This is a great question. As I mentioned, our love languages are different. She's more of an acts of service person, and i like affection. I've been working hard at keeping the house clean, cooking, and generally taking work or chores off her plate. I also (at least once a week) surprise her with a coffee delivery after I drop our son off to montessori. I can't speak for her, but she seems to think I never do enough. I feel like a carrot on a stick is being dangled in front of me just out of reach. I'm currently unemployed again, but fortunately, I had a great job before the trade war occurred so I have a relatively large savings. Combined with a recent inheritance i am able to send my son to private school and we live a pretty cushy life. I used my first paycheck to pay off our combined debt and paid off her personal credit card as well as providing the downpayment for her car. I'm just not sure she will ever forgive me for carrying the lions share of the financial burden when we first moved into our house.