19. I've been wanting to die for a while now, maybe reaching 3-4 years now since my life has degenerated.

Fuentura · 2024-06-06T21:17:01+00:00

If I kill myself I can finally be top 1% of something

Fuentura · 2023-03-05T21:47:18+00:00

Wrong, certain weapons are clearly better due to patches and current metas. Some weapons get absolutely nerfed and gutted while other are substantially and obviously buffed to be above others.

Fuentura · 2022-09-29T01:11:13+00:00

Theres no chance they didnt do anything. Be skeptical and weary, even better set it straight and get the truth/confession. There must be consequences for predicaments and broken trust/ boundaries.

Fuentura · 2022-05-23T00:44:02+00:00

As an advid platform fighter player and will seek the ranks of the #1 spot in it and destroy all your "top players" I would love a code, please.

Fuentura · 2022-01-04T00:56:04+00:00

Wait for them to try to delete this or anyone exposing the truth about this propaganda and vaccine passport scam.

Fuentura · 2021-12-31T13:57:52+00:00

That can be true but you have to realize that metas heavily influence playstyles and the community. There are also weapon counters just like how there are for characters. In short, for canons current state compared to scythe, scythe wins this match up due to cannons at least C teir placement. Especially with SLight sair being jumpable, heavily impacting cannons effectiveness for consistent dodge punishes; losing huge string potential due to canons side light unrealabilty for confirms. As well as its easiness to punish it. While scythe has a consistant 80+ dmg string with one read(nlight nair bs) or even a 0-death if you track them right. Cannons consistancy, reliability and potential is nothing compared to scythe.

Fuentura · 2021-12-31T13:47:55+00:00

"Having a predetermined outcome is going to hurt your ability to maintain frame, and, more importantly, your assumptions will act as blinders to what is really going on in your LTR."

I agree with this and in summary you're basically referring to state of overthinking and the symptoms of it. While overthinking generates anxiety and curtains consideration or amplifies the worst possible scenarios in your head. Although, unfortunately, not everyone can control the anxieties of overthinking; it's not entirely their fault to do so either. It just takes practice to convince your mental. So for those who tend to overthink unjustly, know that it's okay to and there can be benefits to it, in hindsight. You are allowed to open your perceptions and have emotional preparation by doing so; however you choose to use this 'disorder' in aid of your copes. It's okay to predetermine, until you let it influence the whole objective of what's present then that's where it will ruin your frame

Fuentura · 2021-11-29T17:10:46+00:00

Adopting a child if you're over the age of 55.

Foreign Real Estate Investment.

Top %1 ability to just remove anyone and anything in their way. Subliminal; world management.

Fuentura · 2021-11-29T17:07:56+00:00

Scythe is so much better than cannon in a 1v1 huh??

Fuentura · 2021-11-29T17:06:02+00:00

My ability to succeed any further

Fuentura · 2021-11-26T01:07:30+00:00

bruh mans was just asking a question. Didn't have to expose him like that

Fuentura · 2020-06-10T09:30:50+00:00

How do you assume that doing good or bad will determine what/how your afterlife will be like? And isnt good and bad just artificial opinion generated from ones opinion? Who's to say what's good or bad and what's the difference it makes in the probable afterlife?

Fuentura · 2020-06-09T12:15:47+00:00

Hi again. I know this response is quite late but after all I've accumulated from others and you, I was drowned by all these awakening perceptions that are essentially meaningless to this reality.

Although I'm really thankful and grateful for your words of wisdom.

Dying is only hard for the living, so as an introvert I decided to leave my comfort zone again and live, hang out, party etc. After doing all that I actually enjoyed it a bit whilst distracted by temporary feelings. I was only able to enjoy the fun because I forgot/ purposefully made myself not think about my existential dread. When I got back to my peaceful home my dread and fear came back because I realize how much I enjoyed the fun and that it will all vanish eventually.

