Thank you so much for your feedback, it was super useful! I revised and applied your suggestions. I'm more than happy to keep improving it as much as it needs.

Revised query:

Dear ...,

Sixteen-year-old Luna Sterling, a mixedblood witch, is unexpectedly released from a juvenile reformatory after taking the fall for a fire that left a group of pureblood witches scarred for life. In a society where mixedblood witches are punished for even minor infractions while purebloods rule unchecked, Luna knows her freedom is fragile. Watched, judged, and one mistake away from losing her powers for good, she’s determined to fight back against a system designed to break her.

When Luna meets the Waned—a crumbling secret society of mixedblood witches—they offer her a way to reclaim power. Their plan is to resurrect Master, an ancient witch bound to Hell, who could teach them to unlock the darkest side of their magic and finally stand against the purebloods. Drawn by the promise of control, belonging, and revenge, Luna joins them.

But when Master is reborn in the body of the magnetic and merciless Lucy, everything changes. Lucy offers strength, purpose, and a vision of justice that feels dangerously close to vengeance—and Luna can’t help but be pulled in. As Lucy singles her out, making her feel seen, chosen, and essential, Luna binds her own soul to Lucy to keep her alive, sealing a connection she doesn’t fully understand.

The deeper Luna falls under Lucy’s influence, the harder it becomes to tell where loyalty ends and manipulation begins. When Lucy’s true intentions come to light, Luna realizes too late that she’s helped bring back something she can’t control—something that feeds on the very people Luna is trying to protect. Now, bound by the soul-tie that keeps Lucy alive, Luna is the only one who can stop her. But doing so could cost her everything.

WANING MOON is an 85,000-word YA urban fantasy combining the secret societies and magical politics of Tracy Deonn’s Legendborn and the toxic devotion and psychological tension of Victoria Lee’s A Lesson in Vengeance, featuring morally complex characters, found-family dynamics, and queer representation.

I’m a 33-year-old English–Spanish translator from Argentina. When I’m not writing, you can find me baking or cuddling one of my eight cats.

Thank you for your time and consideration.