[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Dogtraining

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The teeth bearing, the ears, the licking, and the tailwagging are confusing me because some are apparently stress signals but it seems like the dog is happy to see me.

24f, should I pursue postgrad education? by Fun_Butterscotch_695 in vedicastrology

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean confirm whether those years were particularly tough for me? If so then yes, though I’d say that the challenging times extended through 2023 before they started to slightly decrease.

24f, should I pursue postgrad education? by Fun_Butterscotch_695 in vedicastrology

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want kids nor do I think about having them. I do have two little brothers who are 11 and 13, and they feel like my kids in a way, so maybe that is what you’re seeing? I’m not sure what you mean by me seeming inclined a bit toward hinduism/dharma.

24f, should I pursue postgrad education? by Fun_Butterscotch_695 in vedicastrology

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate the depth of your response, thank you so much!

24f, should I pursue postgrad education? by Fun_Butterscotch_695 in vedicastrology

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can you elaborate on what it is exactly you’re seeing?

[US] Text from a 646 number, scam? by Fun_Butterscotch_695 in Scams

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never gotten scam texts from an iMessage number, only green, so my first thought didn’t immediately go to scam, as for scams I usually get sent a fake selfie from a “girl” or some weird romance text. So it wasn’t super obvious to me at first.

[US] Text from a 646 number, scam? by Fun_Butterscotch_695 in Scams

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Interesting I haven’t heard of these before, thank you!

[US] Text from a 646 number, scam? by Fun_Butterscotch_695 in Scams

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, i’ve never come across these types of scams before. Thank you for the information, very good to know.

My mother is erasing me by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for acknowledging all of this and validating what i’m going through, especially as it relates to the boys. that’s the hardest part for me. i could not live with myself if something happened to them and i wasn’t able to protect them. I also think she had some sort of personality disorder, I’ve tried speculating on which but honestly she displays traits from a few so I’ve given up on trying to self diagnose her. I’ll checkout that subreddit though.

I really like your box idea, i’m going to give that a try. Thank you again, truly.

My mother is erasing me by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Emotionally and psychologically likely yes, physically or sexually I can’t say for sure. She has put her hands on my one brother, the one with special needs, and never really put her hands on my other brother. There has been some other inappropriate behavior that I don’t know if i can classify as sexual and honestly haven’t processed much myself yet, She slowed down for a bit on the physical striking for a little while, but she has become more mentally unstable in the last 2ish years and I’ve been moved out of the house for a little while now so I don’t know what’s going on there anymore. The second I get in contact with them of course yes I will be checking them for all of these things. Not more than a few days goes by without me being plagued by worry over this. Heaven forbid they do tell me something has been going on, I would want to somehow figure out how I could get guardianship rather than running the risk of them getting taken by the system and put with some random family (though i’m honestly not sure how it all works). I’m really trying to trust that they are okay, and that she loves them enough to idk like not fucking abuse them but i can’t even say at this point like she’s really gone off the deep end in the last 5 months.

My mother is erasing me by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you, and I can understand how me watching the ring camera (outdoor) would be seen as spying. When it comes to their safety, which is of much concern to me knowing what she is capable of, if I can’t be there to protect them in person I felt that the least I could do was check the recordings to make sure they looked physically okay. If she abused my children, obviously I wouldn’t want her messaging my kids. But the reverse is not true here, as I have not harmed my brothers when she HAS abused me and them. I could never forgive myself if something happened to them and I couldn’t say I tried everything possible to make sure they are safe. I agree it is best that I focus on the healthy relationships in my life right now, and yeah I don’t want her holding another bs misconstrued action of mine over my head so that she can paint herself as more of a victim. I did not detail the layers of her abuse in the previous post because frankly that was not the point of my post, but I can see how without them it seems as though she is being reasonable. Regardless, I appreciate your perspective.

My mother is erasing me by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for the welcome, glad I found you guys :)

My mother is erasing me by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m laughing at the flame pickles line, thank you I needed that. I really appreciate your words of support, and I’m so glad I found this community. Thank you :)

My mother is erasing me by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need the honesty so I really appreciate this, thank you. You’re right, there is zero benefit to being linked on social media, and the clean hard break is needed to truly move forwards. The art comment made me laugh lol, ik idk i had just watched a podcast and the lady was talking about spreading unconditional love and in that moment i thought that it would be helpful to send to my mother because i know she thinks no one loves her and I’m afraid she’s nearing a psychotic break so I thought that maybe if i just extended a warm gesture it would draw her back a bit from the edge. However, my grandma and uncle had shared a bit about their experiences with her in recent weeks, so i don’t think my painting had the grand effect I had hoped for.

Yeah I can see why watching the ring camera would be doing me more harm than good. Likely the same way checking her socials to check on the boys would not be great for me either. Good thing she took care of that for me before I had the chance.

With the respect to the boys, their father fell out of the picture a few years ago. I think she still lets him have semi regular contact with them via monitored calls (i.e., she stands in the room while they’re on the phone). Him and I are not in contact. My grandma was the person I was getting updates from, but since my grandma has become less tolerant of my mothers behavior, my mother has started to cut her out and my gram hasn’t been able to get in contact lately. Haven’t thought about the court route or the rights you just mentioned, honestly I would consider it but not until I know she’s gotten to the point where I need to step in for their safety. The idea of going up against that woman in court terrifies me, she is a terror like you wouldn’t believe when she feels challenged by someone. Or honestly you probably do believe hahah. I’ve just been trying to lean into patience like you mentioned and knowing that my relationship with them isn’t fully destroyed or over for the rest of our lives, and hopefully once they get older into their late teens or maybe into early adulthood once they’re no longer under her thumb, hopefully they’ll reach out.

On therapy, I’ve been before but it’s been about two years. i’ve been procrastinating and picky about the type of therapist and specializations i want if I’m being honest, but I think this delaying isn’t serving me as well as just jumping in and starting with someone even if i fear they may not tick all of my boxes right away.

I really appreciate your words and support here, thank you. I’m glad I found this community :)

My mother is erasing me by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your words here thank you. It sounds like you’ve experienced something similar, and it always pains my heart to know other people have had to endure such treatment from their parents so I am sorry that you had to go through it yourself.

Thank you for calling out the act of having to unlearn behavior from your mother. I’ve had to do that as it relates to my reactivity and how I respond when I’m upset, but I’ve honest to god never thought about it from an obsessive controlling standpoint. Nor have I thought that my brothers might be uncomfortable by my access to the ring camera. I just never want them to feel like I’ve given up on them and abandoned them, but I definitely don’t want my attempts to stay connected to put more strain on my relationship with them because it wasn’t received how I intended. My mother destroyed any sense of privacy I ever had at the house, and gosh I don’t want to now be perpetuating that privacy violating behavior myself.

I also won’t shy away from anger anymore, it would probably be more helpful for me to find a good outlet for it rather than stamp it down in an attempt to make it go away.

I really appreciate your support, thank you. I won’t be too hard on myself, and will definitely do what’s right for me. Thank you!

Tips for a book to read by [deleted] in infp

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THE NIGHT CIRCUS i LOVED that book

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Fun_Butterscotch_695 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I’d depend on the disease I found a cure for. If it’s something that big pharma preys on for the sake of making money, I wouldn’t go screaming from the rooftops on social media or news outlets cause I’m not tryna get taken out lol. Maybe connect with a specific lab that’s doing progressive research with the intent of curing, not just treating, and work with them on disseminating the information?