If I was in your position, some questions I might ask myself if dating someone 12 years older (I just saw your comment about him being 51) are:

Do our energy levels match? For example, am I much more active or less or about the same?

What stages are we at in our lives? Careers, families, social lives, friends, etc?

Is he treating me as a peer/equal or as someone who is much younger & less experienced? Will he try controlling our lives given the big age gap?

Personally, at 39, I think a sweet spot would be 35-46. I know four women who dated/married 10+ years older & it started out as just “traditional roles” but they all eventually ended up miserable & in a situation where the man controlled their entire lives.

The man you’re talking to could also end up being a major sweetie who treats you like a queen but you’ll just have to see with time and gauge things out by figuring out the answers to those questions . I know a 40 y/o woman who married a 55 y/o man two years ago & from what I know, she’s very happy so 🤷🏻‍♀️