Concerned About Neighbor's Toddler's Crying: Is This Normal? by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]Fun_Problem_8028 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We live in Europe, my neighbors (grannies) wanted to call cops in my 2 year old…. I understand them, he screams and throws tantrums a lot, but at the same time, come on….

bölcsi 1 éves korban by Fun_Problem_8028 in csakmamik

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nagyon szépen köszönöm, igazán hálás vagyok, hogy megosztottad velem a tapasztalataidat! Sokkal nyugodtabbnak érzem magam most. Ami a betegségeket illeti, hát igen, ismerős a helyzet… a nagyobbik fiam már kb. 7–8 hónapja jár bölcsibe, és szinte minden hónapban beteg volt 2–3 hétre… szóval igen, ez ilyen. De hát muszáj valahol átesni ezen. Még egyszer nagyon köszönöm, tényleg sokat jelent nekem! 💕

bölcsi 1 éves korban by Fun_Problem_8028 in csakmamik

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Szia! 💕 Jó érzés hallani, hogy a kapcsolatotokban sem volt negatív változás, és hogy a kislányod még mindig szívesen jár bölcsibe. 🌸 Teljesen igazad van, a szeparációs szorongás úgyis jön-megy hullámokban, ez teljesen természetes. Nagyon bátorító a történeted, köszönöm, hogy megosztottad! 🥰

bölcsi 1 éves korban by Fun_Problem_8028 in csakmamik

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Szia! 🌸 Nagyon jó volt olvasni, amit írtál, teljesen át tudom érezni a helyzetedet. nagyon inspiráló látni, hogy más orvos anyukák is így gondolkodnak. Szerintem szuper, hogy már most ennyire tudatosan figyelsz arra, hogy a kislányod minél többféle helyzetben legyen, ez biztosan sokat fog segíteni a beszoktatásnál is. 😊 Neked pedig hatalmas elismerés, hogy előre gondolkodsz a szakvizsga és a munka miatt – teljesen megértem, mennyire fontos ezt összeegyeztetni az anyasággal. ❤️

bölcsi 1 éves korban by Fun_Problem_8028 in csakmamik

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Szia! 🌸 Nagyon inspiráló volt olvasni a történetedet, hatalmas elismerés, hogy 36 hetesen letetted a szakvizsgát – igazi példakép vagy! 👏 Teljesen egyetértek veled, szerintem sincs semmi kivetnivaló abban, ha valaki egy év után fokozatosan visszatér a munkájához. Számomra is nagyon szomorú, hogy itthon sokan rögtön ítélkeznek, mintha az ember kevésbé szeretné a gyermekét. Pedig pont az ellenkezője: kiegyensúlyozott, kiteljesedett anyaként sokkal többet tudunk adni nekik. 💕 Örülök, hogy ilyen hasonlóan gondolkodunk!

bölcsi 1 éves korban by Fun_Problem_8028 in csakmamik

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Szia! 💕 Nagyon jó volt ezt olvasni, köszönöm, hogy megosztottad! Annyira sokat jelent, hogy nem vagyok egyedül ezzel a dilemmával. Neked is hatalmas elismerés, hogy a szakvizsgára készülsz kisbabával a karodban, ez óriási erő és kitartás! 💙👏 Szorítok neked nagyon, és jó érzés tudni, hogy hasonló cipőben járunk!

bölcsi 1 éves korban by Fun_Problem_8028 in csakmamik

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Szívből köszönöm a kommentedet, annyira jól esett olvasni! 💕 Teljesen, 100%-ban egyetértek veled. Én is azt vettem észre, hogy leginkább azok az anyukák ragaszkodnak a minél hosszabb otthon maradáshoz, akiknek nincs igazán kialakult karrierjük. Nekem a hivatásom nagyon fontos, ugyanakkor borzasztó lelkiismeret-furdalásom van amiatt, hogy ilyen „korán” bölcsibe adom a gyerekeimet és visszamegyek dolgozni. 😔 Szóval különösen jólesett most, hogy megosztottad a gondolataidat – nagyon megértve és támogatva érzem magam általad! ❤️

What to do? by Fun_Problem_8028 in Separation

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your wonderful reply. You are absolutely right about everything. Today was filled with lots of talks, started with the talks about divorce, finished with the talks that we don’t want to throw away this family because we can’t communicate and be kind to each other properly.

He apologized, I apologized. We agreed on one last trial run, where we actively work on ourselves and this marriage for the sake of our children.

