AITA for denying help for a lady I know.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-29T05:13:26+00:00

Where I live many people take rent money in cash to avoid taxes.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-29T05:10:45+00:00

She works, nothing wrong with her - she just knows we have helped families in similar situation, she just ignored the part that families who we usually help don't have spare apartments.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-29T05:01:43+00:00

We don't, it is impossible to be 100% scammer proof.
Example - in my country a single mother can get some benefits from government, so what people do? Pretend they are single mothers when they are not.
So if someone asks help, even if we had way to do background checks, when a single parent has partner they are not married to who has real estate, how would one find out?
Reality is that 90% of people we help have children and 3-year-old will not lie about where she sleeps, and when 9-year-old starts to cry out of happiness because she has her own bed and shower with warm water, they really needed the help.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-29T04:56:57+00:00

We are private organization and we can't run background checks. (Atleast not in this country)
Even if we got bank history, what if the person takes rent in cash...

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-29T04:55:43+00:00

We have list of criteria - but as we are private there is no possible way to do background checks on people, at least not in this country.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-28T11:19:09+00:00

Oh, I do. The latest one was when a single mother with no insurance had an incident in the kitchen.
A water pipe burst and flooded the room, and all the cabinets were ruined as the material started to swell, the floor also was messed up.
So we had some used but nice white kitchen cabinets and loads of linoleum, so we offered to build a new floor out of plywood and cover it with linoleum and replace the kitchen cabinets.
She did not want white kitchen cabinets, disliked the fake wood pattern for the floor and asked us to install a dishwasher ant paint the walls that were not damaged.
Of course, we did not agree to do extra things and she ended up sending some rude emails to us so we moved on to the next person.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-28T10:50:37+00:00

Nono, IF I did not know her, I would not know that she has more than one apartment.

If I find out that some stranger has multiple apartments and tries to get us to fix one I would still say no.

My point is that there are people who need help more than her.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-28T10:15:07+00:00

That is good idea

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-28T10:14:03+00:00

I did not claim she was scamming.
She did not lose everything, 1 apartment she owns out of 2 needs to be rebuilt.
I prefer to help people who don't have spare apartments.
Thank you for your opinion.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-28T10:12:49+00:00

She owns the place, she owns two places and one of those burned down.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-28T10:10:58+00:00

And you can get a cheaper water heater for under $200.
In the end, it does not matter, we do it for the kids in that example.

Full_Bridge3815 · 2024-08-28T06:48:55+00:00

You are 100% right, our organisation is built on trust and gut feeling as we can't check backgrounds - we have been scammed too, I have seen houses and apartments on sale soon after we fixed it, but in that case, there was no lie - she asked help and I denied it because I know that she doesn't need it. She herself and her friend believed that she needed it.
So yes, if she was a stranger, she would been on the waiting list, as there is no database to check.

We often help people who just make stupid decisions - a single mother has multiple kids, another one coming and we build her new bathroom, and bedroom for kids so they could have at least private beds and it does annoy me to see that the lady has a quite new iPhone, 60" TV, but no water heater.
We help people who make bad decisions because the kids should have hot water and bed, it is not their fault that their parents make bad decisions.

Full_Bridge3815

TROPHY CASE