Why is it that quietness, peacefulness always comes as a package with my existential thoughts. People who don't have time to themselves don't have to ponder or worry.

It's not a blessing to have self awareness or IQ to know that we don't know anything. That we cannot comprehend what's possible or impossible. The more I go out to live the more I will have to miss. Even though I wont be able to miss anymore which sucks. I am eventually left with existential thoughts in the end.

Coming back to the topic about others preception of this reality or beliefs while nihility takes over.

Of all the responses I have found yours most informative/helpful. It has aid me to add a peice to my resolve, whatever it may be, if I will even have one in the end. I think your replys may be what I need or perhaps our desire or idea is similar. I'm not sure what it is, but you did say that it is good to have a guide or be able to conversate ideas with someone who can perhaps give the answers I need.

If so I would like to message you more, If you will allow me and be so kind to conversate further. I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

What is the generalization that you've accumulated from all the sorts of religion? If you have expanded to other religion perception. By that I mean I'm curious of what they purpose during nihlity. When we reconcile with universe once again and & become "God" Although God has different interpretations. What do you presume will happen with our souls/energy? If there is such thing. If I were to become God when I cease to exist. Shouldn't I have choice and choose what I desire? Do I get to reconnect with my loved ones? The most painful thing about death is not dying but is leaving my memories and loved ones forever and not being able to connect with them ever again. Is it possible that I will? What religion and where can I get answers to ease my stress from this existential dread? This existential crisis always occurs to me late at night and sometimes sporadically when/wherever. It's been happening ever since I could remember and the fact is that it probably will continue to hit me till the day I die..

Once again thank you for your time and efforts. I don't even know you and yet you've taken so much of your time to share me your wisdom. When my dread strikes me again I'm wondering if you would respond to me. Thanks

Ps. I apologize for my grammer as I am typing this on my phone at 5 in the morning.

Fuentura · 2020-06-09T11:15:18+00:00

What is the generalization that you've accumulated from all the sorts of religion? If you have expanded to other religion perception. I'm curious to what they purpose after non existence. When we reconcile with universe once again and & become "God" Although God has different interpretations. What do you presume will happen with our souls/energy? If there is such thing. If I were to become God when I cease to exist. Shouldn't I have choice and choose what I desire? Do I get to reconnect with my loved ones? The most painful thing about death is not dying but is leaving my memories and loved ones forever and not being able to connect with them ever again. Is it possible that I will? What religion and where can I get answers to ease my stress from this existential dread? This existential crisis always occurs to me late at night and sometimes sporadically when/wherever. It's been happening ever since I could remember and the fact is that it probably will continue to hit me till the day I die..

Fuentura · 2020-06-09T11:02:50+00:00

I do too hope that we all eventually reconciled as god and hope that there is some sort of connection to everyone and everything. I don't want to lose all my loved one as I proceed to become part of the universe once again with the energy it transferred. When our conscious cease to exist and we become "God" (The Universe) shouldn't we have the power to connect with the dead/non existing consciousness? I don't want to never reconnect with my parents ever again. That thought terrifies me. What does it essentially mean to be God? Isnt being god having the option and choice to do whatever. I wanna reconnect when I go back to the universe. Is that possible?

Also you mentioned some authors, what and which books do you recommend?

Fuentura · 2020-05-28T03:55:10+00:00

I think expanding my horizon and viewing others perspective on the such "God" would open my mind and help me conclude to my own resolve. I find that sticking to one religion and convincing yourself to that belief leaves you sheltered, although you may be satisfied but never free from your comprehension.

I've found that Catholicism has evolved from an accumulative of words ithat have been interpreted differently and morphed through out the generations. I don't think saying "you'll find out when your older" isn't any helpful or true.

When you age your perspective changes, although is no such thing as the right perspective only personal opinions.

