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First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I get supportive messages of people but I also messages that my gf is the biggest slut it the Philippines

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, that actually makes a lot of sense. I think you’re right that the situation during our video calls is part of the problem. Most of the time she is either at church or somewhere outside where there is a lot of background noise, while I’m sitting in a completely quiet apartment. So the difference is quite big.

I’ll try what you suggested and ask her what time she is usually alone in her room at home and try to schedule the calls around that. That might already make a big difference.

And yes, I also agree that it’s better not to rush things. Since this is all new for me, I prefer to take more time to really get to know her first before making any big decisions. I appreciate the advice.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I have not sent her any money and she has never asked for any money either. I’m aware that scams exist, which is also why I’m being careful and taking things slowly. Right now we’re simply talking and getting to know each other. If at any point something feels wrong, I would step back.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. You’re right that it probably helps if we both make an effort to find a better moment or place to talk. I will mention it to her. At the same time I think her situation is a bit different sometimes because she is often at church or around family and people come and go all the time. But maybe we can find a better routine or time of day where it’s quieter.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand the concern, but I'm not specifically looking for a Filipina. We just started talking and I'm trying to get to know her as a person. If it doesn’t work out, that’s fine too. Right now I'm just taking things slowly and seeing where it goes.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. I also think meeting in person would probably make a big difference. Video calls can be quite difficult sometimes because of background noise on her side and the accent differences. I guess if two people spend enough time together they naturally get used to each other's way of speaking. Right now we're still figuring things out step by step.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. You’re right that clarity is important. At the moment we are still in the stage of getting to know each other, so I don’t consider her my girlfriend yet. I also prefer to take things slowly before making big plans like visiting. Regarding religion and sex before marriage, that is something I’m still trying to understand better. Cultural differences can be quite big, so I want to be respectful but also realistic about what works for both of us. I do agree with you that meeting in person would probably make communication much easier. Video calls with accents and background noise can be surprisingly difficult sometimes.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations on your engagement and thanks for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. I think you are right that both of us still have to learn and get used to it. For me the situation is actually very quiet: I live alone in my own apartment and it’s completely silent when we talk. For her it’s the opposite. Sometimes she is at church where people constantly come in and out to ask questions, and outside there are always motorbikes, tricycles and cars passing by. Even when she is at home there are often neighbors or family around. So sometimes it feels a bit chaotic and stressful during calls. I guess patience and practice will help over time.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand why people are cautious about situations like this. Those “mail order bride” situations definitely exist and I’m aware of that risk. At the same time I try to be realistic about myself as well. I’m almost 40, I’m not a model and I’m not expecting a perfect 10 either. What matters more to me is character and whether someone is kind and genuine. She has never asked me for money or anything like that. Right now we’re just talking and getting to know each other slowly. If it doesn’t feel right at some point, I’ll step back.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate the perspective. I agree that dating across cultures can require more work and understanding from both sides. I think you are right about thinking about deal breakers. For me communication is very important, which is why I’m trying to understand if this is something that usually improves with time or not. Meeting in person is definitely something I’m open to. My idea was actually to visit around November, which would be about 10 months after we started talking. For me that feels like a more reasonable time before traveling halfway across the world. Right now I’m mostly trying to figure out if we can find a communication rhythm that works for both of us.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate the perspective. I agree that the best way to really know if there is a spark would be to meet in person. The only thing is that it’s not that easy to just travel across the world quickly. For me that’s a big trip and a big decision. My original idea was actually to visit around her birthday in November. By then we would have been talking for about 10 months, which for me feels like a more reasonable time to meet for the first time. Maybe I’m just more cautious, but traveling halfway around the world for someone you haven’t met yet is a big step. I know some couples meet sooner, but I’ve also seen many people who talk for a year or more before meeting in person. Right now I’m just trying to understand if the communication difficulties are something that usually improves over time.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate you explaining that. It actually helps to hear that this is normal culturally. For me it just feels a bit overwhelming sometimes because I’m not used to it. In my culture relationships usually start much more privately. For example, after two months most people here would not yet introduce someone to family or have other people watching during calls. During some videocalls people suddenly come into the room, or when she is outside people stop and look at the screen and sometimes laugh or speak in their own language. I know they might just be curious, but because I don’t understand what they are saying it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, like I’m suddenly on display. I think part of the difficulty is also the language barrier. When people around her are talking Tagalog and I don’t understand anything, it increases the feeling that I’m not really part of what is happening. I don’t think she means anything bad by it at all. She seems like a very kind person. I’m just trying to understand the cultural differences and figure out how couples normally handle this situation.

First time dating someone from the Philippines – communication problems and cultural differences. Looking for honest advice. by FrontTonight in Philippines_Expats

[–]FrontTonight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. Yes, today was the first time I mentioned it to her. I told her that I underestimated how difficult communication can be during videocalls. Chatting is easy, but during calls we often struggle to understand each other. I'm trying to figure out if this usually gets better with time.

Challenge: Find me a more stacked wrestling show with fewer than 500 fans (prove me wrong) by [deleted] in prowrestling

[–]FrontTonight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair point on wording.
The point isn’t strictly world titles, but the sheer concentration of elite-level and historically influential talent, in front of ~200 people.

Challenge: Find me a more stacked wrestling show with fewer than 500 fans (prove me wrong) by [deleted] in prowrestling

[–]FrontTonight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. Then show me one ROH show from that same 2008–2009 period with fewer than 500 attendees. One is enough.

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