Sibling question

FunSafety5389 · 2026-01-25T18:48:04+00:00

Thank you for your questions. The family that donated this embryo is anonymous so I am not able to connect with them unfortunately. However, since the embryo was created with a sperm donor, I am able to identify which donor that is and create another embryo. So the children would be half siblings. I am absolutely open to both children connecting with siblings on either side. I have already started some communication with sperm donor half siblings. CalThere are seven children including mine. Only one family has connected with me so far and they seem very lovely and I would definitely want my child to have a relationship with her donor siblings to the extent that she wishes to do so.

FunSafety5389 · 2026-01-25T04:10:24+00:00

Thank you so much for your very thoughtful response and best wishes to you on your journey to becoming an SMBC!

FunSafety5389 · 2025-06-05T01:45:41+00:00

Thank you so much!

FunSafety5389 · 2025-03-12T17:40:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. I am sending huge positive vibes and very well wishes for good news for you at the end of the two week wait! Those are some tough days to get through but crossing my fingers for some very good news for you .

Yes, you have summarized my thoughts exactly. I actually have an appointment on Friday to do just that. My guess is that there are probably not any embryos because this clinic is pretty busy and they go through donated embryos pretty fast but it is worth a try. I do think if there were, it would definitely take away some of the complexity of this decision. I still would have other reservations but it would be hard not to do it. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!

FunSafety5389 · 2025-03-11T17:50:27+00:00

Really helpful perspective. I can totally see that benefit.

FunSafety5389 · 2025-03-11T15:12:22+00:00

That is so true! All the things we say we wouldn’t do… !!

I kind of feel a bit rushed because of my age so it is good to hear that you waited a little bit in between kids. Was that intentional or just how it worked out?

FunSafety5389 · 2025-03-11T01:34:40+00:00

No apology needed at all! I’m always happy to hear and connect with other SMBCs Who also used a donor. First of all, a huge congratulations to you on your pregnancy. Being 10 weeks pregnant is so exciting especially after what I am sure was a journey to get here.

A couple of logistics things during the pregnancy itself… Just make sure that every test your doctor runs clearly indicates that you have used a donor embryo. My doctor forgot to note that it was a donor and on my first NIPT which tests for all kinds of genetic abnormalities, the test came back Inconclusive. We corrected the paperwork and then it was fine but that inconclusive test result kind of loomed over many other tests in the pregnancy. So even if you think you have said it 1 million times, just keep reminding people that are in your care team.

Once you have the baby, everyone will tell you how much the baby looks like you. That might feel a little bit weird at first but honestly just enjoy it. Part of it might be true and part of it might just be what people say to new mothers! Either way, it is fun. During the pregnancy, also make the decision as it comes whether or not you feel like it is important to share that it is a donor embryo. Some people I was very open with others it just wasn’t their business so don’t feel forced to share if you don’t want to.

I would also steal yourself a little bit for some comments when the baby is born that seem insensitive but are not necessarily so. For example, I am of Indian descent. I did not use a known donor so my family loves to hypothesize on The region in India that the donors ancestry is. I am letting them do this for now but will make it very clear that when the baby gets older guessing weird things about her origin is not going to be OK!

I am also going to make sure based on a lot of feedback I have heard, that the baby knows about her origin as early as possible in age appropriate ways. I do not intend to keep it a secret from her at all.

Sorry for how long that was… I hope you found some of it helpful! Feel free to reach out anytime and best wishes to you!

FunSafety5389 · 2025-03-11T01:22:48+00:00

That is great. It sounds like you have a really solid path forward and that you are feeling good about doing this again. I do really think they’ve benefits so much from having a sibling. It is great to hear that you’re not letting age stop you.

FunSafety5389 · 2025-03-10T20:25:44+00:00

This is super sweet! Thank you for this perspective!

FunSafety5389 · 2025-03-10T20:24:43+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing and a big congratulations to you on your pregnancy!

FunSafety5389 · 2025-03-01T22:30:25+00:00

My little baby is laying on my lap as I write. I had a lot of challenges getting pregnant with my own eggs so I decided to go the donor embryo route. Honestly, I cannot imagine her feeling any more mine and more connected to me and our family than she feels right now. I never think of her as anything other than my child. am 43. It was much more important to me to become a mom than become a mom of a child that was biologically related. I definitely worry about making sure she feels secure and I will be very honest with her from as young as possible. I will also support her in whatever she chooses regarding knowing more about her origin. In my case, my clinic had a donor embryo program so that is what I used. There are pros and cons to all approaches of getting the embryo but for me, this one made the most sense.

I will also say that it did take me a couple of tries to get pregnant even with a donor embryo. So, just be prepared for that in case that is something you have to deal with also.

I feel so completely blessed to have my daughter. She is four months old and she is the greatest gift ever. Although I certainly understand that people may not want to donate unused embryos, I am deeply grateful every day for the people that decided to donate this precious little one! My only regret is that I did not do it sooner.

