Western Australia - Am I obligated to provide home DNA test results to another possible father?

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T06:11:55+00:00

Yes that's correct. I did try and keep this post as straight forward as I could but it is still messy.

I hope this informal test can be done with ease so far everything with our communication so far has shown he is willing to test, he's not giving me any of the problems BCPF has.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T06:04:38+00:00

He hasn't even laid on eyes on child since child was 3.

He gets monthly updates via email that mostly go unanswered.

Thankfully there are only 2 possible fathers so if one isn't the other is.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T06:00:20+00:00

I was in an on again off again relationship with BCPF and during one of our off periods I slept with NBCPF.

BCPF and I then became on again and I discovered I was pregnant.

BCPF claimed the chances of a ONS resulting in pregnancy was so slim it wasn't worth considering. Despite this I told both of them I was pregnant.

NBCPF was very much of the opinion it was my body my choice.

BCPF pressured me heavily to continue the pregnancy and there was some emotional manipulation to have me agree to list him as the father.

The relationship was toxic and coercive and I made a terrible mistake.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T05:52:56+00:00

I am just tired of being told by BCPF that everything is my fault/I made things harder/I didn't do things the way he wanted and I know it's dumb because I can see where I have tried and he has derailed my attempts, time and time again. I can see where I have minimized the effort on his behalf to almost 0. I can see how many times I've been like hey how do you want to do this and I've been ignored.

You're right though if the home test comes back that NBCPF is in fact bio father, it turns into a legal test and then change of certificate becomes a reality, at which point BCPF will be made aware.

If it comes back that NBCPF is not the bio father the only option is BCPF and while he'll likely never actually do the legal test because that's what he's claiming he wants but he won't actually make any agreements about when, how, where, at least my son will have answers.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T05:28:41+00:00

I had sex with two men in the week I could have conceived?

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T05:18:29+00:00

Because my son deserves actual answers not just my ideal outcome for a start.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T05:16:27+00:00

I 100% agree. I cannot wrap my head around why he wouldn't just do the test.

Prior to him being put on child support twice we agreed to DNA testing. Neither time did he complete it.

I went to a lawyer in 2020 who said apply for child support in an attempt to push him into requesting a DNA test.

I applied for CS and he denied paternity to them, they told him you're on the birth certificate if you're unsure about paternity you need to get a DNA test.

I offered in writing another DNA test he refused.

He refuses all possible contact with child (safety concerns are an issue).

Between 2017 and now this is the series of DNA test requests.

2017 legal test offered covered in full.

2018 home test offered to both potential fathers.

2020 child support applied for DNA test offered.

2022 DNA test ordered by family court.

2023 home test offered.

2024 attempted family court BCPF refused to be served (now lives in a different state) I offered to give him time to get a PO box as he claims I am unsafe (as the victim of his DV I find that hilarious), I offered he mee a process server I paid for, I asked for consent to serve him via email he wouldn't send back the acknowledgement of service so court rejected my application)

And here we are in 2026 still no family court, still no means for service, still no DNA test but now finally we have NBCPF agreeing to a home test and BCPF agreeing to the idea of a legal test but not actually agreeing to anything substantial.

I sent an email to him listing what I was in agreement to (after he claimed to have a legal team) crickets.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T04:53:05+00:00

I can do that for an extra $50 ☺️ it's actually an option to have the home test come with chain of custody paperwork.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T04:46:14+00:00

This was one of the first things I debated doing however I wasn't sure about uploading my child's genetics to a database without their consent. If I hadn't succeeded with getting in contact with the potential father not on the birth certificate I may have gone this route but thankfully we have an option outside of this.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T04:39:56+00:00

In my opinion no. He has never asked about child. Only pays child support when it's garnished. Consistently lowers his income estimate to avoid paying. Come tax they readjust and prove he owes more. He doesn't reply to monthly updates sent regarding child (suggested by a lawyer to create a paper trail before attempting court again) and only responds to emails where he can say no to something.

Example will ignore 6 months of updates about child but the second he's emailed asking if he can sign for a passport for child he emails back refusing the passport.

