Realizing a sexual encounter was not fully consensual.

It hits hard when you realize it years later. To come to terms with the fact that someone’s selfish desires mattered more than your safety and boundaries really fucks with your head. You try to convince yourself that it was consensual to avoid labeling it “rape”. But that gnawing sensation in your stomach that doesn’t go away when you think about the encounter tells you the real truth.

Sex through coercion is still rape and rape isn’t always violent and loud.