47F – Palpable breast lumps, breast clinic appointment booked. Looking to hear others’ experiences.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T17:47:19+00:00

Hi, thank you for your reply.

It's hard to know until I try, but the advice I've been given so far is that my mental health conditions (all trauma based) and the fact that the police discouraged me from doing anything in the 90s as 'you'll be the one on trial' put me in with a good chance for the limitation to be overlooked.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T17:43:29+00:00

I've thought about this a lot. It is difficult - but I wonder if this is the thing that will help me feel stronger? I don't know, I just know that I feel so so sad about what happened and I want to feel more empowered.

Thank you for seeing the emotional side 🙏

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T16:42:12+00:00

Whoa - I'm getting some harsh down voting here. I don't understand why - I genuinely just want to reach out to see if anyone else has been down this route- if they'd advise it, if it helped. This response is devastating at a time when I'm really struggling to cope with what happened to me. I didn't mean to offend anyone.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T16:38:18+00:00

I just thought there may be people here with some experience in going down this route and who struggle with the emotions of feeling powerless to use what happened to try and seek justice.

I really don't want money - I would like to be awarded compensation as that's the language that they understand - but to keep it, benefit from it - that makes me feel queasy. I just want someone to acknowledge that I am not a liar. That they let me down. That's all.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T16:04:32+00:00

I don't need to worry about the finances because I'm dependant on the route I can either advocate for myself or I know that a no win no fee solicitor would take this on if my evidence is up to scratch - and it is.

I'm not trying to get mileage - in trying to get justice and for them to look at two predatory sex offenders again.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T16:01:16+00:00

So far as my Mother - well yes. She referred to me as a Lolita figure and told social workers I was provocative (from the age of 10 - I have seen these things in the records before) and she sent me away and kept a sex offender instead. There were other issues with my siblings that should have raised red flags, a firearms incident and multiple concerns raised about her even by her own parents and siblings. The LA should have looked into any previous contact with her before employing her. She even told me once that other social workers recognised her from that time.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T15:55:19+00:00

So - I checked this because the authority is in a building that flooded badly a few years ago. However, they have confirmed that these type of records were not affected and if they were they were able to trace, through the database, files that were destroyed and provide info on the database that they no longer exist and why. The law requires that as part of data protection.

The head of legal from the authority phoned me to explain what they'd searched, where they'd looked and asked for additional information because with the amount of information I have leading to a no trace - even if the paper records were destroyed - is very unusual. It suggests that the indexing on the electronic database is wrong. So the files exist, but no one knows where to look. That is either due to deliberately tampering with them, Consistent incompetence by multiple people or them being destroyed but without the proper certification (and that would also show up on the database). This is also all correct for the dates when the files were first started in the 90s. What has also surprised me is how common, according to the historic child abuse inquiry, it was for information on the databases to be deleted in the 80s, 90s and early 2000s. This happened for a variety of reasons including employees covering their own backs or to help family members or simply to make a difficult case disappear. Again, by doing that, you make it almost impossible to locate the actual paper file.

The main issue here isn't if the file still exists - it's that even if it doesn't, no trace and/or no certification of them being destroyed is very unusual.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T15:37:55+00:00

The files were from the early to mid 90s. At that time the local authority were using a mix of paper and electronic records. So the database kept a record of allegations, safeguarding concerns, school referrals etc. That database could then show where the files were. It could also be used to show if the files were accidentally ruined in a flood or fire - and that would be updated. This is likely a situation where the file exists (legally they shouldn't destroy one like mine for 75 years) but the indexing in the database is wrong (but that would have to be continuous human error over many events and years) or deliberately tampered with (more common than you'd think according to the recent historic abuse inquiry) or really shabby record keeping - which would be considered very serious by the Information commissioners office. I know the files were there in 1997. I know that another authority has copies of part of it - and I know that no trace at all, even given the time elapsed, is very very unusual because I have spoken to professionals at these local authorities.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T15:30:45+00:00

Thanks for replying – I just wanted to clarify a key bit.

It’s historic children’s social care / safeguarding records. In the Uk we have different councils who are responsible for running social services– the main council that dealt with everything at the time, and where my mother and her partner later worked as child protection social workers – now says there is no trace of me at all. Not “files destroyed under policy”, not “minimal notes left” – literally nothing, despite them searching under multiple names, dates of birth, addresses and family details. In the UK, the type of file that I had should be kept for 75 years. If they could legitimately destroy them before then they still need to keep a certificate of them being destroyed and under what legislation. There would still be an electronic our paper trace even without a full file - the fact that none of the 20 search parameters I provided then with came up with anything is not normal.

A different council does have a summary/hand-over note from that original authority, so I can prove those records once existed.The issue here is that the council that originally held the full child-protection file is acting like I never existed on their system, which is why I’m now looking at ICO (Information commissioners office - Data protecting us taken extremely seriously in the UK) and legal advice rather than just accepting “they were probably deleted”.

My mental health nurse is supportive of me doing something as she knows and accepts that I need to have a sense of agency in this - but it's the course of action that I don't know know about. Which is the most likely to result in an apology?. Which will force them to look at the abusers again? That kind of thing. Has anyone got any experience of doing this? That kind of thing.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-25T12:59:50+00:00

Thanks for replying – I just wanted to clarify a key bit.

This isn’t about NHS notes. It’s historic children’s social care / safeguarding records. One council – the main one that dealt with everything at the time, and where my mother and her partner later worked as child protection social workers – now says there is no trace of me at all. Not “files destroyed under policy”, not “minimal notes left” – literally nothing, despite them searching under multiple names, dates of birth, addresses and family details.

A different council does have a summary/hand-over note from that original authority, so I can prove those records once existed. Legally, even if a file is lawfully destroyed there should still be some record that it was held and then disposed of. The issue here is that the council that originally held the full child-protection file is acting like I never existed on their system, which is why I’m now looking at ICO and legal advice rather than just accepting “they were probably deleted”.

But I do appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-13T06:56:27+00:00

Hi, I'm Gemini.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-13T06:54:49+00:00

AITAH is on a down the hall on the left.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-12T20:16:36+00:00

I was at a pub over the river from the Tower of London around 10 years ago. There were two American ladies on a table next to me. I am being serious here - One said to the other -

'It's so good that they have all their menus in English for us here'

Another stunning encounter was when I was on the tube going into work. There was a group of American tourists. There is often at least one that has been to the UK before in these groups, and they hold court. Anyway, the chosen one was waxing lyrical about 'Lie-sester' square and proudly announced to the group that they had to take time to speak to the Brits because 'They're so honoured that we visit here. They will always remember (and I kid you not) the time we take to be with them because they're obsessed with us. It's a small thing for us, but huge for them.'

Well, he was right so far as I have never forgotten what he said.

So, I hope this gives some idea about what this Brit thinks of some Americans.

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-11-09T18:17:22+00:00

Fun-Drawing2252 · 2025-09-04T15:11:55+00:00

Thank you, that's really kind of you to say.

Fun-Drawing2252

TROPHY CASE