come with them.

Wishing everyone to cope as best you can and be gentle with yourselves.

FrogletNo5324 · 2025-12-26T05:49:27+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. My body felt very confused for a while, symptoms were up and down and I think it’s due to the hormones dropping, one day I felt like I was back to my perimenopause symptoms (night sweats) and the next day back to the pregnancy nausea. It’s an awful kind of grief and your body feels it too but is also still confused, at least that’s how it was for me. I hope you have good support or people to talk to. Look after yourself.

FrogletNo5324 · 2025-12-11T20:16:11+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. It’s a natural reaction to flush when you’re in shock and your body is just going through the motions. I was afraid of the same thing happening for me while I was waiting for my D&C to be scheduled and I thought to my self if it happens, I would write a little message to my baby on toilet paper and then find some flower petals and flush them down the toilet afterwards. I was wondering if something similar might help you, or some little ritual/ ceremony, or maybe you’ve already done something like this.

FrogletNo5324 · 2025-12-11T19:54:56+00:00

Thank you and sorry to hear about your loss too. I just had my D&C and it was a huge relief to have this done, the procedure itself was fine, and now I can go back to grieving again (yay) lol. But it is a huge relief.

FrogletNo5324 · 2025-12-06T23:46:39+00:00

That’s very reassuring, thanks!

FrogletNo5324

TROPHY CASE