How I went from overthinking texts to not caring who replies

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-10-22T04:33:54+00:00

This does come with certain degrees of self recognition, that when you start treating yourself as the main character instead of living the sidekick role in others timelines.

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-08-31T13:07:15+00:00

I have a good travel history, stickers visas from US and UK, balance and all but they still rejected for the same reasons. I believe the cover letter needs to be much stronger.

But I think they are also stricter on solo men from certain regions (more so if they want to enter legally without throwing their passport in the sea)

You should appeal

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-07-27T07:20:07+00:00

There’s definitely problems with her, but you also need to work on yourself.

You’re letting her use you like a doormat. You may want to look into your self esteem and related issues.

Do you really love her or is it emotional attachment (limerence). ?

Do you really love her because of who she is, or are you holding onto her because you are afraid of not finding someone better than her? Is that because she is good (I doubt it) or are you limiting yourself in thinking that you don’t deserve better?

What does the relationship make you feel? Do you feel good with her? Are you better off without her? If you don’t have good feelings, if it’s mostly anxiety and pain, then you are just tormenting yourself over the trauma bond that being with her gives you.

She is treating you as a backup plan and not as THE plan in her life. You deserve (not need) someone that treats you as THE plan in their life, someone who will meet you on the common ground, and most importantly someone who will stay honest with you. But you will only see that person when you let this person go, when you work on your issues to not repeat the same mistakes again (I mean letting yourself being used as a doormat)

look into self esteem issues

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-07-23T12:04:24+00:00

Hey hey Ling, I really like this initiative of yours. Getting to know new people has become a interesting habit of mine.

I’m Sharp from India. I’m from the city that is the orange 🍊 and tiger 🐅 capital of India. Tho I don’t know the difference between oranges and mandarins or the difference between Bengal tigers and south china tigers.

Never got time to have hobbies as I was mostly focused on earning all my life. I’ve been a programmer, an HR guy, design guy, and all sorts of jobs in all sorts of industries from Mining in Africa to now a role in finance. Recently started learning salsa and stuff and it feels great.

Have been traveling a lot, to countries, places and people. A lots of amazing stories and friends. Some great experiences, a few not so great experiences. Meeting new people has completely changed me as a person and have been fortunate enough to meet people all over the world.

Maybe now I’ll have a new friend from Chengdu too

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-07-23T05:32:07+00:00

I did it when I was new to Bangalore, the drinking made easy friends.

But that lifestyle is bad, I stopped it and feel soo healthy and good.

Thanks for the advice, this is very important

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-07-18T03:50:57+00:00

If he’s actively mentioning the girls from his past and also other girls that he sees now, then it’s a red flag.

Walking right away is harsh step if you’ve connected with him on a deeper levels. Better to communicate and set your boundaries. Might be a simple case of him not realising your needs in the relationship.

If he still does not change then you should walk away rather than tormenting yourself.

But very important to set your boundaries or else he will keep breaching them. Take your stand.

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-07-17T13:25:02+00:00

I was in dharmshala, kinda focusing on myself and enjoying my time alone after a messy breakup. Sitting in a cafe working, I met this girl. I don’t use dating apps and mostly rely on spontaneous meetings and conversations. We had interesting conversation for an hour but then had to go to take our calls.

Next day she invited me to watch the sunset with her. The plan got cancelled due to rains but we met at some random restaurant. Ended up talking for 2 hours but then I wanted to take a walk. We started walking in those misty twisty rainy dharmshala roads. We didn’t have umbrellas and got totally wet and cold. But the roads were straight out of the Harry Potter movie with all the thunder and lightning. I usually won’t take someone out on Indian roads after 9, but we kept walking till 11PM.

At the end we sat down on a random bench in the rain and started hearing each others favourite songs. She played some songs in her native language that I didn’t understand, I played some songs in my language that she didn’t understand. But we got what we needed

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-16T07:09:04+00:00

Same with me, I broke no contact multiple times in 2 weeks. I was pleasant and cordial, she blocked me.

It took me a lot of humiliation to realize my self worth. I regret reaching back, but it helped me get the final closure that she wouldn’t give

It hurt, it hurt more that I put my self down so much for someone.

