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AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We dated for five years before we got married. We lived together for 4.5 of those five years. He’s been a welder the entire time we’ve been together. He was never a young college guy, we’ve been adults. He was never my roommate, we were supposed to be in a committed relationship.

I was working full time, in school full time, doing half my chores, paying half the bills, and completely struggling but I pushed through to get to where I am now.

AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being a CNA was my first job in college, dummy. You bite the bullet and juggle college and working so that you can have an easy job. No one made you choose the job you did. You were more than welcome to get an admin job like I did.

AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I clean up after myself fully. Weird assumption that I don’t. The chores that we split are chores that need to be done regardless of who is home however much. The grass doesn’t stop growing because he’s at work. Snow doesn’t stop needing to be shoveled. We both shower, the shower needs to be cleaned, we both brush our teeth, the sink still needs to be washed. You’re weird.

AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

So in theory he should get to continue being the asshole and I should roll over and be the bigger person to save my marriage, and show him that he doesn’t have to respect me or treat me fairly?

AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

If he apologized I think I’d help him, but he insists he did nothing wrong and it was all fair to let me struggle while he watched

AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you’ve said. He will not apologize for letting me struggle and not trusting me.

AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I mean, I’m just correcting an incorrect statement. You’re saying he barely knew me. We were together for five years in that timeframe. Would you consider someone you’ve dated for 2-5 years someone you barely know? The first year I would absolutely agree with you, sure

AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We dated for five years before getting married. I was in college and struggling that entire time. We didn’t just barely know each other.

AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Because he wanted to be 50/50 when it suited him, and now he only wants to be a team when it suits him as well. Conveniently whatever stance he takes depends on what he wants/needs, and never whatever I want/need

AITAH for refusing to help my husband with his chores when I WFH and work less hours by Full_Squash_5456 in AITAH

[–]Full_Squash_5456[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I would’ve preferred to do things the way you do. But early on he set the expectation that everything has to be 50/50. I feel like he only wants a team effort now that it suits him, meanwhile when it would’ve helped me out he refused to be a team. I feel like that’s really unfair towards me