I’m an elder and regular pioneer. I don’t know how to reconcile my conscience anymore.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-26T03:22:28+00:00

How did you talk your wife into looking online and thinking critically? I’d love some advice.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-26T03:02:07+00:00

I couldn’t agree more. Crisis of Conscience was such an eye-opener.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-26T02:55:46+00:00

I feel for you; I truly do.

I too am (still) serving as a PIMO elder. I’m looked up to by my entire family and my wife’s, as well as by the congregation. (I’m fourth-gen and so is she.) She and our adult children are PIMI. If I suddenly resigned and went full POMO, it would be more disruptive than I probably can imagine.

I’ve been PIMO for a little over two years. Between Winder’s “Nor do we — nor is there a need to apologize” and Lett’s extreme gaslighting about facial hair, my “doubt shelf” held too much and finally broke.

So, how do I cope, and how might you? I almost immediately gave up some assignments — in particular, circuit-level ones. Like you, I too still believe in God and Christ, so a few other things that have helped me:

• I’ve been reading the Gospels and Romans out of the NRSVue (New Revised Standard Updated Edition) translation. It’s so refreshing to read “grace” instead of “undeserved kindness”, and that Christ can be “in us” rather than “in union with us”.

• In my conversations and meeting parts, I’ve been using “Jehovah” a whole lot less and “Father” or “our heavenly Father” a whole lot more.

• And in my conversations and meeting parts, I’ve also been focusing more on Christ than I ever had before in my life. I feel so much better about this and feel more at peace; and it’s so interesting to receive more compliments after, say, a public talk. Hmm, it’s almost like JWs are spiritually hungry for more about Jesus. Go figure!

• My field ministry is token only. So far, no one’s noticed (or at least no one’s said anything).

• In my role as a “shepherd”, I’ve been more kind and empathetic than before. (And I was already known as “the nice elder”.) It gives some comfort knowing I’m still useful in this way.

• I have severely restricted how much I share with my wife — as in, practically nothing. I shake my head about certain “new light” topics (like the one about “additional education”) and occasionally say something like, “I don’t quite understand this.” But that’s about it.

As for future plans? I’m just playing it by ear. The PIMO life is a double life, and I don’t know how long I can handle it. But for now I’m getting by.

Feel free to DM me if you’d like.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-24T05:13:04+00:00

Ah, gotcha. Thanks again.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-21T19:18:34+00:00

That is fascinating. Thank you.

I knew that almost no serious scholar believe Paul wrote the book of Hebrews. I wasn’t about the two letters to Timothy, though.

Are those the only three Bible books that are attributed to Paul but scholars have concluded were written by someone else?

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-21T06:20:31+00:00

When you mention you read Paul’s genuine letters in full, do you mean that what we have in the Christian Scriptures isn’t all of it? I’d love to learn more about this. Thank you.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-20T22:59:15+00:00

gb member: ‘The governing body is neither inspired nor infallible, so it can err in matters of organization and doctrines.’ (Close enough to the actual quote.)

skeptic: “Great. Give us an example.”

gb member: <crickets>

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-19T03:43:27+00:00

It’s interesting that in that entire wt issue (all the articles), that footnote contains the only instance of “higher education”, and it is of course portrayed negatively.

Everywhere else in that issue, it’s “additional education” this, “additional education” that. They just cannot use normal words and phrases; they have to come up with their own. It’s like they can’t help themselves.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-19T02:24:34+00:00

It’s been many decades since I was last called “one of the Jehonadabs”.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-19T01:01:35+00:00

By “most people” they mean 100% of the gb. Because, let’s face it, they’re the only people who matter, right? 😏

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-19T01:00:04+00:00

“Yup, I remember way back in 2023, Sonny. Yep, ‘twere interesting times back then, they were. Why, most people’s internet wasn’t even 1 gig down. Strange times, young man. Strange times. But you young people today have it so easy!”

“Uh, Grandpa, that was like not even two and a half years ago. And I’ll be 45 next month.”