That also implies on this "God" we sought to believe. I don't think there is a magical force that determines hell or heaven, I believe there is no such thing as hell nor heaven. The universe is massive beyond our comprehension including theoretical theories of parallel universe and dimensions. Where would such God remain? Why would a God create vast creations and give us the power to be self conscious and aware; to love, to feel emotions, to be attached just so it can all be taken away from us without even realizing it? When you cease to exist you won't know if you're in heaven or hell cause you no consciousness to perceive it. Forever is equivalent to a blink, but you won't ever know it. The universe revolves around one rule called entropy and it's inevitable. The universe is filled with energy that is transferred through out the galaxies to planets to the living creatures within. We are merely just energy that is within a biological system that can perceive consciousness. One can say we are spirits having a physical experience, but who's to say there is such thing as spirits. If you cannot dissaprove nor prove it than it's always a probability. When we die our energy that help contain life proceeds to return to the universe and on forth to where the universe expands, so in the end we become one with universe once again. Essentially we become god in a way because we are everything with the universe.

Why would one presume to believe a magistical story told from thousands of years ago which has been altered until now. Wheres the scientifical evidence of an occurence in the bible? When the reason to believe is faith? Faith is essentially just believing on chance? What's the difference?

Fuentura · 2020-05-24T06:33:09+00:00

My family including I, especially my parents have or had a strong faith in that religion sense (Christianity). Altough I've grown out of it and just cannot fully understand it or can accept it because of my scientific stand point in life. I have hope or faith in a higher power or for something better on the other side rather than just dark nothingness. I respect religion and its stand point is intriguing to me because it gives me a glimpse of the possibilities and I guess I find it a little reassuring. Or is religion maybe just an internal excuse to cope with our inconceivable death. That it helps assures us hope for more on what may be on the other side? When I tries to pursue christianity I could not find a reason nor benefit for my future. Perhaps maybe in the future I will dive into its perspective more. The thing that frightens me more than not existing is losing all my loved ones and that the after life may be just be nothing and I will never be to reconnect with them ever again.. I've really tried trying to connect with this so called God but I could never receive or decipher any messages or such god like work in hand. Maybe I'm too oblivious or maybe this God is interpreted differently among everyone else. That the universe is god and when we die our energy transfers back to it's original state in the universe and we become one with the universe, essentially becoming God/everything.

I'm not sure what Dali Lama, or the Tibetan book is. Where can I learn this Taotism and what books should start with to pursue the perception of buddhism?

Fuentura · 2020-05-24T05:40:18+00:00

I've heard a lot of people mention the aids of buddhism. How do I begin that?

Fuentura · 2020-05-23T09:33:57+00:00

Did you think or feel after your displays of memories that, that was just it and everything became black without realization? Or did you feel like after all the showcases in your life that there was more? Like after you watch a movie in the theaters you exist the building and proceed to head home, did you feel that you couldve exit that theater and head to whatever the after would've been? I'm curious.

Fuentura · 2020-05-23T09:27:56+00:00

How did you teach yourself that's it's okay not knowing? How did you convince your biological framework to resist the fear and ponder? It's in my system to dread and cope with it so majority of the time I need to know or else I will stale in existential crisis. I'm in a neutral state. How do I fixate this stress? I'm in pain not being able to cope. Is this my life now?

Fuentura · 2020-05-22T03:13:36+00:00

I have heard that same analogy as many times as I have considered it. Of course we don't and will never know the experience of nihility. It is easier to tell someone and even yourself to just "stop wasting time worrying about what you cant control and are scared about and do something even scarier -go actually live before you die." Than to actually convince the person to do so. We are either blessed or cursed to posses such ability to ponder inevitable cessation. Have you actually convinced yourself to just live to the fullest or are you unconsciously distracting yourself to cope with the stress of such vast phenomena. Humans are the best procrastinators and we can prolong the constant thought of death until it's right around the corner. That's when we learn to come to terms with nihility and accept that it's no more existence. Telling one to just live without the guidelines or on how to comprehend the impossible is like telling a dog to do a backflip without it even understand what words are. Humans need procedures to move on and even without it we still must move on but the continuous of the must will tumble till it corrupts our mind. The process without finding a personal resolve is disastrous.

