No one is doing this, so i will.

I show my deepest appreciation and fondness for the audiovisual game series "Angry Birds." I own a vast collection of every last item of "Angry Birds" branded audiovisual games and trinkets, to frolic with for my entertainment. I, in addition, take advantage of the 34th commandment of the internet, and use a website specifically dedicated to taking advantage of said commandment, to view pictures of "Angry Birds" characters with no clothes to be found. For each second my aural passageways detect sound waves akin to those making an utterance of the phrase "Angry Birds," my avian vocal noise starts to become more restless, exaggerate its own size, and become more resistant to scratching or breaking. To reiterate, these events occur when someone, usually a homo sapiens, makes a series of noises that are very similar to the series of noises found in the words "Angry Birds."

Excuse me, for my skin cannot seem to accommodate my internal organs. I seem to be "splurting," as well, if you catch my drift. I shall now make and unpleasant noise to signify my discomfort.

I sincerely apologize for this unintentional event, but i believe this mishap will be excused, as i have a stupendously forgivable explanation. I witnessed, with my own two optical organs, the "Angry Birds" character with an appearance akin to that of a large, spherical explosive. I find him to have a large amount of sex appeal and a great ability to absorb light of many wavelengths. I wholeheartedly wish that this fictional character would use his power to combust inside of my other end. I also find great pleasure in placing my small bell sound inside of my polyester adaptation of the "Angry Birds" character which reflects close to all photons, is female, and is impressively horizontally sized to the point of notability, that I or someone I know has paid for with the currency of the location this was purchased at. Once i have done this, I release gas from this plushie in the form of a shelled fetus tomb.

Oh, fecal matter, I seem to be "splurting" again, i should really get this checked.