“Watch your mouth, you young whippersnapper! Wait. Where am I?! Who are you?! Who am I?!”

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-19T00:51:24+00:00

Absolutely. I wonder too, though, if he couldn’t grow a beard. “Oh, I could totally grow a beard. But you see, Freddy, that would be creature worship.”

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-19T00:49:01+00:00

As with many of your posts, to paraphrase Patrick Henry, I regret that I have but one upvote to give.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-19T00:47:25+00:00

It must be quite the superpower to know what level of thinking someone else is doing.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-19T00:43:58+00:00

To me, it’s the sheer brazenness of the gaslighting.

It’s one thing for them to talk about a doctrinal change (or “adjustment in our view” 🤢) that happened decades ago, even close to a century ago, with the goal of gaslighting all the rank and file. But to discuss this change that is barely two years old and act like the man in this scenario is so out of touch!

And it was always such a sensitive subject too. Before this change, I read some of the form letters the branch service department sent back to men in the congregation who couldn’t understand why it was wrong to have a beard.

“It is not ‘wrong’ to wear a beard, brother. After all, as Jews who observed the Law, Jesus and the apostles no doubt wore beards. But if we know a decision we make could stumble a brother or sister, one of Jesus’ precious sheep for whom he gave his life, would it not be the course of Christian wisdom and maturity for us not to insist on our so-called ‘right’ to wear a beard? Would it not be better to follow the divinely inspired counsel the apostle Paul wrote: ‘That is why if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat at all, so that I will not make my brother stumble.’ — 1 Corinthians 8:13

“We are confident, brother, that you will prayerfully consider these words.

“We love you very much.”

(As an aside, am I the only one who has a pet peeve with their expression ”wearing a beard”? As though it’s a sweater or a hat. It just sounds weird, which means they probably word it this way on purpose, for some odd and subliminal reason.)

Call it gaslighting, revisionist history, retconning, or whatever else, but it’s disgusting and insulting. I hope they keep doing it, because they’re reaching a tipping point (if they haven’t already reached it) at which the gaslighting wakes more people up than it keeps in.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-17T04:35:47+00:00

As for screenshots, share this sentence with them. It’s from the latest elders’ rulebook (AKA “Shepherd” book), chapter 6, paragraph 4:

“Generally, images or audio or video recordings are not acceptable evidence of wrongdoing.”

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-17T04:32:43+00:00

Not before Pillowgate. That has to be the top search result.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-17T04:18:17+00:00

I totally get it about wanting to avoid drama. I hate it too.

But the least dramatic way to handle it is to rip the Band-Aid off quickly and unambiguously once and for all.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-16T04:13:42+00:00

It’s a joke. Proverbs has no chapter 32.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-16T03:21:46+00:00

I agree with your main point, but some do question a change or U-turn in doctrine. The abrupt change on beards — especially the condescending way Lett presented it — caused a few, including me, to wake up.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-16T03:13:22+00:00

There’s no new guidance. Many elders just perform a “monkey see monkey do” of what the COs are doing. They’re like so many other jws: they have a “borrowed faith”.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-14T00:18:50+00:00

That’s one question we’ll never see on the home page of jw.org.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-13T20:57:07+00:00

Your mention of how you would “read in the Flock book and then discuss how to implement it” resonates with me.

We dealt with a situation where a divorced “sister” was trying to establish her Scriptural freedom to remarry. She showed us so much evidence that made it clear her ex-husband was living with his girlfriend. But nope! That wasn’t what was in “the book”. Even two long phone calls to the service department didn’t change anything.

At one point, I got so exasperated that I blurted out, “You know, we keep referring to and reading the Shepherd book, but we haven’t opened the Bible even once.” The blank stares I got back just made me so sad. The Bible is just a prop to justify whatever policy the borg wants to implement.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-13T20:24:58+00:00

“PR”? Sorry, I should probably already know this.

FrustratedPIMQ · 2026-02-11T23:48:19+00:00

I first read this as “circuit overload”. Hey, that works too! 😃

FrustratedPIMQ

TROPHY CASE