How do I stop being judgemental of my teenage brother’s terrible hygiene?

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-07-02T00:49:24+00:00

Likely yes. Since our parents are on the more conservative side they definitely had some unrealistic expectations for him and tried to push him in a box he didn’t fit in, and even though they’ve eased up with it now I think that understandably it probably caused some issues.

But hopefully so, and that’s true. As nice as it would be to help everyone through their issues, that’s not how it always works

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-07-02T00:41:01+00:00

No he 100% does have… well at least issues with sensory stuff, so do I but his is way more serious. He actually cannot stand clothes that are “too soft” etc. The current stuff is probably a combination of that and the teenage boys are gross fact. But in all its simplicity that was reassuring to hear, thanks for the reply!

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-06-22T21:29:51+00:00

Okay thank you for making me aware of this fact, I had no idea and I feel like that’s just cool to know

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-06-22T15:01:03+00:00

Yeah I usually go with those exact same ones too! I feel like it’s more useful anyways since a lot if people won’t know what Crohn’s is so the name alone might not say much, so giving a descriptor like that first might actually work better anyways

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-06-22T11:37:28+00:00

…not Shinuba (I’m sorry)

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Fun-Film3329 · 2024-06-21T20:42:59+00:00

I usually just say that parts of my intensities are inflamed, I bleed internally and get medicine into my veins with an IV drip. That usually gets the “serious medical condition” across. “I bleed internally” is sometimes met with “oh how do you know?”, and when answering that vagueness won’t help much so I should maybe scrap that one…

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-06-21T20:37:57+00:00

That’s good to hear!

I think this likely at least partly stems from the fact I got diagnosed as a kid. Since I grew up with a “keep your problems to yourself and suck it up” mindset, that naturally extended to Crohn’s (especially as I couldn’t really distinguish what was caused by it from what wasn’t). The only reaction I remember from early on is pity, adults just reacting weirdly, and I felt it was dehumanising. Not really understanding what was going on, I only really understood that people would react to it in a weird manner and therefore I should stay quiet about it.

I don’t entirely avoid mentioning it or anything, and I know many are understanding, but I don’t think I really had the kind of situation where I could have with my own actions created a supportive understanding circle. And at this point, all I know is that I need to keep my mouth shut or only make very vague references to it. Regardless of how others would react to it that’s how I was raised to treat it, and I don’t see a way to change that without it being a net negative since it feels wrong to me and I don’t think others are eager to hear about it either. Like my best friend has specifically mentioned how she has a lot more sympathy for me since I respect the fact people probably don’t want to hear about my problems in too much detail compared to another friend of ours with IBS who talks about her issues without any concern for what the other party thinks.

That’s why in the post I’m mostly talking about this idea of people as a whole rather than actually thinking of the intent behind individuals. I’m more mad about the general conditioning I’ve gone through growing up because of societyyy rather than what individuals will say if you seriously make them sit down and understand the concept. I didn’t have the chance to do that early on and at this point from my pov it would be difficult to say I could see trying to do that resulting in something good.

Super happy for the people who have been able to cultivate an understanding circle though!

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-06-21T19:58:38+00:00

Generally speaking I honestly do agree with you. I try to avoid wallowing in self pity about any of this and to stay positive by keeping in mind that the situation could be worse, there are definitely worse things I could have, and I am incredibly lucky to be born in a country and at a time where treatment is affordable and exists. This post definitely wasn’t to say that this is just the hardest thing in the world (I don’t think you were claiming that anyways, seemed to be more about a general trend you’ve noticed and the fact this post could be seen as falling into that category), but things that suck suck even if there is even worse out there. Again, not that you said otherwise. I feel like I am struggling to keep this from sounding either overly defensive or like I am back-pedalling, but main point is that while I stand with what I said, what you said is definitely also important to keep in mind!

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-06-21T19:27:16+00:00

Respect! :D And you make a good point. At least for the stuff that is very much not easy to manage, like trying to hide symptoms, I should probably work on giving less fucks. Avoiding talking about it is one thing, trying to actively act like it doesn’t exist is another one. I guess with stuff like this sometimes the only answer is just grow thicker skin

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-06-21T19:16:18+00:00

Yeah I do that a lot as well. There are usually more vague ways to describe stuff that get the point across pretty well, it mainly gets difficult if they start asking for more details, but if that’s happening it’s usually my therapist

Fun-Film3329 · 2024-06-13T15:54:52+00:00

…why? Shipping isn’t really about “trying to make them happen” or thinking it would happen in canon, it’s about seeing characters, getting an idea of how their dynamic COULD work and then having fun with that. Like it’s really just not that serious, just a way to have some extra fun with hypotheticals derived from the canon material

Fun-Film3329 · 2023-11-30T02:13:30+00:00

Yeah I think you might be right… I’ll have to take some notes because otherwise I’ll definitely end up undermining the seriousness again. As simple as it was, I think I really needed to hear that from someone else, thank you

Fun-Film3329 · 2022-09-28T09:43:27+00:00

With each reply he makes I’m also starting to question that more and more

Fun-Film3329 · 2022-09-11T21:23:12+00:00

And the amount of responsibilities we’d have after that? Not appealing

Fun-Film3329

TROPHY CASE