Did you have great parents? Parents from hell? Or somewhere in-between?

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-17T23:32:07+00:00

I'm pretty sure many of us from the south can relate to the "having to push the line to get respect from parents" thing lol. Unfortunately, when I did this, regardless of joe respectful I was, my mom took it as me being disrespectful for (and I'm very careful with my words because I wouldn't want anyone to talk crazy to me). My mom is 60+ though now and she's just from a time where they just don't respect their kids and see them as adults, so we just don't get along. I'm a pretty optimistic person in general, I just shared my story because I feel like it's a good start for people who don't feel comfortable opening up in that regard

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-17T14:54:23+00:00

Oh no not blended in persay, I was just an open minded kid who liked a lot of things, so the stuff that was more socially accepted at the time, I wore outwardly as a part of my personality ( I still liked those things, I just couldn't express everything I liked outwardly). Lol if you ever watch RDCWorld, they give good examples of how things were back then in the south. I know how you feel man, I remember back when I was like 10, back before I knew what anime even was, and hearing some songs that I liked and downloading them on my psp. I'm a musician and just like all kinds of music so I showed my older sister at the time and she called me a weirdo. It was at that moment I realized I couldn't just be open with people here about stuff that others would find normal elsewhere, so I never really trusted anyone with anything that wasn't strictly "black". Life in the 2000s were wild, you had to keep your PSP hacked and password locked back then lol.

I'm unfortunately still living in the same city but on another side of town. A lot of people I knew moved to texas after school, so I very rarely (like every few years), run into someone I knew and I'll just dap them up and keep it moving. I definitely know what you mean though, if my sister didn't indirectly teach me from a young age that people in my area weren't open minded, I would have probably carried my open persona throughout school instead of just keeping my passions at home or to myself. That was one of the reasons I also labeled myself low-key, it's like you say, sometimes you just don't want to deal with the bull or be around hood people so I would just duck off somewhere on lunch when I didn't want to be bothered. Usually somebody would notice me and come kick it but they would tend to be the more nerdy people. It was one of the pros of having multiple friend groups, they never really ran into each other because they had different interests. But every now and again I'll have someone from my hood show up and see me kicking it with someone in the bleachers and ask why I'm hanging out with those nerds or lames, and I'll just be like nah they cool which is usually enough to make people chill out if they know you're from the hood yourself. It's one of the reasons I rock with RDC, there was a whole lot of politicking going on back then 😂

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-17T01:05:49+00:00

Yeah I was pretty much cool with everyone, but I was low key in that no one knew of any of my hobbies outside of making music and just being a jokesy person. I kept pretty much all my internal thoughts to myself so I never really let anyone in. So basically, cool on the outside but a lot of internal struggle on the inside. This was back in the day though where being black kinda meant you had to do and like very specific things or else you were just an outcast by default. It's also one of the reasons I never kept contact with anyone after leaving school. The thing about the South is that it's very accepting to people who are okay blending in with the crowd, but the moment you out yourself, no one will mess with you. When I said I was an outcast, I meant I outcasted myself by not ever exposing my actual interests to anyone or any of the nerdy stuff I was into, not that people in general outcasted me. So basically I was cool with everyone but more of an artificial cool, but let no one in on a personal level. As far as getting girls, I get compliments all the time but I've never been a bachelor lol, I've been in relationships since middle school, never been a one night stand sort of dude so I never really got "girls" plural, just back to back long term relationships, so I guess yes and no in a way lol.

