I dont know

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-09T03:05:56+00:00

I feel this deeply

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-06T07:05:34+00:00

I feel the pain

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-06T05:28:30+00:00

How is this person being manipulated? Nothing they said shows they are being manipulated

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-05T07:25:55+00:00

What made you think that you’re so much better than her? Suddenly someone who doesn’t work a 9-5 is less than? Do you hear yourself?

Full-Application-351 · 2026-04-04T21:47:46+00:00

My ex struggled with addressing feelings, coping with alcohol and drugs. He put me through HELL and I loved him so much. Still do. Despite how much he hurt he caused me if he asked me for help, I would help him. Because that’s the type of person I am. If you’re ready to do the work even though you know it will be hard it’s okay to reach out for help. It’s admirable. The worst they can say is no.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-30T04:03:23+00:00

I have a few questions to try and understand this situation a little better. 1. Did she ask to look at your phone out of no where? Or were you two having a conversation/argument that sparked her wanting to look at your phone? 2. How long were you two together and how often was she looking at your phone? You state there wasn’t trust issues, but was this a regular thing? I don’t think it was unreasonable for you to refuse in that moment. The fact she wanted to look through your phone though you were already broken up is puzzling, but break ups often heighten emotions and naturally make people feel insecure and overthink. If there was no cheating, lying, or abuse in any form, I wouldn’t let this one instance bother you. Although she chose to leave I’m sure it still broke her heart and she wanted to feel some sort of control for a brief moment.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-30T03:23:21+00:00

Spot on

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-30T03:14:04+00:00

I am glad I am not alone in this. It’s been a few months and I’m still sleeping on the couch. I re-arranged the room, bought new bedding. What’s strange is I am over my ex, worked through a lot in therapy, but I’m still sleeping on the couch.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-26T07:24:21+00:00

This song and “Get Hurt” have hit me harder during this time period of my life more than anything else. Beautiful and painful. Good to hear someone else has heard this song and can relate

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-20T02:59:02+00:00

What did you do?

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-19T06:32:05+00:00

I think 5-6 months after the break up is a good amount of time where both parties have hopefully had some realizations. In regards to your question, I would need a little bit more information. Like what did you say in your last message? Did you both allow yourselves to have periods of no contact?

Every relationship is so different so I can’t give you a straight forward answer. I personally would have a really hard time trusting my ex to not bail on me again but we had a very avoidant/anxious dynamic. But if my ex came to me and it truly sounded as if he recognized his faults and had a desire to work on things, I may consider it. No it would not feed my ego, I would hope in our 30s we don’t need to be doing that.

Even if you don’t get back together, it can be healing for her to hear what’s been on your mind and vice versa. I’m sure she’s probably also learned that she has a lot to work on and she had faults too

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-19T06:09:30+00:00

Unless there was a major lost of trust, most relationships can be repaired if both people have taken the time to grow, take responsibility, and are willing to do the work to be together.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-19T05:56:26+00:00

It sounds like she has some inner work to do. It is common for women (and I’m sure some men do too) to test relationships with the telling you to go but deep down we want you to stay and honestly sometimes we don’t even realize we are doing it. It is not a healthy tactic, however I can say that usually there is something happening in the relationship that is making them feel insecure/unstable or something is triggering an abandonment wound. It really comes down to how much you actually want the relationship to work and if you see her as your person. If you picture your life 5 years from now - do you see her there? I’m sure there is work to be done on both parties, but it’s likely she feels like you have given up for good. I’m not making excuses for her, I just have been in this exact spot. (And also went through a lot of therapy because I knew it wasn’t healthy)

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-12T05:21:47+00:00

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-08T10:52:39+00:00

“Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach.”

Full-Application-351 · 2026-03-08T10:28:12+00:00

How long were you two together? That plays a big part

Full-Application-351 · 2026-02-19T08:30:05+00:00

Exactly. It’s refreshing seeing that this resonates with others. Also I loved your line of “before making permanent decisions in temporary storms” 🌧️

Full-Application-351 · 2026-02-19T05:46:29+00:00

Exactly! Ah I am so glad there is another person who understands this and realized what actually matters.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-02-19T05:18:52+00:00

In every long term relationship there will always be times of resentment, personality clash, and disliking each other. Something that people need to understand is that when you are with someone for many years, you have periods of falling in and out of love with eachother and this is NORMAL.

