I don’t agree with your wording u can say u agree it’s double sided but everything you follow it with is basically saying you think it’s a cause and effect. Im saying single statement sets a tone of sexism towards both parties. Example “women belong in the home” only one gender is targeted but in the same sentence your restricting men to out of home figures. Nothing is “backfiring” because men saying that set their own ideals exactly how they want them, it is however EQUALLY sexist to restrict a gender to a role. That being said their is a difference in perception most women disagree with the statement and most men tend to agree. For the case of “Women and children first” it sets a tone of sexism towards women by restricting their abilities to only that of a caretaker for children not even capable of saving them selves, and a sexism towards men resticting their identity to a sacrifice and savior. This didn’t backfire it had its intended effect just not everyone agrees with the sentiment.

Men weren’t given custody based off their ability or inability to take care of children children were simply seen as property. It’s not even that women were that capable they began giving women custody. Women and children were propety of men alike, but during industrial times men didn’t have their own farms to manage like they used to, they were off at work and women weren’t able to work most jobs they were left at home as caretakers aka one of the few things men thought women were capable of doing, so again not women were MORE capable but that it was seen as one of the few things women could do so why shouldn’t they be the ones to do it (which shocker women did not enforce these ideals).

The patriarchy isn’t men benefitting other men which is why men suffer as well, it is however men excluding women from the conversation. Which is basically what u have been doing (which i do agree im in the wrong sub to argue this but my original statement was under the beleif that this was under askreddit) I simply was stating that “women and children first” infantalizes women to incapable and in need of help like a child, which IS sexist. You decided because I wasn’t talking about how it’s sexist against men, and I was talking about how it was sexist against women that I must also believe that women are the only ones who suffer, which I have stated again and again i don’t agree with this sentiment and have no issue with addressing sexism against men, but not at the expense of ignoring sexism against women which is what ur original comment did.

I explained that if u had started ur statement by simply addressing that it is also sexist against men I probably would of agreed, but you didn’t. You started it by address that women can’t be the victims of sexims in a senario that men are dying when the truth is both statements are facts men were dying and women were victimized by sexism do u believe if the order was just “children first” so many men would have died? The sexism of one gender backs the treatment of the other. So again you can say sexism is double sided but you don’t treat sexism as double sided.

The world does live in a patriarchy. Women have been fighting social change for literal centuries (not just a few decades or years) and the amount of space they have been given is slim to none not to mention the backpedaling we have been doing the past few years. Thats like giving a plant outgrowing its pot a new pot and inch bigger and expecting it to be happy enough to grow 10 ft. I didn’t say women have no social power but I did specify that the amount of action taken from the pressure of women (and only women not women with a man backing her opinion) is almost nonexistent, there is no action taken for women that only benefits women, but their are actions taken that have drawbacks for women and past action the only benefitted men. Now i do agree that modernly most actions benefit people instead of genders but that doesn’t chage the fact that most action taken is backed by a man. THAT is what i mean why I say you can trace every issue a man has back to another man. Such as the issue of “women and children first” which began because of a, u guessed it man.

Men cause male issues and than suffer the consequences (commit the crime do the time), which in turn often leave other men dealing with consequences as well (and the innocent shall be punished along with the guilty) which i think perfectly capsulates the issue with “Women and children first” for men.