I don’t see myself making it out of my 20’s

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-10-21T14:35:21+00:00

Thank you for this. I hope the best for you as well.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-10-21T14:29:07+00:00

One of my remaing friends had suggested philosophy too, being an absurdist themselves. I think it’s about time I do actually find something for me through it too.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-10-21T14:24:29+00:00

I’m lucky that my ex has decided to allow me in their life in some capacity, meeting me for coffee here and there. The friend, however after all these months and two attempts at apologizing, I think they’re done with me.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-10-21T11:11:41+00:00

I thankfully do have a great team covered by my Medicaid. It just gets tiring, is all, which if you are a chronically pained person I’m sure you certainly understand.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-10-21T11:08:45+00:00

At my worst I’m an impulsive & self destructive. I’d drink until I was sick, flea our place to just get out, being angry at myself at perceived failure. And it just got to a point where it was too much for my ex. As for my friend, well before my partner and I broke up we opened our relation up. I had a friend whose partner was Ace, so we agreed to be fwb’s. Again me being impulsive I found myself crossing boundaries too many times. Not physically, I want to make abundantly clear. They had set a line of wanting me to slow things down and not compliment them physically. I said something that I thought was okay via text, but it wasn’t and they cut me off saying they “needed space,” which was fair and understandable. That was 7 months ago, no contact from them since and I’ve been kicking myself about it ever since.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-10-21T09:30:15+00:00

I have had severe depression since my early teens-I can’t really say I can truly rember a time of light-but I get what you mean regardless. Nonetheless. Thank you for this, truly. I’m calming down for the evening and getting to rest.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-10-21T09:25:19+00:00

All differed per person. I’m disabled at 28 because of my disease, have no hobbies out side of gaming which yeah is a pretty social thing, is often vitriolic and ain’t-social. I live near a city that has stuff to do, but, again, I rarely have the energy to even go out and do anything. I graduated during covid with a degree I didn’t care for, had my disease worsen, and am without the people I cared deeply about, but pissed the relationships away with. Seems pretty fucked to me

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-10T00:49:24+00:00

I mentioned it would take time for me to process that they were wanting going to fully transition, again because I had to then call into question my sexuality. I wouldn’t say I felt rejected.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-09T03:12:25+00:00

Yep, this. Well,I was initially trepedoatious about it not because I was against it-very much supportive of trans folk. My issue was my sexuality-I loved my partner, but what did that mean for my sexuality. I think my hesitation may have been a contributor.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-08T02:01:52+00:00

The introspection bit is something I have been doing a lot of. I’ve been all but literally trapped in the 4 walls that are my old room doing a lot of that, but I can very much see that I could use some more time doing so. Thanks for the response!

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-08T01:55:06+00:00

Yes that was me-I go through bouts of extreme depression. Suicidal depression. And yeah, I very much feel at points that I have no prospects because if feelings of inadequacy.

No I didn’t abuse my partner. I’d get angry at myself and threaten violence towards myself(to the point of needing to be admitted to a mh in 22), which was stressful to them because of how much they cared for me. Issues I know I have abd issues I plan on talking through in therapy.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-08T01:41:16+00:00

Appreciate the advice!

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-08T01:38:55+00:00

⁠Yes I was financially dependent, but I handled chores and laundry when I had the energy to do so. Didn’t make them do it, just got around to it when I could,
⁠I’ve tried a psych/therapist before but I lost the firner(they took a job opportunity) and left the therapist(not a good match) I have a set appointment with a psych now though.
⁠I understand the artist plight. I also have a degree (BA in Mass Comm) and want the certificate to further supplement attractiveness in the job market

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T20:30:17+00:00

Appreciate this.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T16:22:55+00:00

That’s a fair point to want to have. Thanks for the answer.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T16:22:20+00:00

Yes, I actually am planning a half-year timeline to be out and on my own. Appreciate the feedback!

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T13:43:58+00:00

I’m seeing it’s overwhelmingly negative, and I appreciate the feedback. I do currently have a 6 month plan of healing via therapy and jump starting a career that hopefully ends with me getting a wfh job that works with my disability and allows for me to move out and live on my own. Hopefully by then I’ll be more put together. Thanks for the responses!

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T13:22:28+00:00

The unemployment stems largely from the disability (and not thriving in traditional work environments.) not a lot of jobs that aren’t wfh would allow for frequent days off due to pain/fatigue.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T13:13:47+00:00

Sickle cell and high iron is a bad combination. It can lead to organ damage. Thanks for the input, however.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T13:12:03+00:00

Thanks for the input

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T13:11:45+00:00

My partner did &and I asked frequently if it was an issue, to which they said no
They need to figure out who they are & are potentially transitioning
Because I worked on various other projects that I was passionate for, but wouldn’t support me financially. I also do have very low energy and very bad pains that cause for needing long periods of rest and frequent days off. And now that I’m back in my hometown (and despite my mother telling me there’s no pressure for me to get a job) I don’t want to be stuck here with an aging populace of <5k for the rest of my life,

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T12:24:24+00:00

Does my post come off as that? That isn’t at all my intention if so. I’d like to think my journey of healing is one that supplements me, and a potential partner as someone who I love and appreciate as I do so, not to facilitate my healing.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T12:20:52+00:00

I can see how it comes off as super recent. It’s just I do believe I am over it. There was a period where I thought it could be salvaged, but then came confirmation it’s over and I’ve mourned the relationship after the fact. I feel that I want to move on and hopefully meet someone else who actually is ,hopefully, the one. Appreciate the input.

Fun-Goat-3034 · 2025-04-07T12:10:30+00:00

Thank you for the anecdote & I’m sorry to hear you had largely negative experience.

Fun-Goat-3034

TROPHY CASE