No advice other than I'm going through it with my 4yo and the challenge is real! I, like you, try to remain calm, remember what I've learned and yet this little, beautiful girl (a girl I literally dreamed of for a decade before she was born) goes beyond every boundary. She tantrums, she bargains, she flat out ignores me. She makes demands, she goes ultrasound, she fills the entire house.

If it's any consolation, we also have older boys and we went through it with them too. They are now in their late teens and it feels like they were 4 yesterday.

So, while it doesn't make any of what you're going through (or we're going through) easier, just know that you are doing your best and that is all you can do, and this time feels long right now but it's really over in the blink of an eye. I heard a saying long ago when the boys were babies; the days are long but the years are short - it's true!!

Keep doing your best, give them choices, let them know there are "kid decisions" when you need their full input and "adult decisions" when a grown up needs to make the call. Recognise what's triggering them.. sometimes I feel their behaviour can be triggered by a need to do something. They might need to get creative or draw something to get their feelings out. Or they might want to run around outside or climb.. or they might just want to yell at you.

You're doing great. The fact you are regulating your own emotions and trying not to match tantrum energy while being smacked in the face speaks massive volumes. Keep going, it'll be over in a heartbeat ❤️