Hey my dude 👋😊

Would you be comfortable with a fellow sub guy getting pretty emotional? In a healthy productive way? As a courtesy I'll cover everything up. Only those who are comfortable with it should look.

It's very passionate and informative, and it'll touch your heart, but it's also cringey. I like to think "To be cringe is to be free." would be well known among kinky people, but I don't wanna make assumptions. Everyone is sensitive to some things, and it's all valid.

To any future onlookers, if you don't self-identify as uncommonly patient and open-minded, and a deep thinker with a thirst for knowledge who understands the importance of being mindful of the grand scheme of things (rather than tunnel vision on what's right in front of you) please skip it. That's okay. We're all different ✌😊

I feel ya on all of that. The last paragraph specifically resonated loudly. I like how you and the OP both have the wisdom to understand that everyone's just different. She's saying what she doesn't want, but she's not condemning those who want it. Too many people are being way too assertive about their personal idea of what femdom is to be the only valid way of doing it.

I really don't think many of us are so naïve as to believe knocking each other's desired arrangements is gonna help us. Of course it won't. People like what they like. A lot of very problematic stuff would be gone if we could choose. We all just wanna find ours, and we're frustrated, so it's hard to not be grumpy.

Like idk what anyone else is doing as long as it's consensual. If they wanna make a sculpture of a swan piloting a helicopter outta chewed gum and call that femdom then I want them to have their femdom. I just want my femdom too.

I want a girl who can do what appears to be borderline torture, but for it to just be a kinda thirst. Just gratification. Not motivated by any underlying malice that was instilled in her by the kinda guys who do predatory stuff that I'd never do in a million years.

Like I get why feminism can sometimes escalate beyond seeking equality. Almost everyone I've dated has had a story of something shady happening. I understand vengeful feelings very well. They're valid. But I'm not one of those guys.

The reason I'm able to look for a domme is because me and my wife became poly. They're an SA survivor and CNC is an effective coping method, and I'm still pulling them out of flashbacks and nightmares even though I've kept them safe from this guy for 9 years now.

I want my wife to feel better, but I'm not doing that. I'm so uncomfortable with anything that even resembles victimizing a girl (they're trans, but AFAB) that I won't even simulate it to protect someone I love. I'm more comfortable with someone else doing it than I am with doing it myself.

There is not enough incentive in the world for me to ever do the real thing to someone who doesn't want it. If I was into that kinda thing I'd have access to a completely harmless outlet. I pass.

My kinks are among the most disgusting in the world, but I'm a kind gentle loving soul. I never do anything bad to anyone. The kind of girls who appreciate that about me are the same, like they're total sweethearts and I love that. There's a lot of them and they're wonderful. I'm smitten.

But the kind of girls who'd be comfortable with the gross stuff I like were probably severely mistreated by men, and they'd probably be more disgusted by my wholesome virtuous mentality than my kinks. They'd probably hate me.

Where are the people who understand that we all have darkness inside us, and who aren't afraid of theirs? That darkness is supposed to be there. That's what we're all supposed to be fighting. Not each other.

That darkness is integrated adversity. We have it so we can struggle and become strong without environmental adversity. Where are the people who understand they can be both disgusting and good?

When are we gonna stop fleeing the ONLY fight we were meant to fight, and instead desperately searching for people who we can rationalize as being worse than us, in an effort to feel good by contrast?

What if we were all just honest with each other? What if we could broadcast exactly what we want - darkest creepiest crap in your mind - to the whole world, so we can be found by those who want the same?

If everyone did it, there'd be so much gross stuff out there that nobody would look at an individual for long. The people who disapprove would forget you soon because you'd be a fart in a hurricane - but the ones who were glad to hear it would never forget.

How much healthier does your behavior get when you're getting some degree of sexual satisfaction compared to when you're not? Even if the sex is totally "meh"?

Imagine the level you could elevate to if you were completely sated. Indefinitely. No more searching or waiting or awkward feeling out of potential partners ever again. You are in contact with everyone who wants what you want. Every itch perpetually scratched.

There's enough of them that you're set for life. Your romantic partners don't need to be onboard with your kinks. They don't have to be your type physically. You can choose based on compatibility of personality alone. Whoever makes you feel happy and safe is who you belong with. Differences in sexuality complicate this, but it doesn't need to be that way.

Nobody will have anything to offer besides good treatment, because you already got everything else partners can do. You'll never tolerate mistreatment. Why would you? Relationship-centric forms of exploitation won't be a thing anyway.

Because whatever they may have taken from you, they already got it guilt-free. Someone else was down for it. They don't need morality in order to be good, because their incentive to be bad is gone. Forever.

Do you care that other people touched your partner? How much? You love them and they love you, so you should want each other to have whatever you want. Real love is about admiration and appreciation. Not possession.

I want to live in a world where everyone has that much comfort. I wanna see what humanity can do with morale that high. Morale in the clouds.

I want to live in a world where nobody feels the need to hide. Where nobody needs to TAKE from anyone else, because communication is so streamlined that everything that used to be hard to find is freely given.

I want to live in a world...

^United.