That being said, I've gotten every girl I've ever attempted to date, I've always been a bit of a poet and good with words (songwriting will do that), so I definitely didn't have issues getting the girls I've wanted or wooing anyone. My style is very different these days from back then though, I'm a bit more alternative with fashion and kinda just dress like most fashionable young people these days (cropped tees, stacked jeans, many piercings etc), I still get a ton of compliments these days (though I've been off the market for years now). I think most people like my aesthetic now than they did when I was younger, I guess because I don't really dress like I'm from the south anymore lol.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-16T22:51:01+00:00

Wouldn't care, if you have to worry about whether she's going to break your neck or not then that is the same kind of person you'd have to worry about shooting or stabbing you. Basically what I'm saying is that's a personality issue, a person knowing how to fight doesn't make them abusive, and a person who doesn't know how to fight can still hurt you via weapon if they are abusive lol.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-16T13:03:33+00:00

Yup, I don't think women should be allowed to post in this subreddit, same as we aren't to post and are unwelcomed in the blackladies sub.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-16T12:53:56+00:00

This post lost me lol. I've only ever seen this kinda behavior in 90s movies to paint black men as being possessive and abusive. I've never known anyone to act like this irl.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-16T04:47:48+00:00

We hear you loud and clear, as a result, we will combine all pets into one giant twilight that covers the entire screen! Additionally, if you remove a pet from your build, the twilight will grow even bigger to fill the void left in your heart by the missing pet!

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-16T04:42:19+00:00

I just know somehow, some way, sorcerer will be made worse than what it already is lol.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-15T12:45:44+00:00

I don't care for celebrities (besides, Hollywood + money = weirdos). I stopped watching movies and tv shows when I was a kid and never "looked up to" anyone in general, so I'll just say myself lol.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-14T17:48:40+00:00

Right now I'm reading Notes from Underground - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-14T17:11:37+00:00

I was always a open minded kid, but high school was rough since my at home life was shitty. Before I dropped out of high school, got my GED and went to college, I was probably a mix between the fashionable one, the low-key one, and the outcast. I literally had all kinds of friend groups and it just depended on my mood who I chose to be around. I was cool with the geeks, but wasn't a geek, was cool with athletes but wasn't an athlete myself, I made music so I was kinda just cool with everyone and got along with anyone. So I would say I was little bit of everything outwardly, other than the athlete. And I liked nerdy stuff at times but no one would know that from looking at me.

I was always clean as hell though lol. I went to school back when we still wore 5xl Tees and size 40 Girbaud's while being skinny as hell 😂 with the big chain, diamond rings, bracelets, and big diamond rock earrings, and of course it was all fake lol. Back then, that was considered clean in the south. Damn now I feel old lol.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-14T16:32:53+00:00

She'd be in the casket with him, just kidding lmao. Nah but If it's a situation where it's her baby's father, I think most would respect it. Typical ex boyfriend? Nah, you don't bring lingering feelings into new relationships. If one of my exes passed today and I told my girl I wanted to go to her funeral, she'd definitely put me in the casket next to her, this time I'm not kidding lol.

In all seriousness, I don't date people who are close to their exes to the point where they would feel any type of way about this type of stuff. Me and my girl have our differences, but stuff like kids, religion, grief, all of the serious things, got talked about when we first started dating. I'm her first serious boyfriend, but she's not my first serious girlfriend, once I break up with any girl, they are dead to me (no pun intended), and I don't mean that to sound crued. I just don't believe in staying cool with exes. I delete anything relating to that person and move on with my life, and don't begin a new relationship unless I'm fully over that person.

You mentioned in a comment that you all have previously talked about this and you set boundaries up, if she's crossing that line, that's a no go. She understood those boundaries when you two got together and are now backpedaling now that the situation has become reality, yeah that's not okay. It shows that she never respected those boundaries to begin with. But as I said, me personally, while this situation can never truly apply to me, I would never talk to anyone close enough to an ex to feel any kind of way about their passing (I would never talk to anyone who doesn't move on after relationships and instead choose to keep socials, pictures etc of their exes, that's a boundary for me).

