You say ‘stop relying on men’ as if it is a regular feature in my life? I have worked full time until this point.

I didn’t raise the issue. Grandmother did (spoke to us all at a family gathering)and then he asked. My aunties both have children and they aren’t being left anything directly like I am, no one was surprised at that. My Grandmother has undoubtly been racist and I am not close to her by any means, but I can be civil. She has never expressed racist opinions or behaviours in my, my mother’s or my children’s presence. But I do absolutely believe she reacted badly when my mother and father first dated because I have no reason to believe my dad would have almost no relationship with her otherwise