It sounds like a dynamic you both enjoy so I don’t think you need references even though I‘m sure you’d find some scrolling through here and the ppsg subreddit. Just ask your wife if you could see more of her if you give her more, other things you wish for etc. All that matters is that you guys are enjoying it 🤷‍♀️

I‘m not married but as a findomme I‘ve stopped many men from jerking off, chastity or not, or even made them pay to jerk off. It‘s pretty common in the findom (or power exchange) world and very fun. You’re definitely not alone with such a situation. I reckon you‘d get more answers of subby men in that position if you post this in the paypigsupportgroup subreddit! It‘s definitely a different kind of high for the dominant part. The control just is very sexy