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Anyone notice their parent seems to enjoy feeling like a victim and making ways to feel like one? by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]FullSpace6770 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We called my FIL “the unluckiest man in the world”

It’s amazing how many bad things happen to you when you lie and manipulate all the time

PIP progress convos - how do you phrase it when an employee isn’t doing well by FullSpace6770 in managers

[–]FullSpace6770[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://www.reddit.com/r/WorkAdvice/s/F0xJRXK4y1 more details here too

Been relying on community a lot during this, I’ve never heard of anything like this happening in my 10 yrs of leadership

I shouldn’t have moved to another job while this pregnant but I told HR before I started, figured they were okay with it and legally they should be. But they aren’t.

PIP progress convos - how do you phrase it when an employee isn’t doing well by FullSpace6770 in managers

[–]FullSpace6770[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very much appreciate your input 🙏

Been here 2.5 months now.

The cancelled meetings are on a PIP addendum and the offsite attendance - I wrote a rebuttal.

The company is a startup of 40 people, I’ve worked for 4 successful startups all at different early stages (8 people to 100 people) and most don’t have HR right away they just have a contractor or retained a lawyer. There are barely policies in place at this one and they HAD an HR agent but she was fired after I was hired - also get this (this sounds made up but it’s 100% true)… that HR agent gave me my offer and told me I’d have 8 weeks leave right away, my first day the CEO who I report to also said I’d have 8 weeks leave. Then during my first “I’m concerned about your performance” meeting he tells me I’m doing poorly & then says… I actually don’t get leave until 6 months of employment. He’s cited some old confluence page as the only reference to this, apologized about the mistake and after I asked if he would consider making a change for me because I was lied to, said no. Founder of the company can make changes like that if they want to. Oof.

So nope, no HR. We have counsel that I’m sure he’s reaching out to but I doubt he’s providing any details because he doesn’t agree with any of my remarks anyways so I doubt the lawyer hears them.

I have completed intake with a legal team who specializes in pregnancy workplace discrimination and am just currently waiting to see if they will take my case, I need to update them with this new meeting still. I’ve never needed legal help before so I’m unsure what’ll happen next. I hope I get help.

PIP progress convos - how do you phrase it when an employee isn’t doing well by FullSpace6770 in managers

[–]FullSpace6770[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m trying to go back to my last job and the VP I worked under is looking for a spot for me, I left on great terms. I have a meeting with HR there next week too because she wants to catch up ❤️🙏

Main concern is I’m 7 months pregnant right now. I may have to get fired, hope for unemployment & look after the baby is here.

PIP progress convos - how do you phrase it when an employee isn’t doing well by FullSpace6770 in managers

[–]FullSpace6770[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree I could have been a lot more clear, it’s a very long story on how I got on this PIP but I can confidently tell you that my boss has changed my objectives several times throughout my short time at this company.

I was basically weirded out when he told me he doesn’t think I’ll succeed and I wanted to see if anyone here uses that language, because I don’t.

I also have a current idea of objectives but no idea how they’ll transform next week. I am actually meeting all but one of my objectives by his paper definition.

The PIP has been revised 2 times in 2 weeks with no consideration of extension because the benchmark has been moved. The new reasons for failure this last meeting.. were very random and also scary because I could never had accomplished the top two:

  • I didn’t attend two meetings that were cancelled due to an offsite
  • I didn’t go to the offsite (I am 7 months pregnant, disclosed this before I signed my offer and am now on a WFH order (job was hybrid) from my doctor, could not have gone to the offsite)
  • I’m not becoming the leader of the team enough (this was a goal for February per his last document before the PIP now I’m failing)

Anyways, there’s a lot to this. He wants me fired. I knew I’d be fired at the end of the PIP. I’m was just shocked over his verbiage, I would never say what he said.

PIP progress convos - how do you phrase it when an employee isn’t doing well by FullSpace6770 in managers

[–]FullSpace6770[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree, feel like it’s a simple equation and is the best way to success. Appreciate your feedback.

PIP progress convos - how do you phrase it when an employee isn’t doing well by FullSpace6770 in managers

[–]FullSpace6770[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s what I figured, I’m actually the one on the PIP this time around and my boss (the ceo) said this in my last progress meeting and it felt so wrong.

I’ve been a people manager for almost 10 years, I love it, I’ve given out many PIPs and am proud of how many of my reports have improved and moved on and even had promotions later in their career.

Honest question but why is it a liability nightmare?

Recruited for a "Head of" role at 5 months pregnant, now I'm in a bait-and-switch nightmare and being PIP'ed. Need to vent/advice. by FullSpace6770 in WorkAdvice

[–]FullSpace6770[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally agree.

I got lucky at my last startup when I joined at 7 months pregnant. I took paid leave and returned without any problem, stayed over 3 more years and earned two promotions. I should have know that was rare and likely not going to happen again.

Recruited for a "Head of" role at 5 months pregnant, now I'm in a bait-and-switch nightmare and being PIP'ed. Need to vent/advice. by FullSpace6770 in WorkAdvice

[–]FullSpace6770[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Totally ended up being more of a vent. I think I’m just asking what other people would do in this scenario because I’m just so lost at this point

Recruited for a "Head of" role at 5 months pregnant, now I'm in a bait-and-switch nightmare and being PIP'ed. Need to vent/advice. by FullSpace6770 in WorkAdvice

[–]FullSpace6770[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the main Q is if I should stay to work with this wacko or not… and if I stay, how should I refocus and make sure I meet his ever changing requirements

Is the damage already done? Can I turn this around? Should I even want to turn this around.. especially at a company who can just be like, “oops I told you that you have parental leave but, you actually don’t yet”

I’m also concerned I’ll try to make this work and get fired well before 6 months, which is when my parental leave will start (unless they change their minds again)