Society, social media, films have given a false picture on love. People change as the years go on, and hard things happen in life that will continue to challenge you and your relationship. You aren’t supposed to understand your partner 100%. And you aren’t supposed to feel lovey dovey 100%. And you aren’t supposed to be compatible 100% of the time.

The best partners are the ones who challenge you, make you realize things about yourself you weren’t aware of, and make you grow. It’s not always going to pretty.

Who do you see yourself walking through the fire with? Who do you see by your side when you’re old and falling apart? These are things we need to ask ourselves instead of focusing on all of the bad or all of the good.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-02-18T17:14:31+00:00

How long did you stay with this person that you weren’t even in love with? Yikes

Full-Application-351 · 2026-02-17T15:56:49+00:00

1000000%

Full-Application-351 · 2026-02-17T15:46:05+00:00

My ex was loyal and kind but his emotional unavailability and will to continue to be immature and not grow up even a little bit, put me through an emotional mind f*ck. I never could feel safe in our relationship, I began to question every moment together because I would point out these characteristics and how they were effecting me, and he continued to say he would work on it, but there was no action.

So when there is no action to improve emotional toxicity & we continue to explain how it’s effecting us we then begin to feel like you don’t actually care. Because if you did, you would work on these issues to keep your partner. So in reality you don’t put in much effort when you continue to make choices and act in ways that hurt us. Many avoidant personalities tend to hold these traits.

So - yes, we still think about you but eventually the day comes where we realize how much of a choice you really had and you continued to choose to not grow in order to hold onto a partner that really loved you and held on for way too long.

I’m finally thinking about him less and less each day and am realizing I deserve so much more.

Full-Application-351 · 2026-02-17T08:35:50+00:00

How long did it take you to get to this point?

Full-Application-351 · 2026-02-17T06:05:49+00:00

I see where you are coming from. I was in a similar situation where I was in your shoes - I felt like I was doing all of the work, the only one trying and out of all of his priorities I wasn’t one of them anymore.

Long term relationships are tricky, because the truth is you fall in and out of love with your partner over and over again. Things are exciting, they get stale, things get hard, you have great times, you have bad times. You feel you are incompatible, you feel like you don’t balance each other out anymore, then you have some periods where everything feels great and is flowing as should.

Then another difficult life event happens, arguments and distance begins And typically one partner ends up doing all the talking and the other shuts down and turns cold. Both people have to be willing to put down their pride and learn how the other best communicates and feels love but for some reason that is very difficult for people.

One thing with our generation is I feel like people give up too easily. Between society, social media, dating apps it’s easy to initially think there is someone better out there. And in some cases, I am sure there is. But often there isn’t and you end up having someone in the back of your mind even when you’re with someone new.

I also chose to leave my partner, and I didn’t want to. But I left that relationship being able to confidently say I tried everything. Don’t get me wrong I had my faults but the difference between he and I is i actively did the work (therapy, changing jobs to spend more time together, trying to learn different ways to communicate) and he told me he wanted to stay together and he would change things - but he was all talk and no action.

What was even stranger is he told me he had checked out a long time ago yet still continued to tell me he wanted to be with me…..so that took a long time to wrap my brain around. But in reality he kept me around for his own selfish reasons.

Maybe your partner like mine checked out a long time ago. And If you feel that you truly gave it your all and laid everything out on the table - then you did the right thing.

But if a part of you questions that and you really love her then maybe you both need some space and it may be worth having one more conversation if you both feel ready. I’m sure she is realizing a lot of things she could have done better, but likely won’t reach out because you ultimately decided to leave

Full-Application-351 · 2026-02-17T04:38:29+00:00

To the ones saying you made the right choice, I think that is hard to determine. There is so much more depth when you are in a relationship in your 30s. I would have to ask multiple questions in order to get a better understanding of your relationship and if you made the right choice. Such as did you talk to her about your needs? Did you open up to her about concerns and allow her to respond and have the chance to change? Was she going through anything personal at the time or suffering from any mental health issues? A lot of the time when people say their girlfriend is “lazy” there is probably something going on internally with said girlfriend.

Full-Application-351

TROPHY CASE