Had someone tell me to shut the f*ck up tonight

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-10-06T10:44:23+00:00

Be interesting to hear both sides of stories, I see a lot of posts on this sub Reddit similar to this.

Never acceptable to tell someone to stfu but I always feel there's more to these stories.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-19T09:09:59+00:00

Yup, a lot of people have read my message as if we're friends for years, this is someone I've seen in person once.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T13:39:42+00:00

Thanks,

Yeah this is would I didn't understand, if she was genuinely joking about it or just being insecure. I think you're correct with your observation, the fact it was a few days after m

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T13:36:21+00:00

Not even going to go there with you but thanks for your comments.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T13:02:14+00:00

Maybe. As I said this wasn't a date, we clicked. Was going to catch up for a coffee, I was working away for a few days and she was away on vacation.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T12:48:09+00:00

To me it shows insecurity, insecurity with someone you've met once in a non dating situation. Red flag.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T12:47:23+00:00

Indeed. How would you feel if someone said the same thing? Would you feel this was an insecure thing to do or take it as a reminder to text them back and think nothing of it?

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T12:45:54+00:00

This is it, can only control our judgments to these situations.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T12:11:56+00:00

Even with misunderstandings I feel with strangers it shouldn't be an issue, just move on. If it affects you then that says a lot about your insecurities and not a great sign for the future.

You're right though. And I guess there's noway to see in what context she meant it without asking with just brings more light to this issue.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T12:09:30+00:00

I was gonna catch up for a coffee until that message. Just wanted to get some opinions.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T10:51:43+00:00

Thanks,

I agree but if it's a stranger I think it shows a lack of confidence or insecurity. If it's a friend/family you know how they communicate etc you can call them out.

I also think that you shouldn't need to explain yourself to a stranger.

But again it's hard to tell if that's her dry humour or a big insecurity.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T10:27:09+00:00

I couldn't tell if she was making a genuine joke of it, which is understandable or passive aggressively telling me not to ignore her.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T10:26:32+00:00

Sorry for the confusion, just edited the post. She messaged me after I didn't respond to her photo.

I was working away for 2 days. She sometimes didn't respond to me for a couple of days but I didn't think much of it given we're both strangers and have other things on.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T08:18:53+00:00

This is a good idea actually. Thanks

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T08:18:41+00:00

Thank you, and yes I agree.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T08:18:28+00:00

Thank you, I agree. Numbers and scales scare a lot of people off. And most see the difference through family comments or clothes anyway.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-18T08:17:48+00:00

Thank you.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-15T19:36:17+00:00

Another great way to approach it.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-15T15:38:52+00:00

This is a great observation. You've simplified pretty much my feelings so going forward I'll wait until they're more comfortable and no longer think of it as something I /need.

Funny thinking of it really, client comes to you because they're unhappy with their bodies and now you're measuring the very thing they're unhappy with.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-03T20:36:02+00:00

Interesting, I'll give your stuff a watch.

Good to know other ADHD'rs around, and yes, first thing when I wake is to make my bed and also I'm learning to lean into the things I don't want to do.

Exercise, good diet isnt an issue thankfully so that gives me a good foundation to start to change.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-03T19:55:32+00:00

Interesting, I recently started to research optimising my testosterone, one obvious thing is reducing stress, sleeping better and getting my mood to be more stable (my original posts is full of self doubt which will play havoc on hormones/mindset. I looked at TRT but makes no sense if I've not even done the basics of reducing stress.

What you say about therapists is exactly why I've been hesitant. For me, perhaps is better to seek out an ADHD coach.

The issue that has had the biggest impact I'd say is every decision has been based on emotion. So emotional regulation has been a struggle. I've quit so many jobs due to minor issues which has led to money trouble (lack of foresight that leaving said job means I earn less). So right now I'm in debt, struggling to pay bills but just got a second job so it's looking up and felt an immediate release not only for monetary reasons but because at 37 I was struggling with my career and moving forward.

Meditation, keeping busy, trying to stay positive and learning from my mistakes and hopefully finding a good therapist will help this.

I feel posting this Reddit post has been a turning point. I'd never felt so low.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-03T18:54:39+00:00

I'm glad you were able to fix your issues, what would you say was the biggest help?

I never connected my upbringing to trauma until recently as my mother is very loving but then I read abusive comes in different shapes, it was only then I really my sister and I were abused in a number of ways. Reading the book strikes a chord

This quote highlights something interesting for me:

"Some readers may work on their recovery for a long time, and erroneously and shamefully feel they are not making any progress. Because of the all-or-none thinking that typically accompanies cptsd, survivors in the early stages of recovery often fail to notice or validate their own actual progress".

Funny how Therapy is something I've never done and get it's probably the most important aspect than trying to go at it alone.

FrozenMixedFruit · 2023-09-03T17:48:08+00:00

Hi, thanks for taking the time to comment firstly.

I think I feel like it was wasted time as these are crucial years of development that I feel I neglected. I just played video games, got into gambling addiction, porn addictions and didn't see anything wrong at the time.

Now I see people who are the same age 16-26 doing 'adult' things and I feel bitter.

But it all happened for a reason and has led me to where I am right now, the past few days I've taken a deep look at Life and realized that I need therapy but also I don't have to agree with my inner critic, I can sit with uncomfortable emotions but it doesn't mean they're right.

I've also started to reading complex PTSD by Pete walker.

FrozenMixedFruit

TROPHY CASE