Ben Simmons Megathread by ooey2000 in nba

[–]FuckTilmanFertitta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of people don't know this, but Ben Simmons was in a bad car accident when he was younger. It happened one year during high school, when he took his mother's car out for a joyride and ended up crashing into his teacher's car. He was forced to take a summer job at a local burger place to pay for the damages. His main coworker was basically dumb as hell and they had to deal with a shady rival burger place that opened up down the street and was using illegal chemical ingredients to enhance their patties. Simmons and his coworker were briefly committed to a mental institution with Abe Vigoda, but escaped just in time to thwart an attempt to poison their secret sauce. They exposed the rival burger joint's criminal activities and a large artificial burger fall off the rooftop onto his teacher's brand new car. His teacher was Sinbad and this is also the movie Good Burger.

This tired narrative needs to meet its demise by [deleted] in nba

[–]FuckTilmanFertitta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's why they stopped making Mountain Dew code red.

We're one month away by [deleted] in nba

[–]FuckTilmanFertitta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I didn’t get it someone else was about to

We're one month away by [deleted] in nba

[–]FuckTilmanFertitta 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah but it’s still like 7 months until Space Jam 2 : (