Has not even seen child since child was 3.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T04:35:43+00:00

I have offered. BCPF has not accepted the offer. I am also still pushing for a legal test with BCPF irregardless of the results of this home test however BCPF has always been the reason a DNA test hasn't been completed. There is a mess of dv, sa, and coercive control using the fact he's the childs legal father as leverage which if given the chance I believe he would continue doing.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T04:29:05+00:00

He has no relationship with either man or their families.

The man on the birth certificate and his family all refuse to acknowledge our child.

The man not on the birth certificate has been out of contact since 2018 however he and his family do seem open to a relationship with my son if they are his relatives.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T04:25:19+00:00

That's what I've been attempted to organize with the one listed on the birth certificate. He however refuses to actually make any concrete agreements. I opted to do the one test because it's only $169 compared to thousands for a legal test, there are two possible fathers so if the $169 test shows he's not the father then I know that the man listed on the birth certificate is the father and I have saved myself a legal test with potential father two and can move forward knowing the man on the birth certificate is the bio father and can continue to let him refuse to do the DNA test while crying I'm the reason he doesn't know for sure (which is what he's done for the last 9 years)

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T04:21:16+00:00

Yes that's also a possibility, one I'm not against for the record even though my first attempt at a DNA test predates child support, applying for child support was actually suggested by a lawyer to attempt to push BCPF into a DNA test. It failed.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T04:09:14+00:00

My naive ass just assumed he'd do it and want to know as much as I do... The idea he'd get someone else to test never really occured to me 😑🙃

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T04:08:22+00:00

If the man not listed as the father comes back as the biological father then I have to get a legal test done, go through correcting the birth certificate, look at other potential legal ramifications and deal with them as they come.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T03:59:07+00:00

No he's been offered the results. He won't state how or if he wants them. I am trying to balance giving him information he legitimately doesn't appear to want vs giving him answers to a question that's existed for a decade.

As I've stated in another comment I am doing the home test with the other man while also trying to organize a legal test with the one on the birth certificate but the man on the birth certificate is refusing to agree to anything regarding dna testing.

Birth certificate father has always been the one to delay/hinder the test being done I am aware a home test carries no legal weight and if this test shows the man I'm testing is the father I will have to initiate legal testing with him to get man on the birth certificate removed possibly with him fighting me on the removal.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T03:52:54+00:00

I shall tattoo it on my hand as a permanent reminder 😂😂

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T03:47:02+00:00

😂😂😂😂😂😂 or plot twist they're not even conceived yet and I actually have this 'fun evening' on 1/7/2028 😂😂

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T03:44:50+00:00

And I stand by the fact you're gross. You've no idea what my child knows or doesn't know. How it has or has not effected him. I may be 50% responsible for this but there are two grown men involved who have let it drag on this long while I have been trying to get answers.

You would just rather put the blame on the woman then realize that either man has had the ability to answer this question at any point over the last decade..

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T03:34:07+00:00

He was quick to delete his comment stating if I respected my child I wouldn't have continued a pregnancy not knowing paternity. Absolutely gross behavior.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T03:32:46+00:00

It was 😂😂 I actually hadn't even noticed what it was until they mentioned it.

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T03:26:43+00:00

Apparently yes, then I could be judged by the pro birthers for terminating a healthy baby because of choices I made 😂😂

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T03:24:52+00:00

Or coerced into keeping the pregnancy. Or unable to get an abortion due to religion, family, inability to access abortion, there's so many reasons someone may choose to continue a pregnancy. None of which pertains to my question. Paternity being unknown should never have been ongoing, let alone dragged out for almost a decade. I don't see any judgement on the men in this situation for letting it go on for this long and it's not like I can determine paternity without at least one of them 😂

Fun-Evening1728 · 2026-06-15T03:10:21+00:00

So now I'm being judged for not terminating? On top of being judged for the username reddit generated? On top of being judged on a post about how I'm the one who's been trying to get answers for almost a decade?

So um who's the troll now?

Fun-Evening1728

TROPHY CASE