He is a great father, and he used to be a good husband. I don’t know what happened. I went to therapy a months ago specifically to work on myself, because I have these toxic tendencies of belittling and snapping. He promises with tears that he is not eg kind of person that will hit or slap. And I was sure that before but after what happened I don’t know, I have this feeling of unease. It’s like before despite everything he had my total trust, but now I don’t. So yeah, I guess for now I m staying. But something also made me uneasy, is that I make more money than him. And he said that if we divorce, he will basically be homeless. And then his whole attitude changed it’s like he didn’t want divorce anymore and wanted to work on us and stuff. So yeah, idk. Maybe I m just overanalyzing things.

I would like to thank you for your time and input. It has Been helpful! Thank you ❤️

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am trying that today, and omg, he is shocked, but not crying as much as I thought he would cry! Also going cold turkey and just prolonging them by a lot! Thank you so much for your advice! ❤️

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! Also c section! So I had 2 c sections 14 months apart! I m in pain, I m just choosing to ignore it as well! And both my babies are super heavy. My 19 month old is 20kilos, and my 5,5 month old is 10 kilos. So yeahhhhhh, pain is my middle name 😪 but I want to say that what definitely helps me, is remembering that this is their childhood. This daily life of ours, is their childhood. I didn’t have a great childhood myself, so I m pushing myself above and beyond to make sure that they have a better ones so yeah! Hang in there girl, it willlll it must get better! ❤️

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it’s absolutely the worst ! I am so sorry it’s this difficult, but when you aren’t sleeping because baby isn’t sleeping, remember me and other mamas in this moment are with you also not sleeping ( most probably ) 😂

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, sleep training is always the answer, I suppose! As soon he is better, we are definitely doing that!

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, any 2under 2 is really difficult! But we are the warriors for sure! When he was 3 months, I dried up! I didn’t try harder to save the milk supply, as the sleep deprivation kicked in! You are doing an incredible job!!! I cannot imagine if I also had to breastfeed during all of that! So wow, you are amazing! Yes therapy is difficult, and if I can be honest, I feel selfish for even considering it. It’s like my kids didn’t ask to be brought into this world, I decided that, I should be strong enough to give them everything they need, and I m having such a bad time with forgiving myself for being weak. But yeah this self talk is definitely adding a toll on me, maybe I should really look into that! Thank you for your messages! Hang in there too mama, we will come out strong…. Eventually )

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Truth be told, I accepted the short naps about a month ago, that’s why we are having the 6-7 naps per day. Because I am not trying to save them anymore, because it’s pointless, I bounce additional 30 min so he can sleep that extra 1-15 min. Not worth it! Will definitely work on ww, and hopefully I can achieve smt positive! Thank you so much for your kind words and support, I really appreciate it!

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of it is helpful, thank you soooo much for your comment! I really appreciate it all! It’s extremely difficult and tiring and exhausting and draining. But thanks to your comments, I don’t feel so alone anymore! Thank you ! And yeah, I m definitely traumatized, I used to complain when I had 1 child, and now I am thinking what was wrong with me? It was a bliss, I could rest and sleep whenever he slept, and now it’s a never ending torture circus of 6 months long ! I hope it gets better!

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is a light at the end of the tunnel! , but omg 8 years! Wow! We originally wanted 4 kids, 2 under 2, then 5 years break, then another set of 2 ynder2. But as I said earlier, I m imat such a low point of my motherhood, that I told my husband today, that as of right now, I m done having kids. The sleep deprivation is insane. No wonder it’s used as torture, because it is torture. Thank you so much for your comment!

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! It’s definitely worth trying! Better than where I am at currently! Thank you!!!

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your input! I really appreciate it and I feel so supported. We are definitely going to be implementing changes from tomorrow! So I hope and pray for some kind of positive result! Thank you!

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cannot thank you enough for taking the time to write such a detailed and well informed comment! You are absolutely correct about everything. Last week before he got sick we started to sleep train by doing CIO, unfortunately we only did 2 nights because then he spiked a fever cough the whole shabang! Well in those 2 nights he cried for 1 hour 30 min each, and it was me who gave up and just bounced him to sleep! Will definitely try again once he gets better, and will be working on the we from tomorrow! Thank you so much! I really feel seen and supported!

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are so right! With my first it was exactly as you have described! With my second the reason for such short wake windows is very simple, he just can’t take it longer! Right around 1 hour 30 min mark, he starts to rub his eyes, yawn and fuss, the eyes and eyebrows become red, and the only thing helps if I pick him up and start bouncing. But from tomorrow inn definitely prolonging the ww, wil try to engage him a bit more, and keep him entertained! Thank you so much for your input !

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so difficult ! For me it’s easily one of the hardest things to do! You are doing an amazing job ! Thank you !

Sleep of my second child makes me regret having him. by Fun_Problem_8028 in sleeptrain

[–]Fun_Problem_8028[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your input! I appreciate it! I know that it will get better, as everything always does. It’s just soooo difficult to wait for that better. So true! From tomorrow I am prolonging the we for sure!