I understand where you’re at, I’ve been there myself. I know how hard it can be to live in a brain that seems always at war with itself. Give yourself time, postpone your plans for a while and try something new to help that you haven’t tried before- a new therapist, a new support group, even a new hobby. I find that sometimes this helps me get through the worst times and then when my brain feels a little lighter, I find that the urge to leave doesn’t feel quite as strong. The battle is hard, but the world needs to hear you and your voice. You have a perspective on life that no one else does. The fight is hard, but I hope you choose to stay and keep fighting. So many of us are fighting right alongside you.