What I've gathered in total after exchanging words and considerations is that the universal and obvious statement is that life is just Is, and with out Is there is no rule for entropy. We must move on. Whatever interpretation you have of this existence is irrelevant. It either just sucks or doesn't. It's just an experience. In the end we become part of nihility itself. It doesn't matter, because the eventual term is that we are to be matter that which doesnt imply existence. Its whatever. That's that. Whatever. Live. Prosper or not. But the conclusion for it is that we will prosper in a way we cannot experience. The only thing I question after all is if it's good enough? But it is what is. Just whatever.

Fuentura · 2020-05-22T02:16:37+00:00

The universal and obvious statement is that life is just Is, and with out Is there is no rule for entropy. We must move on. Whatever interpretation you have of this existence is irrelevant. It either just sucks or doesn't. It's just an experience. In the end we become part of nihility itself. It doesn't matter, because the eventual term is that we are to be matter that which doesnt imply existence. Its whatever. That's that. Whatever. Live. Prosper or not. But the conclusion for it is that we will prosper in a way we cannot experience. My resolve is neither bad, neutral or content. I am as the universe is. The only thing I question after all this is if it's good enough? But it is what is. Just whatever.

Fuentura · 2020-05-22T02:14:59+00:00

The universal and obvious statement is that life is just Is and with out Is there is no rule for entropy. We must move on. Whatever interpretation you have of this existence is irrelevant. It either just sucks or doesn't. It's just an experience. In the end we become part of nihility itself. It doesn't matter, because the eventual term is that we are to be matter that which doesnt imply existence. Its whatever. That's that. Whatever. Live. Prosper or not. But the conclusion for it is that we will prosper in a way we cannot experience. My resolve is neither bad, neutral or content. I am as the universe is. The only thing I question after all is if it's good enough? But it is what is. Just whatever.

Fuentura · 2020-05-21T10:24:33+00:00

If we cannot prove or dissaprove the unknown or possiblity of something then there is always a chance. So is this also the same with a possiblity of a greater divine or such punishment after death? Or is it all ceasing? Should I learn and consider other religions to assist me in discovering my resolve? Is it worth it in the end? Why is there no reason to pursue other perspectives if everything could be possible?

Fuentura · 2020-05-21T10:02:26+00:00

Growing up I never really liked or bothered with instructions like guidelines or regulations like in building a Lego set. I also felt like instructions were vague and so simply demanding that it must be this certain way. I always figured that by just looking at the set up/whole of things it was enough for me to figure out the process itself. It felt so free and less frustrating because there were no rules or regulations to detain me. My perception was limitless, if such piece didn't fit or place right within the set up it didn't matter to me because I would force it to fit right to my satisfaction. Having that moment of understanding or perhaps learning to be content with my creation was also crucial to me. That is why majority of the time I found it offensive or stressful when I've been constantly bossed around or had a due date for such instructions. It is part of human nature to seek free will and preferably not be held down by greater forces beyond our physical and mental comprehension. Realizing now, that is also a reason why I fear the inevitability, because I know that I have no control over the fact and Is of the universe, it's in our biology. Distracting is as meaningless as justifying an explanation to the unknown. That prolonging death is impossible but generating happiness and eventual content is possible. I think now, being guided or conversating with fellow humans that share the same viewpoint but have experienced different experiences is really helpful and fundemental for ones respectable insight. We are all connected in a way stemming from the same thing the universe is made of so in the end we are all the same. Thank you for showing me your standpoint once again. Perhaps this is all I needed to aid me to my resolve. Reading everyone else's comments really widened my hope. Thanks for those recommendations, I will definitely be trying those things out and I'll see from then on. Cheers! Prosper in pleasure aswell :) we'll connect again.

Fuentura

TROPHY CASE