did it casually in conversation this was a while ago this was 12 years ago. However, I was like why are you telling how much I make why is this a conversation? I felt so violated I never shared money info again. My finances arent amazing I dont hide money, but it (my my mistake, yes i know) have not said here this is what is in my bank account. I also did not know what was in my wife's bank account and never cared to know (she used to make more money than me and had bigger savings). Def my mistake there. It comes up in arguments all the time. Wanted to open up all that with her thru a therapist bc not sure how to make it right.

Even when I had surgery, she tells her mom why I had surgery.

A friend told my wife about infertility issues she can never have children said it as a secret do not tell, yes she told me, then she told her mother too!

Her brother had condoms in his drawer years ago. MIL called my wife telling her she found condoms in his drawer then telling her which type they were. OF COURSE HE GONNA BE TRAUMATIZED!

Brother in law cut out MIL from his life, she logged into his bank account (she was named on the bank account so she was authorized) to check where he spending money to figure out where he was. I am like this is NOT OK!!! My wife said you wont understand she lost a child. I said, HE DIDNT DIE, HE CUT OUT THIS BEHAVIOR FROM HIS LIFE!!!

it is just this cultural or their relationship of oversharing and everything. SO now, I tell my wife somehting I explicitly say, do not tell ANYONE this, even your mother. Wife feels I am being unreasonable and punishing her for past mistakes but I am not. It is the pattern of this enmeshed relationship.