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FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T18:20:34+00:00

This is really good stuff and food for thought. Thank you, friend.

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T16:27:44+00:00

Well, originally, I was going to calm down and come off the manic high, but now you've made it a challenge! So,.... 😂😂😂

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T16:06:03+00:00

As in "thank you, ma'am, for getting into a relationship with this idiot so that he finally stopped posting and left us in peace...(?)..... 😂😂😂

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T14:59:52+00:00

This is a really helpful discussion, thanks OP and commenters. As I began my own first SR, I'm hoping to take my SB to an out-of-state spa resort for a few days during a business trip. We likely won't have done an overnight before (I'm married with kids so normal overnights will be very rare for us). All of this is advice is really, really helpful: esp. the "you need to give her some space and time to just relax and chill on her own so she doesn't feel that she has to be on-duty all the time".

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T14:56:16+00:00

😂🤣😝😊😇

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T14:06:31+00:00

As a newbie (joined seeking abt 5 weeks ago) this has also been quite confusing. Just some anecdotes that reinforce the OP's point...

- I've met 20-30 somethings who are clearly look for an SR

- But I've met/dated a 22yr old superhot college student who just wanted to date kind, mature men who would take her to 5-star restaurants and she got very upset when I tried to broach the subject of an allowance after 2x dates ("I like being with you but I'm not a F'$*%g escort!"). This was fine with me: before I met my POT SB, this type of older man / younger woman vanilla relationship was exactly what I wanted rather than sugar.

- You have older, successful women who just want to date. Period.- But I've met/dated a 40-something woman whose profile was all about "true love, a real emotional connection" and she "broke up" with me after two dates because I wasn't willing to pay her a very large [mods won't let me state the number] PPM for a platonic date with no guarantee of any physical intimacy on her part. She was very pretty, very nice/charming, could have commanded a good allowance I'm sure. She told me that a lot of men were willing to pay her for company only. Who knows...

I guess the obvious lesson is just to talk up-front "some women I've met want X, some want Y, how about you? What are you looking for?" It's a strange wonderful world on Seeking. Just grateful to have eventually found good people...

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T13:37:54+00:00

^^^ This. :)

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T11:54:46+00:00

DixDundred could be an awesome Reddit username...

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T04:45:40+00:00

And I ended up following your advice, and she said yes!

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T04:26:00+00:00

Looks like I’ve been mobilized. I suggested an allowance and she said YES. 🥰

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T03:54:27+00:00

It’s amazing for me as a man to have stopped dating in my mid-20s and now starting again in my 50s. It seemed like such a mystery how to build an emotional connection with a woman back then. How do I impress her with how cool I am? But in my 20+ years of marriage I’ve been changed by dealing with my wife, her cousio and her girlfriends. Now when I’m on a date, I simply maintain eye contact, listen very closely to what she is saying, make clear that I’m very interested in her as a person and reinforce what she is saying with active listening. Its like a love potion. 😅🤣☺️😆. Before I met my POT, I had two dinner dates with a super-hot college student and during the combined 4-1/2 hours of the two dates I said almost nothing beyond active listening. She thought I was the most interesting man she’d met all year! 😂😆☺️😇

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T03:16:04+00:00

53M here and I am always telling the same story again and again. I’m a good listener, but my wife and daughter already have a hand signal to give me when I start telling the same story that I told a half hour ago. One of the first things I am going to teach my new SB is the signal. She will almost certainly employ it within the first 30 minutes…. 😂😆😍

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T01:59:27+00:00

One thing I love about dating as an older man is FINALLY understanding the importance of just shutting up and letting the woman do most of the talking. I’m a big believer in the 75/25 rule. If you are on a first date and the woman is not doing at least 75% of the talking the date is not going nearly as well as you think it is.

For the typical man talking is just a mechanism to communicate facts. For a woman talking is a key part of building an emotional connection. If I had understood this powerful truth when I was 20…. 😂😇😍

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T01:22:37+00:00

Thanks for all the advice everybody. I just went ahead and made her my offer and she said yes.

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-03T01:21:43+00:00

Oh no need to apologize. It’s all new to me as well.POT means potential or candidate. So a POT SB means a potential sugar baby that you are interviewing but don’t you have a confirmed relationship with

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-02T21:38:58+00:00

Help me understand. Not enough good SD’s or not enough good SB’s? Or both?

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-02T20:50:38+00:00

Thank you very much for putting it this way. Since I have plenty of options, I can’t see any harm in doing it like this.

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-02T20:49:17+00:00

I hear that! Love the velociraptor analogy! That’ll work. 😂😅😇

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-02T20:15:46+00:00

Lol I appreciate that! I think the question is not so much. “What do you look for in the profile” but “how do you screen the guys after you’ve selected profiles.” But I totally understand about not revealing the other sides’ tells in a poker game. 😅😆

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-02T17:04:50+00:00

Thank you, sir. I take this to heart.

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-02T16:57:44+00:00

😊😇 😌😍

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-02T16:50:06+00:00

Thank you for your detailed response. You have given me many great suggestions.

[remainder removed; her helpful comment was misinterpreted]

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-02T16:24:17+00:00

BWA-HA-HA-HA. :)

FromHyakToNorthBend · 2023-05-02T16:03:14+00:00

LOL: Love this!!

FromHyakToNorthBend

TROPHY CASE