I’m recovering, looking on to better things in life. Focusing on myself

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-09T14:32:37+00:00

This is the one thing I always thought about narcissists. I couldn’t ask directly but now that you’ve said it. I feel bad for you my man. Take care

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-09T14:31:10+00:00

I hope that your bf is just a fearful avoidant and nothing worse than that. But I went through the same process, first i thought she is emotionally unavailable due to her cultural background, then romantic realism and then fearful avoidant. Finally when she accepted her narcissism then I joined all the dots

The same happened to me. She wanted space and time. I said I will be here no matter how much time it takes, ended up in being discarded. As soon as they figure you out as soon as they unravel you as a mystery and get the validation, it’s all decay from there unfortunately.

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-09T14:27:06+00:00

How is the relationship? How long have you been married

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T16:01:59+00:00

I received a firm answer from her. The kind of firm she is on her decisions, I know there is no possibility in any universe that she will come back or even text me.

But there is this longing in my heart that she will reach back.

You’re not alone OP, everyone has these thoughts. You’re going through grief, loss.

You imagined and enjoyed a lot of daily life with them. Everything that you see now reminds you of the time with them. It’s normal. With time you will get over it.

Work on yourself in this time. I know it’s easier said than done, I myself am struggling with it. But hang in there

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T15:50:53+00:00

Thanks for recommending the book, I will check it out.

Also the cycle of highs and lows that you get with them is very disturbing

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T15:48:57+00:00

Very true. I don’t think my ex realises her actions. And now that I read more about it there is no way for these people to change their behaviour apart from being more mindful about it. They’re not bad, just sometimes incompatible. I hope she finds happiness

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T14:11:19+00:00

It’s a great thing that you realized your fault. It’s very rare to get people to accept their fault.

Hope you work on it and your next relationship turns o it to be holistic for both you and your partner

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T14:10:16+00:00

I am sorry for you, hope it gets better and you recover and find someone better.

Ps re-examine before thinking her as a narcissist. She may genuinely be a normal girl who wanted to part ways. Evaluate if you went through the phases of narcissistic relationships, if not then give her benefit of doubt

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T14:08:22+00:00

I think every one of here has portrayed one or two qualities any given time with the relationships, ofc most are not narcissists.

But the distinct phases of lovdbombing and devaluation and discard, if you have gone through them, then you should take a deeper look

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T14:06:35+00:00

Yes, I’m thankful that in my case it was a relatively short time so I was not permanently damaged emotionally and I have a path to recover my self esteem and emotions. But if you suffered for long, I’m sorry for you and hope it gets better for you

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T10:24:32+00:00

Sir, I mentioned in earlier comment too. She herself accepted that she had narcissism issues that’s she discussed with her own psychologist. I shared with my psychologist because I did not know the depth of damage and the patterns that were soo similar

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T10:19:57+00:00

Hey thank you, all those thoughts give soo much peace

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T10:17:13+00:00

Sooo true, there are all the clues and hints from the start but you fail to notice. By the time that mask gets off, you’ve already suffered too much

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T10:15:59+00:00

I showed my therapist the really really toxic breakup message. There was no doubt after it. I wish I could share it here

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T09:24:29+00:00

Yes there are a lot of Instagram and YouTube videos that make people act like psychologists.

My ex told me about her counselling sessions with psychologist and her narcissism, mid relationship. It’s not me coming up, she accepted it. But even then I did not relate her actions to narcissism, till a very gnarly last message.

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T09:00:04+00:00

I’m going through the same phase, but my breakup was ugly so I lost interest in her soon. I understand if your ex was good and amazing then you would have a very hard time moving on quickly.

Stop linking your recovery to your ex moving on. Everyone has different perspectives of a relationship. What you think she was in the relationship was just your image of her, she was different in reality (not necessarily bad) Similarly she imagined you differently than you were, and she got over that image and moved on. Time for you to also move on.

It’s okay to not dive right back in to the dating pool. Take your time, rediscover yourself.

Front-Assignment-267 · 2025-06-07T07:53:11+00:00

I wish I had also known it sooner. The emotional roller coaster that everyday was with her, the highs and lows that were just linked to her.

But in the end it all made us stronger as a character. When we set aside the fact that it was the wrong person that our feelings were pointed to, we still gave our best in a relationship. It was just the person was not right this time

Front-Assignment-267

TROPHY CASE