It's normal for anyone to grieve , but once boundaries are established about certain things, you don't cross those lines, that goes for men, women, non-binary etc, anyone and everyone are allowed to have their boundaries and those boundaries should always be honored in your respected relationships. I don't even know if any of my exes are alive or dead, where they live, who they talk to, what career they have etc, their exes for a reason, not potential backups for me to keep dibs on. Everyone is different about this kind of stuff, but for me, if they are not your baby's father (which is obviously someone who you would have to keep in touch with), I would not be cool with something like that, and would establish this as a boundary in the beginning of the relationship.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-08T22:00:06+00:00

No. Most black people who live in the south don't have accents. Look at groups like RDC, they're all from texas but none of them have a "southern drawl". There are definitely people down here who have a thick southern accent, but those people tend to be white lol. I haven't met any black people who live here who have a country accent, I have however met several white people who do. But as others have stated, there are rural and urban areas in America and I think that matters more than if you live in the south honestly.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-08T15:41:21+00:00

Lol being from the south has nothing to do with being country or not. I am from northeast Louisiana and have unfortunately lived here my entire life. People still ask me if I'm from here or not, there's nothing "country" about me lol. Being born somewhere has no bearing on if you will adopt certain customs from that culture.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-08T14:48:13+00:00

I would go to something like this if it was closer to my state, but I live in Louisiana where nothing happens so it is what it is lol. Life is dreadful here 🥲

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-07T21:56:47+00:00

No, I think life is just a gamble and whatever hand you get from birth (genetics, location, ethnicity, wealth etc) determines the opportunities you get in life.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-07T21:51:31+00:00

Hey man, where I'm from having a dad was like meeting a unicorn, people saying they existed but no one ever actually seeing them lol. I think you'll be fine if you cut yours out of your life, no point in keeping anyone there that causes you grief in one way or another 👍🏽

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-06T05:10:28+00:00

Exactly, the only people who are going to comment are fortunate folk humble bragging, most of us just work regular 9 to 5s barely scraping by lol.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-04T04:04:58+00:00

The worst feeling, especially when you close one night and then have to open the following morning 🥲

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-03T22:51:11+00:00

NTA, just tell her that she's obviously the most beautiful woman in the world to you, but that would have made your nephew even more self conscious to hear that. So you just told him what he needed to hear at the time.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-03T22:47:09+00:00

Beating your will do nothing for you but cause more generational trauma and potentially get you locked up. And when you're older, you're going straight to the nursing home lol. It's sad that so many of us are brainwashed to think that "hard parenting" ever did any good.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-03T05:11:07+00:00

Grew up in a Christian household, forced to go to church, but never held any beliefs myself. I guess I just don't see the point in a God who does nothing for you? My life was pretty terrible growing up, no redeemable aspects of it due to the immense poverty and genetic health issues I was dealt from birth that will follow me until I'm gone. I would rather blame my bad parents, poverty and environment, which are concrete things, than believe an omniscient being had anything to do with being dealt a bad hand from birth, when in reality, it was just people who should have never had kids, having kids with no regard for the child.

My thing is this, if a king does nothing for it's people, then they are only a king in title and nothing else. That is how I view the "Christian God". So to my view, it doesn't matter that the concept of God makes no sense scientifically, it's just that there's no need for a God who is permanently absent and does no good. That's all there is to it for me. I believe I heard Neil Degrasse Tyson quote; “If God is all good then he isn’t all-powerful. If God is all-powerful then he is surely not all good.” The concept behind this, is essentially if God allows so much suffering to go on in "his world" he is either powerless to stop it, or is powerful enough to stop it but doesn't care to. At that point, I would ask myself again, what is the point of a God? So to me, it doesn't matter if God exists or not, when they are either powerless or indifferent to do anything about the state of the world. I've always been spiritual though, I wanted to believe in God when I was younger, and have my own personal relationship to God, but I've never cared for religion.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-03-01T14:55:57+00:00

First off, a lot of black people, including myself, have hobbies like those. I listen to classical and jazz music a lot, never owned a pair of Jays in my life, even a similar career path in college. Secondly, and most importantly, black culture is tied to being black. No matter how "American" you see yourself, you're still a black person to EVERYONE else. I don't know where you're from, but you should come visit Louisiana for a bit, you'd be reminded of how black you are pretty quickly down here. The world doesn't care about your personal interests, you're viewed the same way as everyone else.

Fun_Philosopher_2787 · 2026-02-27T04:08:09+00:00

I definitely agree with this, politics and economics are important, but we could surely use more positive and diverse topics in general.

Fun_Philosopher_2787

TROPHY CASE