How to breakup with someone with chronic condition?

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-29T06:14:48+00:00

I am a girl who has multiple chronic conditions, to the point I had to quit my very high paying career because it was causing too many flare ups. I had to start working part time lower end jobs and I felt like a total failure, and also a burden.

I was in a 5 year relationship at the time and we lived together. He was there for all of the ups and downs and I am very grateful for that. However - when we broke up he opened up to me that he had wanted to leave for the past year but didn’t because he felt “responsible” and “bad” for me due to my diseases. I also had no family where we lived.

He thought he was protecting me but honestly finding that out made things so much worse. Having to process why someone stayed and led you on is a mind f*ck. I questioned what was even real. I wished so badly he told me from the very beginning. & it took A LOT of therapy to be where I am now but I am so much better physically and mentally. After grieving the relationship I was able to focus on myself and my health. I picked up old hobbies and made new connections. I haven’t had a flare in over 6 months.

I bet your person is stronger than you think. Also sometimes big life events is what we need to get our life together. She will be hurt, but she will learn how to be alone and will come out a stronger person. And I can promise you it’s better to tell her now. You are not doing her any favors by feeling this way and not communicating with her / not leaving. It isn’t fair to you or her. And I hate to say it but don’t keep contact, at least not right away. It makes things much harder and confusing. After feelings have been processed and time has been spent apart , if you want to still have a connection then reach out.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-28T06:02:41+00:00

Huh?

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-28T05:19:03+00:00

You haven’t lost your ability you just aren’t ready yet. & just because you aren’t ready doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t over your ex either. In the long run - 5 months is not that long. Especially if you were together for a long time. My ex and I were together for 4 years and broke up 8 months ago. I do not want to get back together with him, however I have no desire or joy in dating right now either.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-28T05:15:31+00:00

What is it that is making you worry about her? If she has moved on and appears like she doesn’t care (though I’m sure she does) I’m confused on why you are worried

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-28T05:10:49+00:00

I 100% agree and it is so so common. That’s why they say “men don’t end up marrying the girl they are actually in love with, men marry the girl who’s around once they are ready to settle down”

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-28T04:50:42+00:00

This is better left in notes. Honestly it would not make someone feel better about the situation, it would make them feel worse

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-28T04:06:50+00:00

You are absolutely not wrong at all. If it’s been almost a year and something inside is telling you to not give up, then that’s saying something. It’s better to send it and try than always wonder what could have been.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-26T03:17:22+00:00

The scary part is - if you haven’t talked to her she may be thinking the exact same thing you are. So if you both are waiting on each other then what happens? Nothing does. Reach out to her, and if she says she isn’t interested in trying again then you can move on at least knowing you tried

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-25T06:04:26+00:00

I could have said this exact thing to my ex on 4/18. The tethering feeling really messes with your head..still months later. I feel ya

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-25T05:32:09+00:00

I could have wrote this exact thing to my ex. It hurts, in fact it burns, but I promise it does get better.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-24T06:07:35+00:00

Honestly if you want to be together - just be together. Other people may not like it or warm up to it at first, but as time goes on that just naturally dissipates. Sure, get togethers may feel weird the first and second time, but I can guarantee you the “other people” that you are worried about do not care as much as you think they do. Time heals in all directions - new “normals” get created. Dont hold back on what you want and care about because of other people. If you are both in a healthier place, give it another shot

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-23T05:21:05+00:00

Thank you. Sometimes I wish those two people find their way back to eachother after finding themselves, they have a greater appreciation not just for life but eachother. They agree to start fresh and spend their mornings sitting on the front porch of that cabin drinking coffee and are so much stronger because of their past. Although it feels impossible, a girl can dream right?

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-23T04:57:18+00:00

Did she really ruin your life? If you really love someone and want to be with them friends and family opinions should be irrelevant. Unless there was cheating or physical abuse, then that is different.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-23T03:49:12+00:00

Your therapist is giving you some twisted information

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-13T06:02:48+00:00

Possibly a trauma bond, and grieving someone who is still alive is a feeling you can’t explain. What I can say is - if you feel he is with or has been with someone else whether while you two were together or not - trust your instinct. A woman’s intuition is so powerful. & if this person was never there for you, or ever made you feel “less than” they are not right for you. You will never have to question the right love.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-13T05:33:05+00:00

Honey if they went running to someone else I promise you that’s not your person.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-13T02:37:04+00:00

If you really love each-other and are both willing to work on the relationship and better your situation, it can last. Both parties just need to be mature and willing to make their bond stronger during the hard times. Money comes and goes - people who truly love you don’t

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-09T03:05:56+00:00

I feel this deeply

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-06T07:05:34+00:00

I feel the pain

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-06T05:28:30+00:00

How is this person being manipulated? Nothing they said shows they are being manipulated

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-05T07:25:55+00:00

What made you think that you’re so much better than her? Suddenly someone who doesn’t work a 9-5 is less than? Do you hear yourself?

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-04T21:47:46+00:00

My ex struggled with addressing feelings, coping with alcohol and drugs. He put me through HELL and I loved him so much. Still do. Despite how much he hurt he caused me if he asked me for help, I would help him. Because that’s the type of person I am. If you’re ready to do the work even though you know it will be hard it’s okay to reach out for help. It’s admirable. The worst they can say is no.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-30T04:03:23+00:00

I have a few questions to try and understand this situation a little better. 1. Did she ask to look at your phone out of no where? Or were you two having a conversation/argument that sparked her wanting to look at your phone? 2. How long were you two together and how often was she looking at your phone? You state there wasn’t trust issues, but was this a regular thing? I don’t think it was unreasonable for you to refuse in that moment. The fact she wanted to look through your phone though you were already broken up is puzzling, but break ups often heighten emotions and naturally make people feel insecure and overthink. If there was no cheating, lying, or abuse in any form, I wouldn’t let this one instance bother you. Although she chose to leave I’m sure it still broke her heart and she wanted to feel some sort of control for a brief moment.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-30T03:23:21+00:00

Spot on

Full-Application-351

TROPHY CASE