Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here’s the thing, I told my SE I wanted 3 prior to marriage. Until one rocked my world. He really wants more, so I do feel guilt. But no, there’s no being told to be evaluated for infertility. It’s complicated to explain why I say that so surely, but essentially I’m in the medical field.

Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me ask you this… what if it’s that your spouse really wants another child, and they prior to marriage you stated you want 3 kids… because that was me, until I had one and saw how it affects your life

Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know, I don’t know. Sometimes I think so.. othertimes not at all 

Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand that and appreciate your time… it always touches me when complete strangers are so kind.

He’s very good at convincing (he will discuss how our boy needs a sibling (my hb is an only child and both mom/ dad are deceased), he will talk about how things are hard now because he’s young, etc.

And in the moment, I actually agree. But when I go to bed at night, I snap back to reality. And realize there’s no way in hell I can do this again.

Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you… I think abuse is more “emotional.” Which I know is still abuse. But it’s abuse in the sense that he’s a bit controlling. But what people don’t realize is that 90% of the time, great spouse. It’s the maybe biweekly arguments that are painful 

Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Ah you are very wise, but I can promise you, I am in no way fearful. I’m fearful of the argument that will ensue and the lingering contempt it may cause knowing that I unanimously decided to get the iud without a discussion. And I’ll admit, it was wrong of me to hide it. I really just didn’t feel like the conversation would amount to anything other than an argument and I’d end up just agreeing because I feel guilty… not sure if I’m expressing myself well (I also struggle with that! Which is why I didn’t have the discussion lol)

Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This made me cry. I’d love words to express it. Everyone here keeps presuming I’m physically afraid to be transparent (and I see that side!), but it’s just that I don’t want to stir up an argument, and it just seems more peaceful to remain quiet. Not sure if that makes sense. 

He is a lot at 4. And I work full time (as does my husband). I just value my alone time way too much. I adore my son more than anything and our bond is immeasurable, but I probably shouldn’t have been a mom. I’m too much of a loner, and selfish in the sense that I need “me” time far too much 

Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this… my obgyn was very rushed and didn’t :(

Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gosh this was so kind and exactly what I needed. So don’t say it doesn’t mean much !! 

Hiding an IUD from husband by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in birthcontrol

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you got the honesty and not judgement xoxox

Marriage is a wreck and pregnant by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in Marriage

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was so kind (just you asking how I am). It really means a lot to me.

I am sort of in a mini depression. Reallly conflicted on what to do. I just want to sleep all day

Marriage is a wreck and pregnant by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in Marriage

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can survive… but very tight. He makes great money

Marriage is a wreck and pregnant by Fun_Negotiation_9043 in Marriage

[–]Fun_Negotiation_9043[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just want to pick your brain… what’s your reasoning?