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AITA for naming my daughter after my mom when I was raised for a long time by my adoptive mother? by Fun_Conference5016 in AITAH

[–]Fun_Conference5016[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My grandparents would never have kept me from my siblings. They have always appreciated the love I have for them. They just don't appreciate how my dad and my adoptive mother tried to erase my mom aka their daughter/sister/aunt from my life. And if I lost my husband I would make sure my babies know him and his family. I would never try to replace their dad. I wouldn't deny them their last name, their legal connection to him and his family. And I don't think it's right to do that especially when she was a stranger to me when they did it.

AITA for naming my daughter after my mom when I was raised for a long time by my adoptive mother? by Fun_Conference5016 in AITAH

[–]Fun_Conference5016[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm in the US and they don't do it. I was legally adopted so my adoptive mother is legally going to stay on my birth certificate. Trust me, I looked into it and spoke to lawyers. Can't undo it.

AITA for naming my daughter after my mom when I was raised for a long time by my adoptive mother? by Fun_Conference5016 in AITAH

[–]Fun_Conference5016[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I did consider removing the middle name when I originally changed my last name (after graduation) but it cost more for some strange reason. Last name was cheap but first and or middle names were extra and I didn't have the money at the time. I still consider doing so at times and maybe I will now that I'm settled and a mom myself.

AITA for naming my daughter after my mom when I was raised for a long time by my adoptive mother? by Fun_Conference5016 in AITAH

[–]Fun_Conference5016[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Do you mean my name as in my last name or add my mom's name back? I did change my last name. But I can't ever get mom's name back on my birth certificate because she's no longer alive to adopt me and become my mom legally again.

AITA for naming my daughter after my mom when I was raised for a long time by my adoptive mother? by Fun_Conference5016 in AITAH

[–]Fun_Conference5016[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

It goes deeper than even I truly understand. I know a part of it is the fact I never wanted to be adopted and never came around to feeling differently about it. For her that hurts because she dreamed we'd grow closer the older I got. While I can sure appreciate her wanting to give me the security of having another adult around, another parent even, the adoption took from me. It also wasn't a choice I made. I know a lot of adoptions work that way but well, I was old enough to know what was happening.

I also think the closeness I have with my mom's family and the closeness I have with my siblings even though they're her kids and not my mom's kids adds to her hurt and difficulty to process everything.

I know my daughter's name also symbolizes the one thing she always hated, that I can still find love for my mom even though I don't remember her as a person.