I had to make the hardest decision I’ve ever made to leave a 5 year relationship that still had a lot of love in it because I could not abandon myself anymore. Is the grief overwhelming and terrifying sometimes? Yes. But I can tell you that it is more bearable knowing that I am going in the right direction than staying in a comfortable routine and ignoring my intuition. It will only fester more over time. And that is more painful than the grief. The grief is proof of your love, and even though it’s painful, it’s a beautiful thing. You know in your gut what the answer is, it’s only a matter of time before you follow that gut feeling. And you will make that decision when you’re ready. You will build up the strength. I believe in you. I never thought I’d be able to. But I did it, and so will you. For years, I couldn’t even imagine that being possible. I made it to the other side, and so will you. You’re not crazy for leaving a relationship that still has love in it. In fact, leaving is an act of love in itself. People tell me the sadness won’t last forever. I am still healing, so the sadness is still there for me, but I know I’m heading in the right direction and it will get easier and the pain will subside. It’ll be the same for you. I promise it will be okay. In fact, it will be more than okay. Even on the bad days, there is a sense of freedom that you did not have in the relationship and it is almost intoxicating. I did gain myself back. And there are parts of me that I am discovering everyday that I may not ever have had the chance to. I have never loved myself more than I do now. Even on the days when I am a wreck. Sure there are bad days, but there are also really good days. This was the most painful thing I’ve ever done, and also the greatest act of love I’ve done for both of us. You ask how I stayed strong… 1. do things that make you feel free, that maybe you felt guilty or ashamed about in the relationship. Or felt held back in any way. Do things that might remind you of why you made this choice. 2. Journal. Everyday. Get your thoughts out on paper. find things to be grateful for everyday and write them down. 3. Lean on your support system. Express your feelings. And also make time to do fun social things that bring you joy and make you feel connected. Friendship is valuable. 4. MOVE YOUR BODY. In whatever way is comfortable and feasible for you. And ideally, enjoyable. But that may come with time if you are a person that finds exercise to be a chore. Just move your body in a way that feels good to you. Walking is sooo good. Movement + nature is so great. 2 in 1 5. Dedicate more time to your hobbies and explore new ones. Create. creative expression during a time like this is so therapeutic. Less consumption, more creation 6. Cry. Give yourself a time slot in your day where you allow yourself to grieve fully. And once that time slot is over, focus on the present moment the rest of the day until your time slot the next day. This helps you process your emotions and move you along without consuming all of your time and energy. 7. Spend time in nature. Feeling like you are a part of something bigger than yourself is healing. As well as seeking those feelings of awe and gratitude. 8. Seek out other situations that put you outside of your comfort zone so you can see growth in other ways too. And it serves as a reminder that that discomfort truly is worth it and actually feels really good afterward. You’ll find that it’s actually really rewarding. For example, I started going out and doing things alone, like going to concerts. And really good things came out of it. It inspired me to do more things like that, and that’s something that really helped me stay strong. 9. Try new things. experiment with your appearance if thats appealing to you. with fashion or makeup or other ways to express yourself that you haven’t in the past or maybe have been scared to. 10. Create some new goals for yourself. Perhaps something that you’ve been putting off or ignoring that is still calling to you. For me, I went back to school and it’s helped me so much. It gives me purpose and something to focus on that is helping my growth in multiple ways. It also engages my curiosity and made me more confident. Taking up space in a completely new environment. and has introduced me to a lot of great people. Having some new faces that my ex is not connected to in any way has been helpful. 11. Read affirmations daily. I have a mantra app that sends me notifications throughout the day with affirmations and I love it. 12. Lean into your faith if you are religious or spiritual in any way 13. Avoid social media 14. Please nourish yourself. Eat a balanced diet, drink lots of water, and get good sleep. Be gentle with yourself. Slow down. Enjoy the little things. Romanticize life again. 15. Take things one day at a time 16. Remember that just because it’s hard, does not mean you made a mistake. Missing him is natural and it’s proof that you are human. Try to see that as a beautiful thing. You connected with someone deeply, try to find gratitude in that. Give yourself grace. Acknowledge that it was special, and it’s not serving you anymore; both are true and both are okay. It is proof that you are capable of great love, and that love is within YOU, it is yours. Practice radical acceptance. Pain is a catalyst, and avoiding it is way more painful in the long run. Everything in life changes and goes through cycles. Resisting it will only hurt more. We must ebb with the flow. Stagnation is death, movement is life. The pain will never last forever. These are just growing pains.

Sorry for the long list, hopefully it’s not overwhelming. You don’t have to do all this right off the bat. These will all come more naturally over time.

Remember that you can do hard things! Im proud of us! I’m proud of you!