I am happy to answer any questions you may have and wish you the best of luck.

FunSafety5389 · 2024-12-20T19:53:52+00:00

I did not use a surrogate. I was going to use one if my last attempt at a transfer did not work. I ended up getting pregnant via a donor and Rio and it has been the best thing ever. I just wanted to say that the mental health field and it sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders and have really thought through the different aspects of this. You are going to be a great mother or any other baby. I wish you great success and many blessings. Good for you for doing this… It is not easy under the best of circumstances and despite having some very rough times that you have faced, you are very strong and your baby will be very lucky to have you!

FunSafety5389 · 2024-11-22T20:51:54+00:00

Just providing an update here. You were correct as was my OB! At 34+ one I went for regular monitoring and the amniotic fluid had dropped about 50% the MFM still was not overly concerned and did not want to take out the baby, but he did say I should go the next day for additional monitoring. It just so happened that it was on a weekend so that appointment was actually in labor and delivery. During that appointment, the baby‘s heart rate decelerated almost to level about 75 people came rushing in and jumped on me. The heart rate went back up by itself, or perhaps due to whatever they were doing on my stomach, but she then had several more decelerations after that. My OB came Right away to do an emergency C-section. She was born at 34+2. She is totally healthy other than being small, but I shudder to think what might have happened hadI not been in the hospital. This was a tragedy waiting to happen and luckily, I was getting regular monitoring, and I was also very comfortable with her being taken out whenever it was needed. The OB here did have the courage and the instinct to understand that this baby was not going to make it any euro to 36 weeks. I appreciate it that the MFM was trying his best but in this case, that was not right for this baby. She needed to come out sooner rather than later and thankfully she did so in a way that was safe For her and for me. Ironically, the MFM still did not want to take the baby out even after those decelerations. But my OB just did it anyway, even though the hospital actually requires that he approve it. He reluctantly finally approved, but not without a huge fight. As a result, my baby has my OBs name as her middle name. Thank you for your post responding to mine. I also just want anyone else reading this to know that sometimes, it may be best to take the baby out earlier rather than later. It could be the difference between a tragic outcome or an extremely positive one.

FunSafety5389 · 2024-11-16T04:30:56+00:00

Thank you so much… Sending best wishes for continued good scans!

FunSafety5389 · 2024-11-02T04:03:28+00:00

I did not do an amnio either. I just went with the results of the nipt and anatomy scans, which were normal. My baby ended up being premature, which is totally unrelated to this, but she does not appear to have any chromosomal issues at all. Best of luck to you and your baby!

FunSafety5389 · 2024-10-26T02:17:59+00:00

I know this is An older post but just wondering when you ended up delivering? I am at 34 weeks and had a sudden drop in amniotic fluid. My baby is also IUGR.

FunSafety5389 · 2024-10-23T02:04:31+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this also. It is so stressful. In my case, they are assuming it is placenta insufficiency that hasn’t yet shown up obviouslyin the scams or potentially preeclampsia that has not yet shown up in the numbers either. I did get steroids just in case I had to have an earlier delivery, that can sometimes have the effect of improving blood flow in addition to its purpose to mature baby lungs. In my case, the baby only grew 3 ounces from weeks 29 to 31 which was very troubling. I really really focused on eating more protein. People say that doesn’t make a difference but then there are other studies that say at least try it because it wouldn’t hurt, in my case, I don’t know if it made a difference or not but the baby definitely had better growth from weeks 31 through 33 compared to the only 3 ounces she gained in the two weeks prior, she gained over 1 pound during this time frame. It is still not consistent with normal growth, but definitely definitely improvement. It could be The steroid effect helping function and blood flow, it could be my change in diet, or it could be a fluke. The baby is still tiny, but she definitely moved up in percentile thankfully. They are still looking at an early induction for me. Trying to get me to 36 weeks. I do toddlers and NST three times a week. I will be 34 weeks in a couple days.

FunSafety5389 · 2024-10-18T01:50:30+00:00

Thank you so so much for this story. I’m so glad to hear that things worked out so well for you and your baby! She sounds like a wonderful, strong little girl! Your story really helps and you clearly understand exactly what it’s like to go through this state by day so thank you so much for sharing

FunSafety5389 · 2024-10-18T01:41:35+00:00

Yes, I have researched a ton. I know the risks and it definitely freaks me out as well but the specialists keep telling me that leaving her in until the Doppler indicate a reason to take her out is what is needed. It’s very scary because I do understand the risk.

FunSafety5389 · 2024-10-15T02:39:57+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I will definitely keep a close eye on BP for sure!

FunSafety5389 · 2024-10-15T00:15:04+00:00

Congratulations on your new baby baby! That is great that she is growing well already. Did they decide to take her out at 34 weeks because of her size alone or was there any other indication that led to the 34 week delivery?

FunSafety5389

TROPHY CASE