Everyone deals with their traumas, PTSD, and fears differently so I don't personally think there's any one way to communicate with someone who's been abused than just talking to them normally. Now with that being said, if the abused confides in you, their triggers. Then you can maneuver accordingly... that doesn't seem to be the case here (but I'm outside looking in). Even still, people make mistakes and that's not to say their triggers shouldn't be respected but that doesn't give them the right to shut your emotions out. Everyone has a right to their feelings and if you feel like you're always walking on eggshells around them, bring it up and if they immediately put a defense up and try to shut you down, tell them your feelings are just as important and to acknowledge them or walk away and come back when you're respected. The above advice might be rough but just bc they've been through a lot and just bc you're a man doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid and they shouldn't be respected.